Secrets in my Heart
by JTTran
Summary: A small love story between Beast Boy and Raven, who both try to understand their feelings for one another. However, danger awaits their new love, as Beast Boy must deal with his feelings for Terra while Raven must deal with a certain secret of her own.
1. Visions of the Heart x Beast Boy

**Disclaimer: I claim to own none of the characters here! So I've had this story in mind for a little while, so I decided to put it up here.**

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><p>"Why can't you just accept the facts?" said Raven, slightly louder than before. "Just face it, Beast Boy; she's gone."<p>

"No!" shouted Beast Boy, whose face was burning with fury. "Terra's one of my best friends! She's one of _our_ best friends! And I know I saw her. So why do you keep trying to force her out of our lives?"

"Because you _didn't_ see her. You were probably hallucinating." Raven sighed, trying to speak a little more calmly, but still couldn't help but sound slightly cynical. "Look, I know her body disappeared, and maybe you did see her, but if she doesn't want to remember you, then let her. And stop **obsessing over her**!"

Beast Boy took a step back, slightly stunned. He had almost never heard Raven shout before, never like that. To hear those words come out of her mouth with such force and emotion was almost frightful.

"She's getting in our way, Beast Boy," Raven continued. "Last mission, you kept thinking about her and you let Slade get away!" She paused, suddenly realizing what she had just let slip.

Beast Boy said, confusingly, "How… How do you know what I was thinking? You—you were sick last mission!"

"I—I wasn't sick," the witch admitted. "I only said I was because…I needed to spy on you." She seemed almost apologetic. "You were slacking, Beast Boy. I could tell something was on your mind. So I stayed in the tower and I entered your mind during the fight. And…all you could ever think about was Terra!" She was back to a shouting voice, though not as loud as before.

Anger filled Beast Boy to the brim. "You—you were spying on me? How dare you! My mind is for no one but me. I can't believe you! And so what if I was thinking about Terra? What do you care?"

Raven's voice was the loudest it had ever been now. "Because you need to stop thinking about her—" Her sentence was stopped short as she suddenly began to pant—then gasp—then wheeze. She grabbed onto the side of her door. Beast Boy, thoroughly confused at what was happening but to angry to care, resisted any attempts to ask her what the matter was. He heard her start to mumble, but ignored it. "Please, Beast Boy, please stop talking. I need…to be alone," she whispered.

"What? No, I won't just shut up. Look, Raven, I don't know what your problem is, but you got to start caring about other people!" Beast Boy shouted.

"Please," the girl pleaded. "I need to be alone." Silently, she closed the door to her room, separating her from her friend.

Beast Boy was infuriated now. How dare she provoke him about his lost friend, and then tell him to shut up and shut the door in his face? How dare she? Not even thinking about what he was saying, the boy shouted with the top of his lungs, "Fine! Shut the door! Ignore the world! Ignore everybody else! You can never think about anyone else, can you? You only think about yourself!" He stormed out of the hall.

He nearly ran towards his room. Slamming the door behind him, Beast Boy leapt onto his bed and punched his pillows. He and Raven have been fighting for quite a while, for some reason unknown to him. They've always fought with each other ever since they met, but never as seriously or as much as now. Still, how could she say that to him, about Terra, who was so close to him? Sure, Terra had betrayed the Teen Titans, but she helped save the city later on, at the cost of her own life. And now, a month before, Beast Boy had seen her in the city. Only, she didn't recognize him. Or, as Slade had said, she didn't _want_ to recognize him. None of the Titans, especially Raven, had believed him. Sometimes he wasn't sure he believed it himself.

But Raven knows how much Terra means to him. How could she just say that to him? That was unforgivable. He…he loved her. And now she's gone forever. Now…she doesn't want him.

"That's not true," said a familiar voice.

"Wha?" exclaimed Beast Boy has he turned around. And there she was standing there in his room: Terra, her lost love.

"Beast Boy. I never said I didn't want you anymore," said the girl. "I'm sorry, but I didn't want the life that I had," she admitted. "I betrayed you, and I could never forgive myself for that. But that doesn't mean I don't want you. It means you don't need me." She stepped closer to him. "Please move on, Beast Boy. It's what I want. I don't want you to keep on moping about me. Open up to others again. You can find another girl, one even better than me." With these words, she lifted her head to his and lightly kissed his cheek.

Beast Boy stared at the ground. "But…I don't want to lose what we had."

Terra replied, "Then, do you want to lose what you could've had with someone else?"

"What?" questioned Beast Boy, as he looked up. Except she wasn't there. Nobody was there. No one was ever there.

Beast Boy sighed. He knew it was time to move on. To let go of the past. Letting go wasn't going to be easy. He laid on his bed for what seemed to be hours. Terra's, or rather, the Terra in Beast Boy's daydream, words echoed in his mind, "Do you want to lose what you could've had with someone else?"

Gradually, he climbed out of bed and slowly walked out of his room in down the hallway. It was somewhat late. Most of the Titans were probably in their rooms. Slowly, he trudged down the hallway and toward Raven's room. As he reached it, he raised his reluctant fist up towards the door and knocked three careful times. He then opened the door.

"Starfire, I told you to—" started Raven, who stopped once she realized who her visitor was. "Oh… it's you." Beast Boy could tell she had been meditating, for she was levitating in the air above her bed. He watched as she expertly landed on the floor and walked towards the door. He sensed that she was waiting for him to talk first, so he slowly said, "Umm… Look, Raven. I'm sorry."

"Oh no, _I'm_ sorry," she interrupted. "It was my fault; I should've been more—"

"No, let me finish." Beast Boy continued, "I'm sorry I haven't been focusing on more important things. You're right. I _do_ have to stop thinking about Terra so much. I miss her, but I know it's time to move on. I'm sorry I yelled at you. Raven, you're one of my closest friends, and this isn't how friends treat each other. Can you please forgive me? Please?"

Raven seemed slightly distracted, but quickly she focused back in on the conversation and replied, "Yes, yes of course. But now it's my turn. Look, I am sorry that I was so cynical. Beast Boy you _are_ one of my closest friends, too, and I—"

Raven continued, but Beast Boy wasn't paying much attention. He smiled; Raven's hood was down. He had always liked it when her hood was down. It made her seem more open, more caring. He stared at her indigo-violet hair. It never occurred to him how soft it looked, how much he wanted to feel it. It looked like purple velvet, just the look of it. As Raven kept on talking, he couldn't help but shift his focus toward her eyes. Then, he lost himself. Were her eyes always like that? Always so deep? So violet? As if her entire life was compressed into those two diamonds. As if he could stare into their vast endlessness and see everything she had seen, felt everything she had ever felt. As if he could dive into those two pools and fall deeper and deeper, and never stop diving. As if…

Beast Boy stopped abruptly. What was going on? He had never thought about anyone like this before. Not even with Terra had he thought thoughts such as these. Was he—no it wasn't possible. He couldn't possibly be attracted to Raven. The very idea was preposterous! True, he had thought Raven was very beautiful from the moment he first laid eyes on her, but he also thought Starfire was very pretty, and he had never thought anything about her like he just did with Raven. Besides, he and Raven were complete opposites. While Raven had opened up considerably after she fought her father, and Beast Boy had become much more mature after his last encounter with Terra, they were still opposite sides of a spectrum. No—he and Raven were just very good friends. So what if he had stared at her eyes for just one second? He and Raven were best friends, and nothing will change that fact.

"Yeah, of course," he said, after seeing that Raven was done talking. "So… you know. Good night," he stammered, smiling at his best friend. "Yeah, thanks," replied his best friend, smiling timidly back at him. Then Raven's door separated the two best friends.

Beast Boy sighed, probably because he was so tired. He started down the hallway, but couldn't shake off the feeling that he was slightly disappointed, like he wanted to say something to Raven, maybe to apologize one more time. He shrugged off the feeling and kept walking. He heard the sound of a voice calling his name, "Beast Boy?" Beast Boy turned around abruptly, feeling his heart jump slightly. "Yes?" he answered. Raven, standing at her door, seemed to stammer a little, but then gave him one final "Good night," and a small smile. Then she walked inside her room and gently closed the door. Beast Boy felt like smiling, but he didn't know why. "Good night," he whispered, and headed down to his room.

~Secrets in my Heart~


	2. Visions of the Heart x Raven

_Azarath Metrion Zinthos_

_The chosen daemon of Azarath_

_Who sought control and peace_

_Must lock away the keys to the heart_

_Lest the Paen be released._

_Azarath Metrion Zinthos_

_Anger, Hatred, Envy_

_Shalt tear the mind apart._

_But there exists a greater force,_

_The Pain of the Heart._

_Azarath Metrion Zinthos_

"You—you were spying on me?" the Beast Boy shouted. "How dare you! My mind is for no one but me. I can't believe you! And so what if I was thinking about Terra? What do you care?"

Raven couldn't think. Words and anger simply flowed from her mouth. "Because you need to stop thinking about her—" A flash. Darkness. Two pairs of blood red eyes. _Yes, Raven. Hatred._ The girl screamed, but no sound came from her lips. She fell, holding onto the door next to her. Gasp, pant, gasp, pant. Raven realized what was happened. She grabbed onto the side of her door. Her mind was in a haze. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," the witch whispered, trying to calm herself. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Peace, calm, tranquility." _Rage. _No! Peace, calm, tranquility. _Hatred._ Peace, Calm, Tranquility. _Envy._ Peace! Calm! Tranquility! She must meditate. _Kill._ "Please, Beast Boy, please stop talking. I need…to be alone," she gasped. It was coming. Holding it back would be futile. _Stopping me is futile._

The boy shouted something, but it was all to muffled for the girl to hear. "Please," she pleaded. "I need to be alone." Silently, she closed the door to her room.

"Fine! Shut the door! Ignore the world! Ignore everybody else! You can never think about anyone else, can you? You only think about yourself!" _Sin._ NO! Azarath! Metrion! Zinthos! She felt it eating away at her. Pain everywhere. Pangs from her chest. Pounding from her head. Azarath! Metrion! Zinthos! It calmed. Soon, it faded, then left her. The girl was panting and sweating from head to toe. But she knew it wasn't gone. It would happen again. And maybe next time, she wouldn't be so lucky. Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos… Her room was suddenly filled with light. "Raven?" she heard a voice call. As Raven looked at the doorway, she saw the familiar figure of her friend. "Starfire," she whispered.

"Were… you and Beast Boy fighting again?" Her friend asked, although she already knew the answer. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Raven sighed. Talking about it was the last thing she wanted to do, but if she knew Starfire would bother her even more if she didn't. But Raven knew it would be much easier speaking with Starfire than anyone else. "Just about Terra, really," the witch replied.

"Oh. I understand," her friend said back. She entered the room, which was filled with hundreds of spell books and numerous magical artifacts. Raven sensed she was looking for something, but she couldn't tell what. "You and Beast Boy have been arguing multiple times lately," her friend said. "Far more often than usual. Is anything wrong?" Her friend looked at her straight in the eye.

Raven thought for an answer. "No, of course not. Why would you think that?" She paused. Her answer wasn't as convincing as she had wanted it to be.

Her friend seemed to know that. "It seems that ever since Beast Boy had found a girl he believes to be Terra, you have been much more argumentative towards him. Raven, if you want to talk about anything, you are always welcome to talk with me." Her friend wasn't looking at her. It seems she had found what she was looking for.

"It's nothing," said Raven, as she peered past her friend, hoping to take a look at what she had found. Then she saw it. Raven saw her friend reaching for it. "No, Starfire, don't touch that!" But it was too late. Starfire grasped the mirror and disappeared in a flash. Raven understood what Starfire was trying to do. She had entered her mind. The witched hurried over to the mirror and grabbed it. She closed her eyes as she is transported to Nevermore, the realm of her mind.

Raven opened her eyes as she felt a cold wind blowing against her. She looked around. "Starfire!" she shouted. "Where are you?" Raven looked all around her, hoping to find her friend. She quickly found the faint image of Starfire flying towards a building. "Where is she going?" Raven mumbled, until she gasped at the realization of where Starfire was going. "No! She wouldn't!" Raven transformed into her soul-self and flew towards the building.

By the time she had gotten to the building marked "HALL OF THOUGHTS AND MEMORIES", Starfire had just entered. Quickly, Raven ran into the building to find her friend staring at the walls. "Starfire!" she panted. "Come on, let's get out of here!" Raven tried pulling her out, but her friend resisted.

"Raven," she said, pointing at the walls. Raven did not look at the walls. She feared what was on them. "Raven, look," said her friend, pointing at the walls once more. Reluctantly, Raven shifted her eyes from Starfire to the walls of her thoughts and memories. On it, she saw moving pictures of Beast Boy. Raven looked at the other wall. Also Beast Boy. Raven slowly walked down the hallway, never taking her eyes off of the walls. Beast Boy. Beast Boy running. Beast Boy smiling. Laughing. Sad.

Her friend spoke. "They—are all of Beast Boy."

Raven sighed, walking to the door. "Let's go, Starfire."

…

"Starfire, I told you to—" started Raven, who stopped once she realized who her visitor was. "Oh… it's you." Raven walked towards to door to the boy she had seen in her Hallway of Thoughts and Memories. The boy stammered, "Umm… Look, Raven. I'm sorry."

"Oh no, _I'm_ sorry," she interrupted. "It was my fault; I should've been more—"

"No, let me finish." The boy continued speaking. Raven stared at him as he spoke. She kept thinking about the hallway. Beast Boy smiling, laughing, joking. All were memories she kept, memories she remembered. Why would that be? Raven stared at the boy. There wasn't much physically attractive about him. His freakishly green skin and rather weak physique, which really doesn't compare to the likes of Robin or Cyborg. His pathetically cute fangs. His fluffy hair. His eyes when he smiled. His eyes when he was sad. Strange, she thought. His eyes seemed to change depending at whatever emotion he was feeling. His happy eyes made her want to laugh with him. His sad eyes made her want to cry and ease his pain. There was nothing attractive about him. "Yes, yes of course," she replied without hearing what he said. "But now it's my turn. Look, I am sorry that I was so cynical. Beast Boy you _are_ one of my closest friends, too, and I should be more considerate. I know Terra was very close to you, and she betraying us and saving us must have been very hard on you. I can't blame you if you think about her." She paused, just for a second, and said under her breath, "You're not the only one who thinks about other people…" She spoke her normal volume now. "We are such great friends, Beast Boy. Let's not fight anymore. Ok?"

"Yeah, of course," the boy said. "So… you know. Good night," he stammered, smiling at his best friend. "Yeah, thanks," replied the girl, smiling timidly back at him. Then Raven's door separated the two best friends.

She sighed, then smiled. Slowly, she walked back towards her bed. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she chanted. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

"Come on, Raven. You know you want to," said a voice. Raven opened her eyes "What?" And there he was—Beast Boy standing in the middle of her room. "So why don't you?" said Beast Boy.

"Excuse me, I am trying to meditate here," she replied annoyingly. "And besides, why should I? It's not like you'd feel the same."

"And how do you know that?" said the boy. "You saw the way I looked at you. And I saw the way you looked at me. Can't you feel it, Raven? The amazing connection we have?"

"I—I don't know," said the girl. "How should I? How can I?" She looked straight into the eyes of the boy. "Beast Boy, we've been friends for so long. Wouldn't it be weird for us and the others? Why can't we just be friends?"

"Raven, who cares about what they think. It's us that matters. Think about it. We'd be amazing together. We are perfect for each other."

"I know but—"

"Look, Raven. Everything's perfect. I like you. Madly. I'm not thinking about Terra anymore. Just you. So the only question left is—" He stepped closer to her. "Are you attracted to me?"

"I—I don't know—How"

"Raven." He stared deep into her eyes. "Are you attracted to me?"

"I—I'm not sure. You've always just been my friend. I've never looked at you that way before, Beast Boy."

"Well start looking." With these words, the boy leaned towards the girl and, with a movement so quick, grabbed her arms gently but firmly, and brought her lips to his.

As their lips touched, so did their hearts. Raven could feel it, not physically, but spiritually. She felt a surge of emotions and feelings rushing throughout her body, warming her from head to toe. She closed her eyes and her body felt like it was being thrust into a deep sea. She felt her body and his body flow ever so gracefully together. She was being separated from the world, from everything. She felt everything melt all around her. All her muscles relaxed. Her mind was eased. She felt everything fear, every doubt, and every trouble she had ever had disappear. She no longer thought anything—she only felt. It was like she had always been dead, and this boy was breathing sweet, joyful life into her.

After what seemed like an eternity, she felt the hands around her arms disappear, and the lips gently fading. She opened her eyes, and no one was there. An illusion, she realized. But it felt so real. It felt so good. Raven rushed out, quickly opening the door. "Beast Boy!" she called. She saw him turn around, and smiled as she prepared to rush into his arms. "Yes?" he answered. Raven, ready and eager to rush in, suddenly stopped. She remembered. What if? Was it possible? She stared at Beast Boy. What if this was the thing that would—. Could it? She trusted Beast Boy, but what if—it—happened? No. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't take the chance. Raven, standing at her door, seemed to stammer a little, but then gave him one final "Good night," and a small smile. She resisted every urge to press her lips into his. Then she walked inside her room and gently closed the door. Seeing him smile was good enough. She didn't need anything more. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," the witch chanted. Seeing him smile was good enough.

~Secrets in my Heart~


	3. First Dates x Beast Boy

**Sorry it's been a while, but personally I hated writing this chapter. Mostly because this is a "filler" chapter and nothing absolutely important actually happens. Not that it's not interesting. I really hope it is. But trust me, this is probably the LEAST interesting chapter in the whole story.**

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><p>Cyborg fell on the rooftop with a noticeable <em>crack<em>. He hastily looked at his shoulder. "Great," he mumbled. "That'll take a couple hundred to replace." Brushing off his little injury, he transformed his arm into a cannon and tried to find his target. "Where are you," he mumbled as he scanned the dark sky. Finding a woman wearing dark clothes in the middle of the night wasn't an easy task, even with a robotic eye. There! No, that's Starfire. After briefly looking for her, he switched his arm back and decided it was better to go find her first. As he was about to jump onto another building, he heard a mysterious voice, "Looking for me?"

Cyborg, with his keen reflexes, quickly turned around and aimed the cannon arm at the woman—but was met with a bolt of dark lightning. Flying off the rooftop from the force of the bolt, Cyborg was soon caught by his trusty green pterodactyl. The dinosaur carried him up onto another roof and quickly changed back into human form.

"Thanks, Beast Boy."

"Don't thank me for long." The changeling switched into an eagle and flew back towards the woman, who was currently being occupied by Starfire in the sky. It was almost like a lightshow between the two of them: bright green energy bolts and dark violet orbs flew across the sky. He quickly dodged a loose energy bolt that flew his way. Beast Boy contemplated attacking the woman from behind while Starfire was distracting her, but he decided against it. With Starfire and the woman firing away, there's a very likely chance he would get hit and do more harm than help. Instead, he flew around the two and wait until one of them gets hit—only then would he swiftly attack the unsuspecting woman.

While flying in the air, Beast Boy scanned below to see where his fellow teammates were—a tactic Robin had taught him to do. Cyborg was still on the roof, most likely afraid to fire a cannon shot in case he hits Starfire, Raven was on the ground, trying to heal an injured Robin, who had taken a fire spell to the shoulder and was severely burned. He smiled. She worked so hard learning those spells. He wondered what the Teen Titans would've been without Raven. Most likely all dead. He continued to gaze at her. Maybe he should dive down and help her. Maybe she needs some help. No, focus on the mission.

In an instant, he heard a distinctive cry he knew was Starfire's. He then turned to the woman and rushed towards her, knocking into her by surprise. The woman and Beast Boy both fell onto a roof, immediately recovering from the minor fall. The green changeling quickly morphed into a large bear and quickly tackled the woman. He knew that he, a close range fighter, would be no match for her, whose spells could be fired from a distance, so he had to give her no chance to attack. The woman acrobatically jumped up and swiftly implanted her foot into Beast Boy's face. The green bear staggered a little, but recuperated and swiped his claws at the woman's face. This she dodged carefully, and struck the bear's side with her hand. This stunned the bear long enough for her to shoot a shard of dark ice at its face, followed by binding it with darkness. The beast changed back to human form, unable to strike back. While he was still bound and helpless, she lifted him up telekinetically and, with a wide and evil grin across her face, slowly tightened the bind. She laughed maniacally as she heard the boy scream out in pain.

Beast Boy struggled to get a breath. Was this the end? He could feel the air being pushed out of him. He started to lose all feeling in his legs, then his arms. The numbness spread all throughout his body. Then—he was released. He fell to the ground, but not before hearing the woman grunt. Someone had just attacked her. As he breathed heavily, Beast Boy quietly thanked whoever had just saved his life. But who was it?

"This way!" he heard Starfire say as she flew past him, heading towards a cliff nearby. He hurriedly changed into a cheetah and saw Cyborg and Robin running not too far behind him. Beast Boy sprinted towards the cliff and began to see two figures fighting. It was the woman and—Starfire? No, Starfire was still flying towards them. It has to be Raven then.

So Raven had saved his life. He thanked her in his mind, and ran even faster. He then heard a scream—one that he would never forget. It sounded horrible, like the sound a woman makes when she has found out her child was dead, or the sound a man makes when his brother thrusts a sword into his heart. The cry wasn't one of physical pain—it was one of agony.

No! Raven! He ran as fast as he could. He now saw only one figure, standing tall and erect. Fear and anger flushed into his face as he grew closer and closer to the woman who might have just killed his best friend. The figure turned around and stared at him with a menacing and almost taunting face. She then removed her hood, and let her indigo-violet hair touch the emerging sunrise. As her friends came near, she gave them a small smile. "Come on," she said. "Let's go home."

…

_Her smile—it seemed…sad._

…

"Aww MAN! That was one battle!"

"I know! That woman—whoever she was—was pretty tough. Props go to Raven for beating her."

"Yes! Raven! Congratulations! We must celebrate, perhaps with some high-calorie snacks or the jumping of joy?"

"Yeah, we gotta celebrate. With Raven being the center of the party."

"Yeah come on Raven!"

"Jeez, where'd I put that cake from last week?"

"Oh yeah, I ate it… Sorry."

"Beast Boy!"

"Cyborg, I do not think it is wise to consume sugary foods at such a late hour. You do not want to repeat what happened last month."

"Ugh, Starfire!"

"Man that spell hurt though. Good thing Raven was there."

"Yo, Rae! You want to watch a movie or just order some pizza? Rae?"

"Raven?"

She wasn't there.

…

Beast Boy looked at the clock. 8:56. She should be awake by now. Beast Boy knocked on her door. _Knock, knock, knock_. One, two, three. He took a deep breath. It's now or never.

He hoped she would answer this time. She must've been pretty tired last night. From the look on her face, she looked exhausted. That must be why she went to her room so early. Beast Boy waited patiently. It still didn't open. He sighed. And left. _Step, step, step_. One, two, three. So many things in three's today. Another thing was in three's today, too: the words, "Beast Boy, wait." He turned around. There she was. She looked tired. She then smiled. He smiled back.

"Hi, good morning."

"Hey, you too."

"Did you knock?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Want to talk?"

"Just one thing. Thanks for yesterday. Saving my life."

Raven smiled again. "Is that all?"

"Umm I guess."

Beast Boy scratched his head. How awkward this conversation was! Just say what you want to say. He had planned exactly what to say. But why couldn't he do it now? He had the words right there on his tongue. They were just refusing to come out. They were fighting so hard to stay in that when he forced words out, it's like they were jumbled up together. He sighed. What was going on? Now he couldn't even talk to her without stuttering? Beast Boy looked at her, deep into her eyes. Years later, he would try to remember what he was thinking at that time, and why he asked her what he did. "Hey, Raven," he started.

One more thing happened in three's that day:

"Come with me."

…

The boy and the girl walked out of the music store, both smiling. The boy glanced at the girl. She's smiling. That's good, right? No, of course not. This was so stupid of me! Why bring her here? She probably didn't even like it. She's just being nice. Grr, I'm so STUPID! Keep on smiling. But, what if she did enjoy it? He had shown her a place he'd shown no one else before, not even Terra. He glanced again. She was still smiling. Maybe… she did like it. Why did he show her? It was so random. So spontaneous. But it was good. She did smile, didn't she?

Was this… a date?

No. It's just two close friends going to a music store. That was all. He sighed, but tried not to make it an obvious one. She smiled.

"Beast Boy, now it's my turn."

"What?" He looked at her confused.

"I want to show you a place." She smiled.

…

"Ok, open your eyes."

Beast Boy opened them and was met with a bright ray of light shining on his face, along with a light spray of water. A cool wind was blowing, and the air was warm, but slightly humid. In front of him was the sun, amber orange and red and barely touching the sea. The sky was painted orange with a few, thin clouds. He looked below. The sea was blue, bluer than he'd ever seen, and were gently flowing onto the yellow beach underneath. Behind him was a great forest, filled with life, but was surprisingly quiet. He looked at the cliff he and Raven were standing on. It was black and hard, strong and sturdy, and protruded right over the seashore.

"Raven," he asked. "Where are we?"

Raven smiled. "This is my secret place." She sat down on the edge. Beast Boy followed, somewhat clumsily as he tried not to fall off. He looked at her. She was sitting so perfectly, so casually, while he was awkwardly trying not to lose his balance. She must have come here often, he deduced. This was pleasant. It seemed so unlike Raven, who was so dark and mysterious. And yet, this is her secret place? A place so bright, so peaceful? He looked at a smiling Raven, whose eyes were closed. There were so many things about her that he didn't know, and now she was revealing one of her secrets to him. He was… touched. He, too, closed his eyes and felt the warmth of the sun against his face. Moments like these he would cherish for the rest of his life.

He… touched. His fingers felt something. Almost at their own will, his hands crept closer and closer to the object. He tried resisting, but it was futile. It felt too… good. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest, struggling to get out. As his fingers inched closer to hers, Beast Boy could feel his heart bursting. As the tips of his fingers collapsed over her nails, he heard a small gasp. Quickly, he pulled back his hand and looked at her. She was doing the same. As their eyes met, he felt the emotions pour out. Just do it. Do it!

"Raven, I… like… this. Being with you. You've shown me a secret that I've never known you had. And every time I see you I just want…to…"

He took a deep dive.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

…

_Her smile—it seemed…sad._

…

~Secrets in my Heart~


	4. First Dates x Raven

_Dear Raven,_

_Hello! How are you? I certainly hope you haven't forgotten about me. It has been so long since we've last spoken, nearly a year and a half ago if I recall correctly. Even then, it was only for some tea. Raven, what has happened to you? I'm a year older than you, yet you act so much older than me—older than anyone I know our age. I remember a long time ago when you used to never want to stop playing Firecatchers with me. Now, you act so sophisticatedly. Please note the word "act." I can't help but smile every time you speak so maturely with the elders, since when you and I converse privately, I can sense your inner child, with the sparkling eyes and the endless smile. I guess being a Teen Titan and saving the world really changes you._

_Not much has changed in Azarath since you last visited (which I believe was last month). That is, except for one thing: I have recently completed my studies and have achieved the rank of Brother. That's right, I'm a Brother now! It's so strange being admitted even deeper into the temple and participating in the rituals. Strange—yet exhilarating. And yet, I still feel a little sad, for I cannot see your face in the temple. Remember our promise so long ago? That we would grow up together, become Brothers and Sisters, and maybe even Fathers and Ladies together? I understand the Teen Titans are very important to you, but I can't help but feel just a little saddened when all the Sisters dine with us and you are not there. O Azar! I'd better stop here or this might become a love letter!_

_How are the Titans doing? Good, I hope. Has Starfire tried the hair shining potion I'd sent? Have you had a chance to test the burn-healing potion? Please tell me if it works or not._

_I've missed conversing with you, Raven. Please come visit soon, and reply to this letter as soon as possible!_

_ —Brother Raphael_

Raven could feel small droplets of sweat form on her forehead as she fumbled with the top of the glass container. At long last she managed to take the top off, just as Robin began to cry out from the pain. "Let's hope this works," she mumbled as she poured the burn-healing potion onto Robin's severe burn on his shoulder. In seconds, she could see the burn sparkle slightly, then become gradually smaller and smaller. Within moments, all that was left of the burn was a small, nearly invisible red mark. Raven sighed out of relief, and she could hear Robin do the same. Quietly, she thanked Raphael.

The momentary peace was broken by a cry of pain. Raven gasped, then looked at Robin. No, his face was peaceful. If the cry had not come from him, then where did it come from? She heard it again—louder this time—and more painfully. It sounded almost like strangling.

Raven gasped. It was Beast Boy.

Faster than she knew possible, Raven flew up the building. The entire world around her—as well as her thoughts and feelings—were a blur as she flew towards the top. The only thing that mattered was saving Beast Boy from whatever was harming him. The only thing that mattered was saving that smile.

Raven heard some more strangling noises, as well as a small cackling. She could feel tears burning in her eyes. No! No! Faster!

Faster than light, she reached the top and tackled the woman. She knew the woman was immensely shocked from the sudden attack, and took advantage of it. She thrust her arms around the woman's midsection and threw her as far as possible. Raven then, concentrating her magic, lifted a quite large boulder—as they had reached the edge of the city and were nearing a rocky cliff—and flung it at the woman. The woman fell from the impact of the boulder onto very hard ground. She recuperated quickly, but was met with Raven who is now sitting on the woman. Raven lifted her right hand and, without thinking, created very sharp claws using her dark powers and quickly scratched the woman, leaving behind four very bloody lines across her face. The woman then turned and faced directly at Raven, eye-to-eye. Raven was about to strike another blow until something happened.

_Look at me_. She gasped. There it was. She could see it. Raven stared deep into the woman's eyes and saw it. The mark. It was extremely faint, barely even noticeable, but was strikingly sharp, like a tiny blood drop right in the center of her pupil.

The woman suddenly became very clear to her. During the entire fight, Raven felt something remarkably familiar about the woman. But only now did she fully realize who this strange woman was. It was Lady Dulcinea, one of the most powerful sorceresses in Azarath. As the Lady opened her smiling mouth, Raven could hear the Lady's voice as well as another, darker one, speaking simultaneously.

_It is inevitable. One day, you shall join us. You shall…succumb._

The Lady started to chuckle, then giggle, then cackle maniacally. Raven stared in horror as the Lady seemed to become madder and madder. Her bright white face was now seemingly dark in complexion. No—it didn't seem to be—it was! And her hair—the Lady's normally gorgeous, long black hair was slowly becoming ruffled and tangled. The Lady's clothes became dark and seemed to merge with her skin. Raven knew what was happening. As the Lady—no, the creature's laugh became louder, Raven drew a small dagger with a silver hilt engraved with runes and a golden blade from her belt. She closed her eyes, lifted the dagger high up, and plunged it into the creature's heart. Its cackle soon transitioned into a screech, then slowly a scream, one of agony, sorrow, and pain. It became louder and louder. Raven slowly removed the dagger from the Lady's heart, and let the Lady's body fall gently off the cliff. She closed her eyes and enchanted, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

Raven stood up and peacefully removed her hood, letting her hair touch the emerging sunrise. As she looked behind her, seeing her friends, she tried to hide the tears she shed for the lost Lady Dulcinea and said, "Come on, let's go home."

…

As the Titans entered their home, Raven swiftly went to her room. She could tell no one had noticed since she could still hear their voices, and none of them sounded at all curious.

Immediately upon entering her room, Raven grabbed a small quill pen and some parchment and wrote a letter to a certain Father Don Quixote of Azarath. She occasionally heard a few knocks, but promptly ignored them. This was far more important. When she finished writing, Raven folded the letter neatly and placed it in a drawer in her desk. She could hear a small _whoosh_ as the letter was sent to Azarath.

Raven sighed, pondering what to do. The sun was rising. A new day is dawning. She should sleep. But first, meditate.

Raven climbed onto her bed and felt her body rising as she chanted the three mystical words. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

…

"Here we are," the boy said. The girl stopped abruptly, and stared at the sign above the door. "Music Store," it read.

For some reason, she was a little disappointed. Maybe she expected him to take her to a…better place. Him inviting her to go somewhere alone was so…sudden, so spontaneous. "I guess," she thought. "He'd bring me someplace more memorable."

She quietly shrugged off the thought and tried to accept this place. It wasn't _too_ bad. It was far from decent though, she thought as she kicked aside an empty soda can.

Raven looked up. She expected Beast Boy to go to a section that she'd most expect him in—the rock section or pop section. Instead, he completely skipped over them. Slightly confused and wondering where he was going, she followed him. Rap? No he skipped that too. Country? R&B? No, those sections were given little to no interest by the strange changeling. The witch followed as the green boy maneuvered past everything that he could possibly listen to.

Finally, they had reached the back corner of the store—seemingly miles away from the front entrance. Raven searched for Beast Boy's face. He seemed to be looking for something. Silently, but curiously, Raven looked around. What section was this? There was no sign, no section label. An expert in reconnaissance, the dark witch examined the floor. It was completely void of trash, but was dusty. She examined the CD cases, which also contained a little dust on them. She deduced this section must have seen very few visitors. Quietly, she glanced through the names of the CDs. Doubtless to say, she was stunned at them.

_Le cygne, Le carnaval des animaux, The Very Best of Chopin, Eyes on Me, Swan Lake_. Is this…what Beast Boy listens to? She gazed at him as he was sitting on a nearby stool with large headphones covering the majority of his head. His beautiful eyes were closed and he was partly smiling. Oh, that smile.

Beast Boy listens to this music? Raven felt what was like a newfound respect—no, admiration—for Beast Boy. She placed down the cover of _First Love_ and slowly walked towards him like a princess walking towards her knight. The knight slowly opened his eyes and gazed at her, smiling. The princess couldn't help but smile back. Her eyes twinkled as the knight stepped up and beckoned her to sit on the stool he was previously occupying. The knight brought his lips near her ears and whispered with a golden tongue, "This is my favorite." He smiled as he lifted the headphones from him and gently placed them on his fair maiden's.

Raven placed the headphones on her ears, not knowing what to expect. She glanced at the CD case he was holding: _Lover's Tears._ She could faintly hear some piano music; it was slow, yet soothing. And a little sad. Then came the words, emerging from a voice as smooth as silk but as sweet as honey. Raven lost herself within the song as the words spoke to her and her alone. She could feel the world melting away, leaving behind nothing but her, Beast Boy, and those words like an angel's prayer.

"Does… it sound good?" He asked.

The girl smiled.

"Do you like it?" The boy asked.

The girl nodded, not wanting to break the silence in her mind.

And she was engulfed into the song.

_I know now that you're gone, I'll be alone._

_Alone with memories, my very own._

_Maybe someday you will return to me, my love._

_But through the lonely years,_

_I'll cry these lover's tears._

_I think of all the joy I used to know,_

_But now this happiness we share no more._

_I long for your embrace, your tender kiss—a moment of bliss._

_But for now I'll have to cry_

_These lover's tears._

_Come back to me once more my love_

_And please never leave me again._

_Until that day, I'll wait for you._

'_Til then my love, I know I'll never be the same._

_Wherever you may be, please hear this plea,_

_Come back and end these tears of misery._

_I long for your embrace, your tender kiss—a moment of bliss,_

_So through the lonely years_

_I'll cry these lover's tears._

_And until my love returns,_

_I'll cry these lover's tears._

…

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Raven gasped and immediately looked away, staring at the shore below. She was afraid this would happen. No, she should never have taken him here. She should never have gone to the music store with him. She should never have talked with him. She should never have opened that door. Wasn't seeing him smile good enough?

Wasn't that good enough anymore?

Raven sighed, and felt ice forming on her heart. She struggled to find words, but they were all scattered. She didn't know what to say. Raven felt the ice shards pricking her feverishly racing heart. She tried to calm down, breathing deep breaths, but to no avail. Something had to happen.

"Beast Boy," she started, holding back the tears. "There's just…some things about me that you don't know—that no one can ever know. And…" she looked deep into his eyes. She felt a small tear forming on the bottom of her eye. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that with you. I can't be with you. We can't be anything more than friends."

Raven felt her arms shake, and felt a rush of ice flow throughout her body. She could hear herself breathing frantically, and felt her heart pounding against her chest. She felt needles prick her fingers and felt her toes nearly shrivel up.

Raven couldn't look at Beast Boy. She couldn't bear seeing him sad.

"I'm so sorry," she sighed, as felt the teardrop fall of her eye and slide down her cheek, until it reached the very bottom of her chin and fell off just like Lady Dulcinea.

~Secrets in my Heart~


	5. Parties x Beast Boy

**So this chapter's twice as long as the ones before. Well, get used to it because the story's just starting to pick up! Side note: I originally intended for the banquet scene to be in this chapter, but since this one's a bit long and took me a while to write it, I'll just include it in the next one.**

* * *

><p>Life was normal once more for the green changeling. It seemed like everything had reverted back to what it once was. The Teen Titans were keeping the city under control as usual. Nothing abnormal seemed to have happened. And Raven—well, that was fine, too. After all, it truly was nothing but a simple little crush. A little attraction, that's all. Nothing he couldn't get over within a matter of days. At least now he could stop thinking about her. It's been a week since he had foolishly asked her to be his girlfriend, and in all that time, he wasn't bothered a single bit. He understood that she just wasn't attracted to him. And that was alright. It truly was.<p>

Beast Boy looked at the clock. 12:17. If he couldn't go to sleep now, he probably couldn't any time soon. What was keeping him up? He wondered a minute, then the answer hit him. Food. Of course! He deliberated. It was late, all the Titans were in their rooms, and there's plenty of food in the fridge. Nothing would stop him. The idea seemed good, and the changeling followed his well thought out plan. Quietly, Beast Boy snuck downstairs and slowly felt his way across the dark living room and towards the fridge. At last he felt his hands grasp the handles of triumph. His face lit up as he opened the door separating him from eternal glory. And there glory was—awaiting him in the form of delicious sustenance.

Beast Boy's ears twitched very slightly. What was that? Strange, he thought he had heard a small rumble, like something hitting the floor upstairs. He waiting for any noise, but none came. His imagination, he presumed. Beast Boy continued his quest for power as he reached out towards the edible goodness.

There! Beast Boy's hand flew out of the fridge. It was unmistakable this time. Having previously transformed into a variety of animals with keen senses, Beast Boy quickly deduced the noise was coming from upstairs, in either Starfire or Raven's room. Beast Boy thought about whether or not he should check up to see if something was wrong. He stood silently, thinking, but another _thud_ sent him upstairs.

He ran upstairs and down the hall. He first passed by Raven's room, and decided to check up on this one first. Quietly, Beast Boy pressed his ears against the door. Yes, it was coming from here. But it wasn't just thuds. There were other sounds, some sounded like voices, others like wind blowing. Whatever was happening in there, he didn't like it. He knew he had to stop it.

Beast Boy slid the door open and saw a horrifying sight. Books, papers, peeled off wallpaper, broken off shelves, everything was flying around the room like a tornado, and the sound of the rushing wind was deafening. Directly in the center of the tornado was Raven, sitting calmly with her eyes closed, seemingly meditating. He knew he had to save her, somehow. "Raven!" he shouted, hoping to somehow get her attention.

Suddenly, a wave of light engulfed everything, including Beast Boy. He lost all feeling, and felt a numbness flow through him. He was…floating. Floating in the air. The boy felt like he was flying. Like he was swimming in the air. Within seconds, he felt something hard begin to materialize on his back. The strange feeling became more and more real until suddenly the changeling was lying on his back on hard rock.

"Beast Boy!" he heard. "What…are you doing?" The voice was cloudy, but familiar. The boy jumped up and saw a very annoyed Raven staring right at him.

"Uh… heheh. Hi Raven," he stammered.

"What are you doing here?" demanded the girl. "What were you doing in my room?" Her annoyance was very clear.

"Heheh umm well… You see… I heard a noise coming from your room and I checked up on you that's all." His reply wasn't as convincing as he'd hoped. "I just wanted to know you were ok." He heard a sigh and saw the girl turn around, facing away from him. He felt disappointed. Did he say something wrong? It was only until he saw what she was looking at that he understood.

Directly in front of him was an enormity of buildings and castles, all glowing and glistening in the light. As far as the eye could see, buildings like skyscrapers and castles made for gods made his eyes sparkle. It looked like heaven.

"Where…are we?" he gasped.

"This…" the girl sighed, "is Azarath. This was my home."

"This… is Azarath?" Questions flooded into his head, but all were erased by the wonder the preoccupied his mind. This was Azarath? This must be Paradise.

"What you saw in my room," the girl started, "was a transportation spell. A spell to Azarath."

"But…why did you come here?"

"I left a note on the kitchen table saying I'd be visiting Azarath for one or two days. Didn't you see it?"

"Oh." He felt his cheeks get slightly red at his embarrassment. "So why are you here?"

She sighed. "It's hard to explain. One of my old teachers is becoming a Father and all of Azarath is celebrating."

"A father? Your entire world celebrates whenever someone gives birth?" He was severely confused.

"See? Like I said, it's hard to explain. Look it's a big deal, and I have to be there, ok?" She hesitated, as if she was thinking. Beast Boy glanced at her face. It was always hard to tell what Raven was thinking, but it seemed especially hard now. "But since you can't go back, I guess you'll have to come with me."

"To the party?" His face lit up at the possibility of partying.

"It's not a party, it's a banquet," Raven replied. "And no!" she added without hesitation. "Look, you'll have to stay at my friend's house for a couple hours. I'm sure she has enough food to keep you occupied until I get back. Ok?"

"Oh," he replied, disappointedly. Raven seemed to sense the disappointed tone, but ignored it. "Come on," she ordered as she strode towards the castles.

…

Raven was walking almost in circles. She made her way past alleyways, across streets, around buildings, and through underground roads as efficiently as she would in Titans Tower. Beast Boy was led by Raven through dizzying paths; he felt like he was in a maze that had no exit. It was even more dizzying because it seemed to be approximately midnight, and it was almost impossible to see 10 feet away from you. Numerous times Beast Boy lost Raven and eventually she had to grab and pull him by the arm.

After what seemed like hours of turning around corners, the pair finally reached a small (compared to the enormous buildings) house. Beast Boy looked around as Raven knocked on the door. There were many more houses about as small as this one. This must be a poorer area, he presumed. He heard a voice from inside the house, but was far too concerned observing the houses. They seemed to be like the ones on Earth, though much larger and grander. It compared to a two story mansion in Earth, with probably multiple rooms and walls like limestone. The door slid open, revealing a young girl slightly younger than Beast Boy and Raven with long black, smooth hair in a ponytail wearing a black and red frock.

"Hello ma'm. May I please ask for your name and reason for visiting?"

Raven replied, "I'm here to see Seraphina."

"I'm sorry, but Miss Seraphina is currently not available. Please come back tomorrow morning and I'm sure she'd—"

The girl gasped as Raven removed her hood. Beast Boy could see her face lit up and a smile appear.

"Raven!" The girl grabbed Raven's hands. "Oh how good it is to see you again! Oh we've missed you so. Please come in!"

Raven smiled. "I thought you said she was unavailable."

"Oh shut up!"

"How have you been Jane? How are your studies?"

"Oh I'm fine, and I'm working very hard on my studies. Miss Seraphina has been tutoring me at home in order for me to learn even faster. How about you? Oh! And who is this?" The girl noticed Beast Boy for the first time.

"This is Beast Boy. He's a friend of mine. He's a Titan."

The girl turned towards Beast Boy and gasped in awe. "You are a Teen Titan? How amazing!"

Raven smiled then whispered to Beast Boy, "Just so you know, Jane loves it when I tell her stories about us. She probably sees you like a celebrity or something."

The boy smirked. "So I'm popular here huh? I guess you'd like my autograph?" he said smiling.

The girl stood puzzled. "An… autograph?"

Beast Boy stopped. Clearly things were different here than on Earth. "Umm never mind." He extended a hand. "I'm Beast Boy."

The girl happily shook the changeling's hand. "Jane," she replied. "Beast Boy. Hmm. If I recall correctly, you are the one that shape shifts, right?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Oh how fabulous. Raven, you must tell me how you are doing."

"Later, Jane. Right now I need to speak with Seraphina immediately. I'm kind of in a hurry. We'll talk after the banquet, ok?"

The girl blushed. "Oh I'm terribly sorry. It is not my place to keep you two waiting like this. I'll call Miss Seraphina right away. The girl left silently.

Within moments, a short, stout woman probably around her 50s with a large smile on her face came rushing out. "Raven!" she exclaimed.

Raven, in turn, rushed towards the lady and hugged her tightly. "Oh Seraphina!" Beast Boy was utterly shocked at this sight. He had never seen Raven act like this before, so happy, so bright. Perhaps she acts this way because she was much more familiar with the people here Azarath. Still, it felt strange.

Beast Boy sat silently on a couch while the girl and the woman busily talked about numerous subjects he couldn't understand. After a few minutes, Raven left and Beast Boy was left alone with the strange woman he didn't know. The woman looked up at him and smiled. "Beast Boy, is that correct?"

"Yes ma'm."

"Beast Boy, would you like some tea?"

"Uh, no thank you. I'm not that thirsty."

"Well, it'll be a few hours until Raven would be back from the banquet so make yourself comfortable."

He sat still and tried to occupy himself with something. Eventually he grew tremendously bored and decided to talk to the woman instead.

"So Miss Seraphina," he started.

"Yes darling?" The kind woman seemed genuinely interested in starting a conversation with him.

"Could you tell me more about this banquet thing? I'm not from Azarath and I really don't know what's going on."

"Oh! Well, let's see." The woman cleared her throat.

"The world of Azarath is divided into 13 sectors. This here is sector 9. Each sector contains a temple, in which people come to practice and enhance their magic. All the temples look different. Some are luxuriously grand. Others are very simple. But they are share the common function."

"Does that mean that they're poor?" The boy asked. "Are sectors with smaller buildings poorer than the others?"

"Why no. You see, each sector is different from the others and are as important as the others. Sectors with smaller buildings have much more nature than the other, industrialized sectors. Plants from our sectors are needed by the others for food, herbs, potions, and so on. Therefore, the wondrous castles of Sector 1 are no more important than the small farms of Sector 13.

"Now, where was I? Oh, yes. The temples are for people to come to practice their magic. While most people who come to the temples are merely common folk, many are Scholars, that is, those who study the art of sorcery. Scholars come to learn and pray at the temples. However, they are no higher in rank than common folk. Eventually, after receiving an immense amount of knowledge, scholars attain the rank of Brother or Sister, and therefore becoming a monk. Monks live inside the temples and spend almost the entire day inside the temples. Brothers and Sisters can also study even more and, after learning who-knows-how-much knowledge, a Brother or Sister can attain the holy rank of Father or Lady, monks who dedicate their entire lives to serving their temples and Azarath. Since the amount of knowledge and study required to become a Father or Lady is so vast and immense, there are only 13 in all, one for each temple of Azarath. Let's see, there should currently be 7 Fathers and 5 Ladies. Yes, that's right. And within a few hours, a Brother Therien from Sector 4 shall become the 8th Father."

The woman seemed weary from explaining all that. "Now do you see why it's such a big deal?"

Beast Boy nodded slowly. He thought he understood. "But wait, why is there a new what? Did one of the Fathers or Ladies quit or something?"

"Why, no. Fatherhood and Ladyship is a lifetime position. Approximately a month ago, Lady Dulcinea from Sector 8 mysteriously disappeared. And since Fatherhood and Ladyship is a lifetime position, and there cannot be more than 13, we couldn't give the rank to someone until we were certain that the Lady would not return. Only a few days ago did we receive word that the Lady was dead." Seraphina sighed heavily. "What a pity. She was such a noble Lady. Beautiful too, I might add."

A brief moment of silence followed. Beast Boy was lost in thought, and perhaps Seraphina was, too. The woman was looking at the changeling, as if she was reading his mind. "You want to see her, don't you?" she asked.

"What?" replied a startled Beast Boy.

"You want to see her," the woman stated calmly. "You want to talk with her. You want to be with her. Don't you?"

"What… makes you say that?"

The woman smiled. "I know these things," she answered. "What if I told you that I could get you into the banquet?"

"What?" came the reply.

"Why you do like that word don't you? Well listen here. Everyone in Azarath is invited to the banquet, but only some in the farther sectors can actually find transportation there. I know how to get there. Now, Jane has wanted to go see the Capital, Sector 1, for as long as I've known her. She's served me for so long and I'm so grateful for her, she might as well enjoy one night. I'll send her to the Capital, she'll say she's representing me, and she'll bring you as a guest. Now doesn't _that_ sound marvelous?" The woman was now smiling from ear to ear. "What do you think?" Beast Boy couldn't help but smile, too. He would do a favor to Jane. And he'd only be in Azarath once. Might as well see more of it. And Raven…

"I think," he answered. "I think you've got yourself a deal."

"Oh splendid! I'll tell Jane the exciting news immediately. Oh Jane! Do come here a second. Oh, but before you do, can you see if you can find Hareton's old suit? You'll fit perfectly in my son's suit, Beast Boy. Here, have some more tea."

…

Beast Boy breathed in and let the air flow out of his mouth slowly. He reached into his pocket and pulled at a pocket watch. With some difficulty, as he was not accustomed to Azarathean technology, he managed to open the watch. A dark golden hologram appeared, displaying numbers foreign to the green boy. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to adjust the watch, which he did, also with some difficulty. It switched to analog mode, which thankfully worked in the same fashion as on Earth. 1:43. The banquet would begin soon.

Beast Boy tried to collect his thoughts. Jane was still trying to prove that she was, indeed, a servant of Seraphina and was allowed to be admitted in place of her master. He looked around him. Everywhere, strange people wearing strange clothes began flocking towards the castle. Some people were wearing robes, others wore cloaks. Some wore formal 19th century-like outfits Beast Boy had only seen in history books. While the men wore comparatively plain clothes, the women's ranged from semi-plain frocks to lavishly and intricately decorated gowns. Their gowns were strange indeed; they were reminiscent of Earthly gowns from many centuries ago, yet seemed almost nothing like it at the same time. Words simply cannot describe it.

Beast Boy looked down onto his own body. Compared to the other men, he was no jewel, but he certainly would stand out in a crowd. He wore a black tunic with a standing collar buttoned down from top-to-bottom and accented with a gold trim and dark green cuffs. Intricate golden patterns are seen on the tunic. His pants are straight leg and tucked into black knee-high boots. A black belt is worn with the tunic and a jade green and silver belt-like strap is adorned from the top of his left shoulder across the chest to the top of his right leg. On his shoulders are golden tasseled pauldrons, which connect to a flowing dark green cloak. The clothes felt a little heavy, but strangely comfortable. Undeniably soft, too, like silk, yet strong like leather. Nothing on Earth could compare with such a fabric. When first trying on the suit in Seraphina's mansion, even Beast Boy himself thought he looked like a completely different person.

Beast Boy now occupied himself with examining the castle before him. Its size and enormity shall not be noted, as no words could possibly describe its immense massiveness. The castle's walls were made of a strange material; shimmering like gold, yet strong like iron. The grand doors decorated with golden engravings of an eagle, a wolf, a bear, and a dove, were extremely large to the point where it seemed 10 strong men could not move them.

"Ready?" Beast Boy spun around. Jane was there, with her black hair up in a bun, and wearing a long silver silk dress under a long black cloak. On the back of her cloak wear intricate white patterns resembling angelic wings. Around her neck was a silver heart pendant.

Beast Boy smiled. "Ready." He then turned around, extended his arm towards Jane, who grasped it gently, and led her towards the opening doors.

And oh how heavenly the front room was! It was like nothing Beast Boy had ever seen before. Golden tiles and walls glistened in the chandeliers, which spread a golden radiance all throughout the room. At the far right and left of the room were magnificent sculptures, comprised of a glorious griffin, a beautiful siren, a graceful phoenix, and a ferocious wyvern, each bowing down towards the guests. The sound of mellifluous music could be heard, loud enough to be audible and enjoyable, yet faint enough so the guests may be able to whisper to each other. At Beast Boy's and Jane's feet was a long red part with golden tassels at the sides, which led towards a grand stairway, which stood at the middle end of the room. At each end of the base of the stairway was a golden snarling lion. These were far more realistic than the sculptures, and to this day, Beast Boy never knew whether or not those lions were actually alive. He'd sworn he'd seen one blink, though. The staircase was rather short, and came to a fork at the wall, with one staircase hugging the wall and heading upstairs left, and the other head upstairs right. Right at the center, at the end of the first stairs and in the middle of the fork between the other two lay an imposing grandfather clock, which was being examined by a woman in a white dress. Of course, this is a very brief description of the room, since this only records what Beast Boy had seen. There were countless details within that room that he had missed, mostly because of the number of people in it, and there were countless other rooms within that castle that he had never been in, with countless details within those rooms that he had missed, and there were countless other castles within Azarath that he had never seen, with countless rooms that he had never been in, with countless details that he had missed.

One thing he hoped he wouldn't miss, however, was Raven. Desperately he searched for her. Where was she? Where is she? There! That's her. No, that wasn't. He then saw a girl with short violet hair. No, her skin color was too dark, and her face was different.

"Beast Boy?" His heart leaped. "It's amazing in here, isn't it? I'm speechless."

It was just Jane. His heart sank back. Raven must be in here somewhere. Perhaps she was in another room. He'd see her then. Even if he couldn't find her now, he'd see her in the banquet.

And then he saw her. A woman in a bright white gown with golden patterns crept down the right stairs. She was Raven for sure. Her face was identical to Raven's. Her hair was identical. Except it was longer. Too long. And the face, it was too thin. No, that wasn't Raven. It wasn't. He sighed a great sigh. He watched as the woman began speaking with the woman who was examining the grandfather clock.

As the woman by the clock turned towards the woman resembling Raven, Beast Boy could notice some of her features. She, too, had blue-violet hair, but it was up in a bun, with a few strands of hair daintily hanging over the side of her face, with a white diamond tiara on her head. She wore a white, strapless gown cut in the front to reveal her thighs with a short train behind her. The dress has white feather ornamentation on the front hem and a pair of small feathered wings attached to a small bouquet of roses on the back. She also wears white gloves, high-heeled boots, and a silver necklace. Sky blue designs similar to the golden ones on the other woman's cover nearly her entire gown. Her face was smooth and white, but not pale, with a little color in them. Her lips were gentle and soft, her nose small and dainty, and her eyes like two pools of vast endlessness, two pure blue diamonds, as if he could dive into them and see everything she sees, and feel everything she feels. The wonderful sensation flowing through his mind and connecting him with her seemed familiar. As if he had seen them before in a dream. Just like when he was talking with…Raven. Raven? Could it be?

As the beautiful maiden slowly turned her head and her eyes met his, as both were connected by a spark that melted the entire world, as everything else in the room faded and disappeared, as the two people stared into each other across the room, he knew there was no denying it. This was Raven.

Beast Boy left Jane and slowly wandered towards the stairs. Smiling, he saw Raven slowly traverse down the stairs. As they came together, he thought of nothing else to do but reach out for her hand and silently bow down, gently placing his lips on her hands. As he lifted his head, he could see her smiling.

_Her smile—it seemed…sad._

"Beast Boy, what are you doing here?" The gentle voice asked. He didn't answer. Jane had caught up and was already explaining everything. The entire time, Beast Boy couldn't help but stare at the lovely woman in front of him. She certainly was beautiful. Certainly unrecognizable. And yet, it seemed perfect that way.

"Oh! The ceremony is about to start! I'll have to go. Sit with me during the banquet, Jane. Sit with me, Beast Boy, ok?"

… "Sit with me, Beast Boy, ok?" …

The ceremony began at precisely 3:00. Upon the first _dong_ of the bell tower on the roof, the entirety of the monks chanted, "Azarath." Upon the second _dong_, "Metrion." And finally on the third, "Zinthos." Following that were several rites that were far too long, drawn out, and quite uninteresting. Jane tried to ease his boredom by showing him where the Fathers and Ladies were, where the Brothers and Sisters sat, as well as other important people. She showed him High Lady Azar, the leader of Azarath, as well as Lady Arella, Raven's mother whom he had mistaken as Raven earlier. Beast Boy's eyes were fidgety; they wouldn't settle for one site. They bounced all over the room, but always stopped for some quick glances towards Raven, who sat near the Fathers and Ladies. How different she looked! How beautiful she was!

After the ceremony was complete, the Fathers, Ladies, and Raven stood and exited into another room. "Where are they going?" Beast Boy asked.

"The Fathers and Ladies are going into the holy room of the Temple within this castle to pray for the new Father Therien."

"Then… what is Raven doing?"

"Umm…praying for the new Father Therien like I said."

"But I thought you said only Fathers and Ladies were going."

"Yes I did."

"Then why is Raven going?"

"Do you seriously not understand? The Fathers and Ladies are—oh! Did Raven not tell you? She told you didn't she? Well I suppose she wouldn't after all."

"What? Tell me what?"

"Raven is a Lady."

"…What?"

"Raven is a Lady. Youngest one there ever was. She was secretly taught at a very young age and was tutored by Lady Arella, her own mother. Raven became a Sister by age 10 and a Lady by age 14. This was all very secretive and few people know about it. But it was made publicly known after she left Azarath and joined the Teen Titans."

"But isn't Ladyship a lifetime position?"

"Yes it is. There are…exceptions. In Raven's case, I do not know, but it is possible to 'retire' the position. However, she still retains all the rights and privileges of a Lady."

Beast Boy sat quietly. "Raven's…a Lady?"

What other secrets lie inside those endless pools in Ravens?

…

Beast Boy followed Raven to the room she had went in. It was a very secret and heavily guarded room, it appeared. There were many soldiers guarding the hall and entrance to the room, but they quietly entered the room after a few moments, giving enough time for Beast Boy to tiptoe towards the door. He silently cracked open the door and peered inside.

The room was somewhat small and looked like a small chapel. There were twenty or so people seated in the pews, some Beast Boy recognized as one of the Brothers and Sisters. Others he had never seen before. At the front of the chapel was an elderly Father reciting something from a large book. In front of the Father was Raven and Seymour, looking directly at each other. Upon further inspection, Beast Boy could see that Seymour had a small smile engraved on his stony face while Raven bore a small grim frown. Curious, he opened the door wider and tried to listen in on what was happening. The Father, however, was speaking too softly, and the changeling could only make out small pieces of the sentences.

"…in the name of High Lady Azar…of peace and glory…Seymour, take this…do you accept…until the end of this life and…the bride."

Seymour's crack of a smile grew bigger as he firmly grabbed Raven's shoulders, brought her closer to him and forced her lips upon his.

What? What was…? This was…? A wedding! Without thinking, the shocked boy burst in. "Raven!" he cried.

…

Beast Boy felt a tear slide down his shivering face and drop onto Raven's bloody cheek. "Why did you have to come back?" he asked. "Why? You should have stayed in Azarath. You should have stayed where you were happy!"

Raven opened her lips, and struggled to get out the words. "No, this is where I'm happy. Here on Earth with my friends. Here on Earth…with you."

A silence followed, broken only by the faint _pitter patter_ of the rain. "But who knows?" she replied. "Maybe someday I will go back. Maybe someday I'll never return to Earth. And never see you again. And maybe then, you'll cherish the memories we had together."

Beast Boy fought back the tears, but they were pouring out. He then stood up and dragged Raven up with much difficulty. "Hop on," he said as he pulled Raven onto his back.

"Where are we going?" she whispered.

"Somewhere to cherish the memories we have together."

As Beast Boy carried the semiconscious Raven on his back, he considered shifting into a horse. He decided against it, however. He liked it just the way it was, human to human. Besides, she wasn't heavy and the distance wasn't long. It was too short, in fact. And as he carried her, he knew she was comfortable by the sound of her soft breathing.

~Secrets in my Heart~


	6. Parties x Raven

_Dear Seraphina,_

_I would like to thank you again for letting me stay at your house last time. You have sent me quite a list of questions (you and Brother Raphael are so much alike). I shall now answer them as best as I can._

_1. Yes I have received them and they are delicious. The other Titans love them as well._

_2. No I don't believe he has, I'll have to ask him later. Now that I think about it, maybe Robin does need one._

_3. No._

_4. Yes, it is good. No recent amounts of criminal activity lately._

_5. Yes, she has._

_6. Has she? I'll have to come back for a brief visit right away!_

_7. Yes._

_8. Yes._

_9. No._

_10. Please tell Hareton I said congratulations! Next time I visit I must certainly give him a present! I know exactly what to give him, too._

_11. I'm sorry, I don't know._

_12. I think so. I cannot think of a reason why he shouldn't._

_13. I'd rather not answer this question in a letter that could be easily captured. I shall tell you in person later._

_14. Thank you, and tell Jane I wish her well._

_With all due respect,_

_Raven_

"Raven, it's time," said her mother.

"Yes, Mother," she obediently replied. She felt her heart leap just a little. It has been such a long time since she'd seen Brother Therien. It has been such a long time since she'd seen most of the people in the castle. It has been such a long time since she'd seen the castle itself. Sector 1 seemed much more beautiful than when she'd last seen it over a year ago. It seemed like so long. What else had she forgotten? One thing was the Azarathean air. Something about the air here made her face burst with color, her heart leap with excitement, and her eyes sparkle. There's truly no place like home.

She slowly turned away from the grandfather clock she was observing and towards the entrance and glanced at all the incoming guests. Many faces she had never seen before. Many she had. Many she instantly recognized. Many only vaguely. Yet they all felt right, like she should see these faces every day of her life. Even though she never knew them, she felt like she should have. They were her people; she belonged with them. Once upon a time, at least.

Her eyes jumped from one person to the next. Each one, she thought, had their own stories, their own lives, their own futures. But hers… Her hand brushed the side of her silky white gown and felt her heart pound for a second.. She was doomed. But it was for the best. She could risk putting her people in this kind of danger. It was the only way.

Raven felt like a princess, but not the good kind. She didn't feel like the kind who was slowly dancing with her prince; she felt like the kind that was being locked in a tower guarded by a dragon, awaiting her prince. Raven set her eyes on the various statues. Guards, she thought, to bar her from anyone trying to rescue her. The clock behind her was ticking and ticking, counting how long it would take until her prince would come. She placed her eyes on a young man close to the entrance. Here he was, the prince. She saw him lay his eyes on her. Yes, she called in her mind. It is I! Save me my dear, dear prince. And take me far away to a kingdom most beautiful, with no worries or fears or danger. Nothing but happiness. I am coming, my love, he answered. You are my light and my love. I shall rescue you from your pain no matter what the cost. Raven could see his mouth drop slightly and his eyes twinkle just a bit. She also thought his green suit seemed to shine a little and his green skin looked like they—green skin? Raven's eyes furrowed and her jaw dropped in amazement. No, it can't be. He's at Seraphina's house. How could he be… Alas! When she gazed into his face and saw that unmistakable smile, she knew. Beast Boy was the prince, coming to save her. He was…

Raven's mind flashed back to the present. "Congratulations, Father Therien," she said as she clutched her hands together like she was praying and bowed, the common gesture of respect in Azarath. "I hope you shall lead a life of eternal happiness, holiness, and nobility."

"Thank you, Raven," the new Father replied.

She moved on. Raven left the room and wove her way through the corridors to another door. She looked around to make sure no one was there and swiftly entered. A figure was standing inside the room. "Hello, Raven. Long time no see," he said as he turned around.

"Hello, Raphael. I've missed you."

…

"And do you? Do you truly?" asked Raphael as he sipped his tea.

Raven placed her cup down quietly. "I—I'm afraid so. I just—I've tried so hard to resist him. I've meditated for so long every single day trying to rid myself of it. But to no avail. He's already infected me with the germ that will eventually spread to my entire body. He's already placed it into my heart, and even days of meditation won't remove it."

"Germ! Surely not! Maybe it's for the best. Maybe you just have to listen to your heart. Is that so bad, Raven?"

"Raphael, you know just as much as I do that I can't let that happen. It's too big of a risk."

He sighed. "Raven, dearest Raven." He reached out and held her hand tenderly. "Sometimes you just have to let these things happen and enjoy it. Believe that everything will happen well. Believe. Trust him. Trust yourself."

She sighed a heavy sigh. "I'm not sure if I can trust myself, Raphael. But I can't stop it."

She looked out a window onto the moon filled sky. "He made me love him."

…

Raven placed one foot in front of the other. Weaving her way past the tables, she eventually reached the one where the little green head lay. She smiled as she saw him look around, presumably looking for him. Quietly and slowly, the princess walked forward and gently placed her hand on the prince's broad shoulders. He quickly looked up at the princess and his face lit up. That beautiful smile came back as he whispered. "You look beautiful, _Lady_ Raven."

Shocked, the princess gasped ever so slightly, but then calmly sat down and smiled. He knew, and that was ok. Maybe it was better that way. "As do you," she replied. "And you too, Jane. You look stunning."

The girl blushed. "Why thank you, Raven."

"Care to introduce me to your friends, Raven?" she heard a stone-like voice ask. She closed her eyes, dearly wishing it was only her imagination, a wish that was broken when she felt the wind of his breath against her neck. She forced a smile and turned towards her visitor.

He was a large statue of a man, a head taller than almost every person here, with short blue hair. He wore a robe-like suit with colors like marble which, combined with his pale beige colored skin, made him look like a large marble pillar. His lips were smiling like he was a child staring at a brand new toy, and his eyes were like cold hard blue gems that shimmered like the sea. Most noticeable was his voice—sweetly elegant like a violin yet firm like a deep cello.

"This is Jane, my friend's servant, who is coming here on her behalf, and this is Beast Boy. He's…my friend from Earth." Raven cleared her throat. "Jane, Beast Boy, this…is Seymour."

The towering Seymour smiled. "Pleased to meet you both."

"Uhh… same," replied the curious changeling. Raven winced ever so slightly. She could tell he was very uncomfortable. As Seymour sat next to Raven, she quietly prayed that this banquet would go well. She was a little relieved as she saw some others, including her mother, sit down at their table. She waited for the feast to begin, as to break the silence that ensued at their table.

"So Seymour," she began. "Beast Boy is a member of that team that I'm in on Earth, the Teen Titans. He's a superhero. Together we've saved the world a number of times." Yes, that seemed like a good conversation starter. If only Seymour and Beast Boy would go along with it.

"Why, very interesting. Very interesting indeed. Tell me, Beast Boy, what can you do to contribute to your team?"

"Ahh, well…I'm a shape shifter. I can change myself into any animal I can think of. It comes in handy a lot of ways, I guess."

"Hmm, good. But now I must ask you: is your shifting ability purely limited to animals? You cannot shift into plants or even take the forms of other humans?"

"No, sir."

"Hmm, pity." He was obviously disappointed by this answer.

"Well uh, what do you do, Seymour? Y'know, what's your job?" Beast Boy stammered, trying to start another topic.

The pillar of a man seemed pleased to receive attention. "I," he began, "am a professor and practitioner of magic. I research and learn about the different types of magic and their effects. It is quite a dangerous position, but a noble one. Few have the courage—or the knowledge—to do what I do."

"Oh that seems very...nice," came the feeble reply.

"Nice? Nice! My work has influenced the world and caused it to be the wondrous paradise it is now and all you can say is that it is nice?"

"Seymour, please," interrupted Raven. "He's not from here, he doesn't know—"

"My work has helped create this castle. My work is the reason you're here and all—"

A ringing like a very large bell sounded, silencing the man. Raven turned towards the stage to see High Lady Azar standing in her angelic white robe. "Welcome, everyone. Let us all feast in celebration of the coronation of Father Therien!"

Applause and the sound of music followed. Soon, the feast was being served. Servants became from nowhere delivering food to the guests. Raven smiled at the sight of some. It has been a long while since she had tasted Azarathean food. Raven closed her eyes and let the night unfold.

…

"The farmers in Sector 11 have been sending requests to protect their crops from some animals running amok."

"My cousin told me that the Grand Bank has some spies in it."

"Preposterous! That's a complete lie!"

"My niece's teacher, Brother Darnay, has disappeared. Do you think it's…"

"Oh dear, I shall have to add him to the list."

"How many is that? The second this month?"

"A couple wolves had run loose in Sector 9. Laguna here and I had to go there to contain them."

"Oh, and while we were there I met this beautiful songstress, Julia Heartilly. She has such an angelic voice that I brought her here to Sector 1. I think she has the potential to be very famous."

"Did you hear that Blanche Ingram from Sector 6 is betrothed to Professor Rochester?"

"Really? I heard he was fancying that Jane girl from Sector 5."

"Professor Banner in Sector 2 is asking for some potions from the outskirts. Do you think we should?"

"Yes, he seems very close to that strength enhancer formula."

"I say we do it."

"Oh, I've just remembered: the children at the recreational center in Sector 3 wish for us to sponsor a dance that they're having."

"Dance? Sure."

"The problem is it's not a traditional dance. It's much…faster. _Much_ faster."

"What? How old are they?"

"Approximately Raven's age."

"Well, Asleigh, I'd hardly consider them as _children_."

"My point is, the dance is very fast and upbeat. I'm afraid it is also very dangerous."

"Oh yes, I know what you are talking about. Very, very dreadful and despicable. Extremely dangerous, no doubt. It is incredibly easy to slip and crack one's neck. Need we be reminded what happened four years ago in Sector 10?"

Indeed, Raven remembered, a dance in Sector 10 four years ago ended in the accidental death of a very bright girl, who had a lot of potential to be a Sister.

"Yes, of course it is, Seymour. The request shall be denied. Everyone agree?"

"I."

"I."

Seymour smiled at his "accomplishment," or so he considers it. His smile grew larger as he decided to humiliate a certain green changeling. "What do you think, Beast Boy?"

Raven's eyes widened with shock. Oh no, she thought. Oh no oh no, Beast Boy. Please, _please_ don't screw yourself, please don't! An unsavory "Huh?" from a mouth filled with fruit didn't bring any relief.

Seymour chuckled, ready to laugh at the changeling's coming abject humiliation. "Do you think we should approve of a tomfoolery like dance in Sector 3 for a group of rowdy teenagers?"

"Uhh… well sure. I don't see why not."

A cynical laugh followed. "Don't see why not?"

"I mean, it sounds fun."

Oh man, Raven thought. Please, Seymour, just stop.

"Ha, fun? It's absolutely barbaric and not to mention dangerous. Imagine what would happen if someone accidentally died? I do not know what happens on Earth, Beast Boy, but here, we believe that there are just far too many risks to have a little 'fun'." Seymour proudly sipped his drink and placed it down. "Life isn't a gamble, boy."

Please, Beast Boy. Just stop now. Just stop. But he didn't.

"Seymour, I don't know what you guys think here in Azarath, but on Earth, I was taught a little differently. I was taught to always hope for best and take chances. I was taught to take a leap of faith and live life to the fullest. I know life isn't a gamble, but life is nothing without risks. Sure, we risk ourselves, and maybe even our lives, but if we never enjoyed life, what was there to lose?"

He glanced at Raven, and she saw what seemed to be a small smile on his face.

"Sometimes, you know, you just have to let go. Let go of all dangers, risks, and fears. Let go of what ifs and thoughts of danger. Sometimes, we just need to take a leap of faith and enjoy it. And trust me—it's one of the best feelings in the world, like you're flying. Just take chances—just let go—and live."

Silence followed, until Mother exclaimed, "Very, very well said, Beast Boy." All others merrily agreed. Seymour did so grudgingly.

"Sometimes, you just need to let go—take a leap of faith—and fly." Beast Boy's words never left Raven.

…

The rest of the banquet and the discussion at Raven's table, though very interesting, does not relate to this tale and therefore does not need to be written here. We shall then skip forward approximately 45 minutes ahead in time, after the luscious, exotic fruit, savory, deliciously cooked meat, and heavenly, mouthwatering desert is served.

…

Raven leaned against the balcony under the stars above. She sighed. This was the only thing that connected Azarath to Earth. No matter what world she was in, she'd always be staring at the same stars. These stars and she were the only things connecting the two worlds. Unlike on Earth, however, these stars were much brighter and much clearer. The princess closed her eyes and smiled as a gentle breeze brushed against her face. Her smile grew as she heard the sound of a prince approaching her.

"That was amazing—what you said."

"Oh," he smiled. "That—that was nothing."

"Don't lie." She turned around and faced him. "That was—really something." She smiled at the ground, almost flirtingly. Almost. "Did you just come up with all of that just then?"

"No. Everything I said back there, it was true."

"Oh." She looked back at the scenery behind her, now staring at the sea a few miles from the castle.

The boy walked up next to her. "Raven, why did you come to Earth?"

"What?" exclaimed a startled Raven.

"You know, why did you leave Azarath?"

"What—what makes you ask that?"

Beast Boy, he seemed a little saddened. "Raven, I've seen the way you look around here. I see how much you've changed ever since you came back here. You love it here, so much more than Earth, I know. You—you belong here. So why did you leave?"

Raven frowned. Should she tell her? No. It's one of those secrets no one can know. "I'm sorry, but…it's just one of those things that—"

"—that you don't want to tell me, gotcha. Look, I understand. But I can't shake off the feeling that you'd be happier here, y'know?"

The sadness in his voice began to scare her.

"Beast Boy," she began. "I—"

She was interrupted by a stony voice. "Raven, it's time." The voice left her, but she knew who it came from. Not now, she thought.

…

The chapel was small, approximately the size of a large kitchen, and was rectangular, with the altar at one end with a few rows of pews facing the altar. The room was rather plain, with no windows (as it was underground), beige walls, and dull brown furniture. Was this room suitable for a wedding? Raven surely thought not. What time was it? Almost dawn, probably. Raven wasn't sleepy; she was well rested for this night, which she had prepared since she arranged the marriage. And yet, deep down she knew she did not want to do this. Not now. She stared at her soon to be groom with contempt. His ice sculpture of a face had a wide crack near the bottom from ear to ear. Looks like one person would walk out of this room happy. No, she must be happy. She must do this, for the safety of Azarath. And the safety of Earth.

"Ah, our guests," her betrothed whispered. Raven sighed. She knew what he meant by "guests." As the "guests" came in, she stood amazed at how many people came.

"_This_ many?" she whispered. "There must be at least twenty." She expected four or five at most. She gasped. "Mother?" she mouthed at a desolate Arella, who nodded a dismal nod.

…

The wedding proceeded. And finished. As Seymour came in and pressed his lips against hers, Raven couldn't help but clench her fist as hard as she could. His lips were like stone.

"Raven!" came a cry. Quickly, Raven and everyone else turned towards the entrance. There, she was shocked to discover, stood a frantic-looking Beast Boy. No, Raven thought. Please, Beast Boy, go! A nod from Seymour prompted the guards to seize the changeling.

Seymour then turned his attention to his new bride. The bride did the same to the groom.

"It is finished," he smiled. Turning towards the guards, Seymour sharply commanded, "Kill them."

In a movement so quick, each guard stepped up and placed a short rapier around each "guest's" neck.

"No!" cried a stunned Raven. She grabbed Seymour's arm. "You said you had the cure!" she hissed.

"This is the cure," he calmly replied. "This is the only way we can rid ourselves of the danger they possess."

"By killing them yourself? Many of these people are important to Azarath. My mother is a Lady!"

"Then it looks like another Sister shall be ordained soon." Raven could see the evil glare in his eyes.

"Kill them now," he ordered.

"No!" With a sharp wave of her arm, Raven stopped the guards' movements as they were bound in a dark force. "Go!" she cried to the "guests."

As the people scrambled out of the room, Beast Boy transformed into a bear. He swiftly tackled all the guards as Raven tried to fend off the guards who were coming in.

Raven began analyzing the battle. She was in Azarath, so her powers were greatly increased. Seymour is also very competent in magic, quite nearly as strong as Raven. There were many guards coming in, and there is no chance of Beast Boy or her escaping unless Beast Boy managed to tackle through the swarm of guards. And Beast Boy, well she knew he could take care of himself.

Raven chanted, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinth—"

Raven cried out in pain as she saw a short black spear like arrow sticking out of her arm. Quickly, she pulled it out and saw black wisps of smoke escape from her injury. Oh no, she thought. The guards coming in were not equipped with swords as she had assumed, but with crossfires—crossbow like Azarathean weapons that fired magical arrows. Crossfires were very deadly, not strong enough to kill a Lady like herself, but enough to severely weaken her. They possibly could kill Beast Boy, though.

As another arrow zoomed past her head, she knew this was a battle she and Beast Boy could not win. "Beast Boy!" she cried. "Flee/ambush formation!"

The green bear nodded and rapidly changed into a cheetah. Raven quickly somersaulted into the air and landed expertly on the cheetah's back. The green animal speedily charged through the swarm of guards, dodging the flying arrows. Concentrating her magic, Raven constructed a shield like structure to block the arrows. With some difficulty, the duo managed to cut through the crowd of guards.

As Raven directed where to go, Beast Boy sprinted out of the castle and flew (in the form of a pterodactyl) towards the edge of Azarath. As they landed at the rocky desert-like edge, an exhausted Beast Boy reverted to human form and Raven contemplated what to do.

"What," he gasped. "What was that?"

"Nothing," she replied. "It was nothing, ok?"

"Nothing? You—you were marrying the guy and you're gonna tell me it's nothing?"

"Beast Boy—"

"No, you tell me the truth right now. Just tell me. What's going on?"

She sighed. "It—he promised me something, ok? Let's just say it was a bargain—and I got cheated."

"Raven…" he whispered.

"It wasn't very nice of you to run off like that, Raven."

Raven and Beast turned to see a smiling Seymour in front of dozens of guards aiming crossfires directly at them.

Raven hurriedly muttered an incantation and felt a portal open behind her. An arrow then flew right past her head as a warning.

"Now I'll just make this very short and simple, Raven. Come with me and be my bride, and one day we shall rule Azarath with that boy being our servants or die. Your choice."

Raven glared at him. What to do? What to _do_?

"Raven," Beast Boy said. "Just… stay here."

"What?" Raven turned in shock.

"Raven, it's like I said before. You… you belong here, in Azarath. Look, I'll be ok, just stay here and be happy."  
>"Beast Boy…"<p>

"Raven, please."

"The boy's right."

Raven stared at the ground. Then she looked at him almost complacently. He smiled.

That smile… it was good enough, wasn't it.

"Beast Boy," she whispered. "Get in the portal."

"What?"

"Get in, NOW!"

She heard an arrow shoot. With a quick movement, she dove in front of Beast Boy and took the arrow to her thigh.

"Raven!"

"Beast Boy, go!"  
>More arrows fired, directed at both Raven and Beast Boy.<p>

"Go!"

But he refused and transformed into a gorilla, grabbed Raven and shielding her from the arrows that bombarded his back and quickly jumped into the portal. As the portal behind him closed, Beast Boy saw Seymour's mouth open in fury.

…

Raven, half conscious, saw a tear drop from Beast Boy's eyes and onto her own bloody cheek. "Why did you have to come back?" he asked. "Why? You should have stayed in Azarath. You should have stayed where you were happy!"

Raven opened her lips, and struggled to get out the words. "No, this is where I'm happy. Here on Earth with my friends. Here on Earth…with you."

A silence followed, broken only by the faint _pitter patter_ of the rain. Raven felt an immense pain flow throughout her body from the arrows. Then she thought of what would happen now that her only hope for a cure was gone. "But who knows?" she replied. "Maybe someday I will go back. Maybe someday I'll never return to Earth. Maybe someday I'll disappear and never see you again. And maybe then, you'll cherish the memories we had together."

Beast Boy fought back the tears, but they were pouring out. He then stood up and dragged Raven up with much difficulty. "Hop on," he said as he pulled Raven onto his back.

"Where are we going?" she whispered.

"Somewhere to cherish the memories we have together."

Raven climbed on with much difficulty, as both were very much injured. The feat was soon accomplished, though, and he carried her through the forest that they landed in. She closed her eyes and rested.

…

Raven woke up. The ground under her was hard and rocky, but she felt a warm breeze brush against her head, which rested on Beast Boy's lap. She smiled; she knew where she was. She tried to make out what was happening, but everything was blurred. All she heard was the faint voice of someone singing, the same song she heard in the music store. She smiled. Raven didn't know exactly what was happening, but it felt too good. Everything was too good. Just stop, she told herself, and take a leap of faith. Darkness surrounded her eyes.

…

Raven awoke once more. She soon realized Beast Boy was carrying her, probably back home. They were once more in the forest, and Raven wondered how Beast Boy knew where to go. All of a sudden, she felt the whole world rush upwards and heard Beast Boy cry out as he slipped on the wet ground. Raven came tumbling down, with the world spinning around her, until she landed on something. It was soft, like a stuffed toy, yet somewhat hard, like muscles. As her vision focused, Raven realized it was Beast Boy. His face was staring up at her. Both seemed shock at the position in which they both now lay.

"Sometimes, you just need to let go—take a leap of faith—and fly." Beast Boy's words came back to her.

Without words, Raven brushed aside the rain on his face, exposing his lips. She remembered when they kissed in her mind. Just let go, she thought. Let go of all fears. Take a leap of faith. Fly.

As she placed her lips on his, she flew.

She really, truly flew.

And it truly was the best feelings in the world.

It was…beyond anything.

~Secrets in my Heart~


	7. Preview

**Sorry for the brief hiatus. Having some trouble finding time to write down the stories, so here's a small preview into the rest of the story to keep you guys anticipating. Also guys, thank you all of those who have reviewed my story. It really motivates me to finish writing this.**

* * *

><p>Raven's eyes burst open like lilies and a smile shone on her face as she sat up on her soft bed. It was time. Barely able to contain her grin, she quickly walked out of her room and nearly sprinted down the hall. Tonight's the night. She almost laughed out loud as she ran, a new feeling for Raven, one she felt was strange, but thoroughly enjoyed. Raven reached the end of the hall and came to a glass window, which she pushed open. She sighed as a cool breeze instantly swept onto her face and brushed aside her hair. A most wonderful night, she thought as she slowly moved outside through the window. A night to remember, she thought as she shifted her legs outside so she could sit comfortably on the window sill. Always, she thought as she felt the wind flow around her body, as if she was flying.<p>

There she sat for a few minutes, until she felt a presence near her. Knowing what it was, Raven casually peered between her legs onto the raging waters many feet below her. But they didn't scare her. She had no fear of them. And fearlessly, she leapt off the window and came crashing down towards the ferocious currents below. Down faster and faster she went as she shifted her body so she was headfirst and the back of her head faced the water. She stared up and the endless sky seemingly flying away from her as she fell and fell and fell. With no fear in her heart, she whispered, "I can fly."

Her fall was broken as she was caught in midair. Her breath was knocked out of her as she landed on a strange object. A smile ignited on her face as she turned around to look at the thing she was lying on. It was like a bird, but very large, almost as much as a pterodactyl, but as beautiful as a swan and as graceful as a dove, and had a long, elegant tail and large outstretched wings. She was lying on its stomach and chest, which was slowly bobbing up and down as it breathed. Raven couldn't help but place her hands on the bird's green fur. However, she could feel the hard muscles under all the soft fur and feathers. As the bird began gliding away from the tower, Raven whispered, "Let's go."

…

Beast Boy walked casually on the beach. It seemed easier to talk to her now, he thought. He remembered it was the same way with Terra. He was awkward to start a conversation with, but once he started talking, he'll go on about everything.

"What I'd want to be if we didn't have superpowers anymore?" He thought for a moment. "A journalist, yeah. It's always been my dream to write. Well, my _secret_ dream, that is. To tell about all of our lives, everything we've been through, and all the places we've been to—to tell all that to the world, that's my dream. After all, it'd sort of be a waste of no one _really_ knew about us and who we are, y'know?"

Beast Boy stopped himself. Perhaps he was talking too much. He remembered Terra mentioned that once.

"Eh, what about you, Raven? Say you weren't from Azarath and you were just human. What would, uh, you be?"

"Me?" she seemed a little startled by the question. "Well, I—I never really thought about that." A smile frown appeared on her face. "All my life, I only know about Azarath and my powers. I never really thought about life without it."

"Well," Beast Boy said. "Think now."

Raven walked silently for a while, lost in thought. "I think," she said after a while. "I remember this dream I had, when I was very young. And I think I—yes. If I didn't have powers, I would be…"

…

Raven could tell Terra was trying to hold back the tears. Raven could barely stop her own tears.

"I've tried to ignore him—to forget about him, ever since I came back. I—I tried to forget my life, my old life—I tried to forget myself, the girl who betrayed her friends. I wanted to forget who I was. I wanted to forget him. But it was just so hard. Eventually I found a boarding school I could go to and—and made up a life for myself and made new friends and… But every night I still remember. All the times we laughed together, all the times we smiled to each other."

She let a few tears drop and wiped her face before continuing.

"We first met while I was trying to control my powers. And we met again while I pretended not to know him. I tried avoiding him—acting like he was a stranger, but I couldn't help but want to be with him one more time. So I let myself be with him, but it hurt too much, because I knew I couldn't let myself be with him. I thought about him every second of my life since then, and it killed me inside. Eventually I dropped out of school and lost all my friends. And all I could think about was Beast Boy.

"I tried forgetting him, but now I know. I'm nothing without Beast Boy. I must be with him.

"Please, Raven," the girl begged. "You have to help me. You're one of his best friends. I know he'll listen to you. Please convince him."

Tears shone on Raven's face as she stared at the crying Terra. She shoved back the urge to confess to Terra that she was the reason Beast Boy couldn't be with Terra. She was the reason that Terra was like this. She was the reason Terra was so miserable. She was the reason Terra was dying. But she also was…

"I—," Raven stammered.

…

"What are you saying?" asked the startled Beast Boy.

"I mean… this can't go on," answered a teary-eyed Raven. "I don't want this…anymore."

Beast Boy felt his eyes burn. "I—Raven, please."

"No, Beast Boy."

"Raven…Don't say it. Don't do this to me. Please."

"I'm sorry."

The girl slowly but surely turned away and walked towards the forest. Beast Boy felt his eyes on fire. In time, he felt tears emerge from the fire—hot, burning tears that slid down his cheek like lava. His hands tingled and shook and his lips trembled.

He watched as the girl walked away—away from him. She left him and took away his heart. The girl walked and walked until…

Beast Boy gasped as the girl stumbled, then collapsed.

"Raven!" he cried as he ran towards the body. Lifting her head with his hands, he shook her, trying to wake her up. "Raven!" Panicking, he hurriedly clutched her hand. It was still warm, but very still. Quickly he checked her heartbeat, which he could hear but found to be very slow, with almost two seconds between each beat. "Raven!" he cried, shaking her even harder. "Raven!"

…

Raven panted hard with her knees and hands on the ground. The pain surged everywhere throughout her body like she was on fire. As she lifted her head and glared at the figure in front of her, she saw the shadowy sword pointing at her, inches from her face. The Other Raven smirked and said simply, "IT ENDS NOW. THIS WORLD WILL FALL JUST LIKE COUNTLESS OTHERS." Raven grunted as the Other Raven laughed at her face. "WORLDS STAINED WITH DEMON BLOOD ARE DOOMED TO NOTHINGNESS." Raven could hear the demons around her as their chant grew into a shout, "FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC." Over and over again the demons shouted the ancient curse that prefigures death. Raven knew it was all over. She knew her friends could not possibly stop it—could not possibly stop her. Her pain was too much for her to stop the Other Raven, either. She felt a tear on her cheek. Wasn't seeing him smile good enough? "FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC. FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC. FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC."

…

_I am Raven._

_I love you._

_Do you love me?_

~Secrets in my Heart~


	8. Let Them Into Your Mind x Beast Boy

**There are two moments here when songs are played: the singer's song, and the First Love song. Instead of just writing down plain words, I'm going to link them to you for you to hear, yourself on YouTube.**

**Singer's Song (Alice is Dead): watch?v=6k-tkW0eTDs**

**First Love: watch?v=bkNooh1lFaU**

**Sidenote: Just so you guys know, Beast Boy and Raven are on Earth now. At the end of Chapter 6 (Parties), Beast Boy and Raven made it back to Earth and their relationship officially starts. Since it's still nighttime on Earth, the two made it back to Titans Tower and the others aren't aware that anything happened. This chapter takes place a few days later. At the beginning, Raven's in Titans Tower, making sure everyone's still sleeping. Beast Boy and Raven want their relationship to be a secret for now.**

* * *

><p>Raven's eyes burst open like lilies and a smile shone on her face as she sat up on her soft bed. It was time. Barely able to contain her grin, she quickly walked out of her room and nearly sprinted down the hall. Tonight's the night. She almost laughed out loud as she ran, a new feeling for Raven, one she felt was strange, but thoroughly enjoyed. Raven reached the end of the hall and came to a glass window, which she pushed open. She sighed as a cool breeze instantly swept onto her face and brushed aside her hair. A most wonderful night, she thought as she slowly moved outside through the window. A night to remember, she thought as she shifted her legs outside so she could sit comfortably on the window sill. Always, she thought as she felt the wind flow around her body, as if she was flying.<p>

There she sat for a few minutes, until she felt a presence near her. Knowing what it was, Raven casually peered between her legs onto the raging waters many feet below her. But they didn't scare her. She had no fear of them. And fearlessly, she leapt off the window and came crashing down towards the ferocious currents below. Down faster and faster she went as she shifted her body so she was headfirst and the back of her head faced the water. She stared up and the endless sky seemingly flying away from her as she fell and fell and fell. With no fear in her heart, she whispered, "I can fly."

Her fall was broken as she was caught in midair. Her breath was knocked out of her as she landed on a strange object. A smile ignited on her face as she turned around to look at the thing she was lying on. It was like a bird, but very large, almost as much as a pterodactyl, but as beautiful as a swan and as graceful as a dove, and had a long, elegant tail and large outstretched wings. She was lying on its stomach and chest, which was slowly bobbing up and down as it breathed. Raven couldn't help but place her hands on the bird's green fur. However, she could feel the hard muscles under all the soft fur and feathers. As the bird began gliding away from the tower, Raven whispered, "Let's go."

…

With ease, the bird elegantly landed on a beach. As the girl jumped from the bird and landed on the soft white sand, the beast transformed into a boy.

"It's dark," the girl noted as she crossed her arms. "And cold."

"It suits you," Beast Boy smirked.

"Oh, shut up," Raven retorted.

"Whatever," he laughed. "I'm not gonna stop just 'cause we're—" He stopped abruptly. It felt weird. It was a simple word. D-A-T-I-N-G. But why couldn't he say it? Raven had a confused expression on her face like she couldn't bring herself to say it either.

"Umm, anyway," he quickly said. Raven gave him a small chuckle and started walking along the beach. Beast Boy quickly followed. Crap, he thought. Why couldn't he think of something to say?

Raven, as if she read his mind, initiated the conversation. "So Beast Boy, I've always wondered: How do your powers work?"

Beast Boy couldn't help but chuckle. What kind of question was that?

"Shut up," she said. "Just tell me."

Well, it's a better question than nothing.

"Well, I was told that I got my powers because of my parents. You see, my folks were geneticists that traveled the jungles of the world to study their wildlife. They became interested in a rare species of monkey that had green skin. The day they finally found it, though, I was bitten by the monkey and contracted something called Sakutia. To save me, his parents tried to cure me with a serum, and that gave me my powers. As a side effect, my skin, hair, and eyes turned green. After that, my parents—they died in a boating accident." Beast Boy tried not to sound too sad. It probably didn't work.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Raven said.

"Eh, don't be. I was too young to even remember them. Anyway, because of that, all I have to do is think of an animal. And if I think it hard enough, I'll just change into it. So hey, what about you?"

"Me? Well… I can't really explain how it works. I, well since I'm a Lady, I had to study magic for a long, long time. You know it's not really something you can just explain to someone. I think the only thing I could explain to you is my telekinesis. When I want to control an object, I concentrate my mind on that thing. Then, I—well I place a small fragment of my soul in it. So then it becomes a part of me, and I could control it."

"That's cool. So what else can you do? Y'know, besides lifting stuff with your mind."

Raven snickered. 'Lifting stuff with your mind,' she thought.

"Well, I can place my mind inside others and see and think what they think. You already know that.

"I can project my soul-self in the form of a large shadow raven and carry myself and others to a faraway place. You've seen me do that before."

"Well come on, tell me stuff I don't already know! Can you… fight with your eyes closed?"

"Actually, yeah. I can use my powers to sense the objects around me. Obviously I won't be as good but I probably could."

"Can you… oh! Can you speak different languages? Can you make writing appear out of nowhere?"

"Yeah, I can speak every language on Earth. It's part of training as a Lady. And no I can't make writing appear out of nowhere. I mean, if I controlled a pencil or something and used it to write, then yeah, but it's impossible to make writing appear from nowhere."

"It'd be great if you could. I mean think of how convenient it would be. We could communicate with the others even if we're far away."

"Yeah, it would be."

Beast Boy looked out onto the ocean. It was so peaceful. The waves were small and a cool wind was blowing. Water was gently licking around their feet.

"Say, Raven."

"Hmm?"

"If we never had our powers, do you think we would have met?"

"Well, you know if I never had powers, I'd never be on Earth."

"Ok, ok fine. If we never had powers AND you were a human. Would we have met?"

"Hmm, I don't know. What would you be if we didn't have powers anymore?"

Beast Boy walked casually on the beach. It seemed easier to talk to her now, he thought. He remembered it was the same way with Terra. He was awkward to start a conversation with, but once he started talking, he'll go on about everything.

"What I'd want to be if we didn't have superpowers anymore?" He thought for a moment. "A journalist, yeah. It's always been my dream to write. Well, my _secret_ dream, that is. To tell about all of our lives, everything we've been through, and all the places we've been to—to tell all that to the world, that's my dream. After all, it'd sort of be a waste of no one _really_ knew about us and who we are, y'know?"

Beast Boy stopped himself. Perhaps he was talking too much. He remembered Terra mentioned that once.

"Eh, what about you, Raven? Say you weren't from Azarath and you were just human. What would, uh, you be?"

"Me?" she seemed a little startled by the question. "Well, I—I never really thought about that." A smile frown appeared on her face. "All my life, I only know about Azarath and my powers. I never really thought about life without it."

"Well," Beast Boy said. "Think now."

Raven walked silently for a while, lost in thought. "I think," she said after a while. "I remember this dream I had, when I was very young. And I think I—yes. If I didn't have powers, I would be…"

…

The two were nearing the city. "Hey, Raven, check it out!" cried Beast Boy as he pointed towards a nightclub: The Jackal. "Looks like fun," he said.

"Fun?" said Raven.

Beast Boy left her with no choice as he dragged her to the entrance.

After pulling Raven towards the door, the two were confronted by a very large man in a tuxedo that looked far too small for him.

"Hiya," Beast Boy squeaked.

"Sorry, kids. Grown-ups only," grunted the man.

"Hey, but—"

"I told you, scram before I—"

Beast Boy waited for the man to finish his sentence, but nothing else came. The man was staring at Raven very strangely. Beast Boy glanced at Raven, and saw that her eyes were pitch black. He glanced back at the very large man and saw that he was now smiling.

"My apologies, Ms. Roth," said the man. "There is a private table here for you and Mr. Logan. Unfortunately it is near the back."

"Don't worry," replied Raven. "It's quite fine. Thank you."

"My pleasure, Ms. Roth."

As the two stepped inside, Beast Boy whispered, "Roth?"

"Yes, Beast Boy, even I have a last name," she retorted sarcastically as they sat down at their table.

Beast Boy looked around. The room was large and dark, but he could make out the crimson walls with golden accents. The chairs and tables were crimson red as well, and also had golden accents. Dangling from the ceiling was a large crystal chandelier in the shape of a titanic ship.

"See? I knew it'd be a nice place," Beast Boy laughed as he looked at Raven. But she didn't hear him. Her attention seemed to be on the singer. Beast Boy turned his head towards the front of the room. On the stage stood a young woman wearing a long crimson dress that went down to her ankles and had several straps around her shoulders. She had light skin and long blonde hair. Even though the spotlight was on her, she was too far away for Beast Boy to see her clearly. What captivated him, though, was her voice. As she sang, she stole his—and everyone else's in the room—attention as he stared at her, watching her sing her seductive melody like a siren.

Applause came as the spotlight dimmed and the young woman stepped off the stage.

"Beautiful, just beautiful," Beast Boy heard a man say. "Now next up is one for all of you lovebirds. So guys, bring her up here and get her close—real close."

"No! Beast Boy!"

But he was already pulling her up the stage.

"Beast Boy," she gasped. "I can't dance."

"Heh, neither can I."

"But I—"

"Come on, Raven. Don't talk. Just… go with it."

"Ok ladies and gentlemen, here's a nice slow song. One of my favorites, too: First Love.

As the music started and the lights dimmed, Raven whispered, "Beast Boy!"

"Shh," he replied. "Remember, just… go with it."

And they danced.

And danced.

And danced.

And she placed her head on his shoulders.

And he felt her breathing slowly.

And he felt her soft, beating heart.

And the music played.

…

Raven and Beast Boy sat on the pier, staring into the open sea. Both couldn't help but smile. Beast Boy looked at Raven. Her eyes were closed and her hood was down. He liked it when her hood was down.

"It's getting late," she said. "We should head back."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I guess we should."

The stars were so bright.

"Hey. I had fun tonight. Thanks, Beast Boy."

"Eh? Oh, no problem. I did too."

The waves crashed against the shore underneath.

"Hey. I'm sorry."

"Huh? What for?"

"I'm sorry… for all those times I've hurt you or teased you or made fun of you. For all that, I'm sorry. Ok?"

"Heh, of course."

Beast Boy smiled as he turned around and jumped up. As he helped Raven up, he placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I, Beast Boy, hereby forgive you of all your sins," he said smiling.

Raven smiled back and placed her hand on Beast Boy's head. "I, Raven, hereby forgive you of all your sins."

Both smiled, then laughed.

If the story ended here, this is where I would say, 'And then the boy and the girl kissed and they lived happily ever after.'

But the story does not end here.

It is far from it.

~Secrets in my Heart~


	9. Let Them Into Your Mind x Raven Part 1

_Dear Raven,_

_I've delivered all of the books that you've requested. The left pile contains information about demons and their effects on humans, the center pile contains information on magical curses and reverses, and the small folder on the right contains the Paen Files (Be grateful. I had to pull a lot of strings to get you the last one little miss!). If you don't mind that I ask, why do you want all of these books? Are you alright? You know you can tell me anything, Raven. I've known you ever since you were a little girl coming into my library every night. Please tell me if anything's wrong._

_Also, an urgent message from Father Don Quixote: There will be a meeting of the Fathers and Ladies in two days' time at midnight regarding the recent disappearance of Lady Dulcinea. He expects you to be there._

_Sincerely,_

_Professor Carta._

"Ok, Rae-Rae. Start from the beginning. Come on!" exclaimed Pink.

"Naw, come on, we all know what happens!" replied Green.

"Do we _have_ to hear this all over again?" complained Brown.

"Well, _I_ wouldn't mind hearing it again. It all sounds so lovely," said Purple as she sighed happily.

"Of course _you_ do," retorted Yellow.

"Come on, it's so fun!" cried Pink. "Come on, Raven. Please? Please?"

"I don't think we should bother Raven about it," Grey said quietly. "I mean, if she doesn't want to say it again, then so be it."

"But I wanna hear what happened at their date!" Pink whined.

"Pink, you _know_ what happens," Yellow replied annoyingly.

"Yeah, yeah. Walk in the beach, went to some club, danced. Blah blah blah. But I wanna hear the details! Come on, Raven. Please!"

"Pink, I've told you four times already," Raven said bluntly. "And besides, it's almost time for me to wake up so I have to talk to you guys about something… important."

"What is it, Raven?" Yellow asked intently.

"I really need to gather my thoughts on this. I'm not sure what to do. It's about the singer in the club last night."

"The one in the red dress?" Green asked.

"Yes," Raven answered. "And now just to make sure. Was I right when I thought it was…"

As all the emoticlones nodded, Raven finished her sentence, "…Terra."

Silently, she mumbled, "So she _is_ alive."

Part of her wasn't surprised.

"Well," Purple started. "What're you gonna do?"

Raven hesitated for a moment, and then said, "I have to talk to her."

"But… why?" Brown said.

"Oh don't tell me you didn't feel it, too!" Raven snapped. "You're all me! You all could feel it. That pain that she felt. The sadness that she felt. You know you felt it. And something… felt wrong. I have to go talk to her."

"Raven," Purple said calmly. "But she's…Beast Boy's…"

"I know," Raven answered. "But something feels wrong. I have to talk to her."

A flash. Two bright blood-red eyes glared in her mind. And then she heard a voice, a dark and sinister one, but was so quiet that she wasn't sure it was real or just her imagination. _Yes, Raven. Something does feel wrong. Resistance is futile. You and all those you care for are doomed to nothingness._

…

She was getting closer. Raven could sense Terra's presence close by, but it felt frantic and was moving fast. Raven stood at the top of a building and looked around the city, trying to pinpoint Terra's exact location. Wherever she was, she was scared—Raven could feel it.

Raven closed her eyes and concentrated her soul self on Terra. She was difficult to find, but Raven eventually entered her mind. "Good," Raven thought. "Now let's see where you are."

She could see that Terra was running down an alleyway, but why? As she was running, Terra glanced behind her, giving Raven the opportunity to see her pursuers—police.

Whatever was happening, Raven had to save her—now. But where was she? What alleyway was this? It seemed familiar. Was it? Yes!

Raven opened her eyes, ran to the side of the building and peered down. As Raven had predicted, there Terra was, with a dozen cops right after her? Why didn't she use her powers? Probably not to alarm the cops, Raven thought. No matter. The police can't catch her if Raven could help.

Swiftly, Raven jumped off the building and fell down towards the ground. Just as she was about to hit Terra from above, Raven grabbed Terra and created a dark portal on the ground. The two girls fell into it and the police watched in shock as the dark hole in the ground flew upwards and materialized into a large dark raven-like shadow and flew away.

The shadow flew towards a nearby park, crashed into a bench, and dissipated in smoke. As the smoke immediately cleared, Raven could be seen comforting a panting and sobbing Terra.

Eventually, Terra began to form some words between her panting. "Wha—Where—Wha—What happened?" As she looked up, a smile broke on her face as she embraced her friend. "Raven!" she cried. "I'm so glad to see you! What's happening? Where are the cops? Where are we? What's happening?"

"Calm down, Terra," Raven responded. "It's alright. They have no idea where you are now. But look you have to tell me what's going on, what happened to you. Ok?"

As Raven managed to calm her down, Terra took some time to catch her breath.

Terra… Raven thought. She looked so pitiful. Her hair was a tangled mess and she looked like she hadn't taken a proper shower in days.

Eventually Terra began explaining everything that's happened to her recently and why she pretended not to know Beast Boy when they last met.

Raven could tell Terra was trying to hold back the tears. "I've tried to ignore him—to forget about him, ever since I came back. I—I tried to forget my life, my old life—I tried to forget myself, the girl who betrayed her friends. I wanted to forget who I was. I wanted to forget him. But it was just so hard. Eventually I found a boarding school I could go to and—and made up a life for myself and made new friends and… But every night I still remember. All the times we laughed together, all the times we smiled to each other."

She let a few tears drop and wiped her face before continuing.

"We first met while I was trying to control my powers. And we met again while I pretended not to know him. I tried avoiding him—acting like he was a stranger, but I couldn't help but want to be with him one more time. So I let myself be with him, but it—it hurt too much, because I knew I couldn't let myself be with him. I thought about him every second of my life since then, and it killed me inside. Eventually school ended and I lost all my friends and I had nowhere to go. And then I got this job singing at a club. It was alright, barely enough to keep me alive. And all this time, all I could think about was Beast Boy.

"I tried forgetting him, I tried so hard. But now I know. I'm nothing without Beast Boy. I have to be with him."

Both Raven and Terra were in tears.

"Please, Raven," the girl begged. "You have to help me. You're one of his best friends. I know he'll listen to you. Please convince him. Convince him to see me. To talk to me."

Tears shone on Raven's face as she stared at the crying Terra. She shoved back the urge to confess to Terra that she was the reason Beast Boy couldn't be with Terra. She was the reason that Terra was like this. She was the reason Terra was so miserable. She was the reason Terra was dying. But she also was…

"I—," Raven stammered.

Blood-shot eyes. _Kill. Destroy. Vengeance._

No! Stop it!

…

Raven stood on the cliff. As she felt the cool breeze against her face, Terra's words echoed in her head.

"But every night I still remember. All the times we laughed together, all the times we smiled to each other."

"I've tried to ignore him—to forget about him."

"I couldn't help but want to be with him one more time."

"But it hurt too much."

"Hurt too much…"

"I tried forgetting him, I tried so hard."

"…help me… Help me, Raven."

Raven's mind felt heavy.

"I tried…"

"I'm nothing without Beast Boy…"

She heard a ringing in her head.

"I was always alone as a child…"

Her vision started blurring. She felt lightheaded.

"Friendless… Worthless…"

"Beast Boy was the only…"

"I hated my childhood."

Objects in the distance became cloudy and obscure. She looked at her hand. One moment it was clear; seconds later it looked like a formless gray blob, then back to a hand. Her vision blurred and cleared, blurred and cleared.

"…was the only one who made me…"

"…cried every night…cried myself to sleep…"

She felt a strong pain in her chest, like there was something inside, kicking her chest, struggling to get out, struggling to free itself.

"…was the only one…"

"Sometimes I feel…"

_You and everyone you care for are doomed to nothingness_.

"Beast Boy was the only one who made me feel happier than I thought I could be."

"And you want to take _that_ away from her?" called a voice.

Raven gasped and turned around. Immediately, she felt a throbbing pain in her side.

"Who are you?" she gasped.

"I am you," the voice responded. As Raven stared at the mysterious figure, her vision cleared and she could see that the person was, indeed, her.

"Wha—what's happening?" Raven demanded. "I'm—I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming aren't I?"

"_Day_dreaming," said the doppelganger. "I'm nothing more than your hallucination. A mere illusion. And that pain you feel? It's called guilt."

"Guilt? For what?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me," the double sneered. "Like I said, I'm you. I know what you know. I feel what you feel. And I know you feel guilty for taking Beast Boy away from Terra. You saw her cry. You see her life is miserable. It's always been miserable. And you go and take away the only person that made her smile."

"Well, whatever!" Raven stammered. "She and Beast Boy are history and she knows it."

"Oh Raven! How could you be so selfish? And heartless! I didn't know you had it in you, or rather, I had it in me."

"Shut up! She can make new friends. She can meet new people. She can find someone else!"

"Can she? Are you sure? Maybe you've just taken away the only thing she has. Or will ever have."

"No! You can't possibly believe Beast Boy was the only friend she ever had!"

The double smiled. "Then see for yourself."

"What?"

"Ashtek Ignos Eglasia…"

Raven gasped, "No!"

"Libera Strefay Elonhart…"

"No! Stop!"  
>"Nordin!"<p>

…

As Raven's hallucination finished the spell, Raven was struck by a powerful force, knocking her backwards. As she fell, all time around her seemed to slow down. As soon as her body hit the floor, the floor splashed and rippled like water. Suddenly, all reality around her morphed and shifted into a dream-like dimension. As she fell, it felt less and less like reality and more like a dream. She lost all feeling and could barely keep her mind straight.

"Where…am I?" she thought.

"Surely you remember that spell, Raven. Or have you forgotten already?" a voice said.

Raven scoffed. Of course she remembered. Ashtek Ignos Eglasia Libera Strefay Elonhart Nordin, the Recall spell: the ability to send one's consciousness into the past in the body of someone else, someone the caster is familiar with. But who? Whose body was she in?

Raven then felt a strong, warm light as feeling came back to her. She felt her arms and legs start to move like she was walking. Her vision cleared, and she realized she was in the body of a little girl. But again, who? She felt herself, or rather the girl, walk towards a playground where many other children were playing. They all stopped and stared at her. Everything was silent.

"Oh come on," Raven thought. "Say _something_."

"H—hi," she heard the girl say. "I'm—my name's Terra."

Terra, Raven thought. So that's who I'm in.

The children stared at her and then resumed playing, completely ignoring her.

Raven felt Terra get embarrassed, then angry. Suddenly a small rock on the playground flew up and struck one of the children in the face. Raven gasped as the little boy fell down and cried and shrieked, grasping his little injury with his hand. Suddenly another rock flew up and struck another kid in the back, then another hit a different kid, then another, and another.

Terra, Raven thought. What are you doing?

Terra, shocked and scared, slowly backed away and then ran.

All of a sudden, Raven felt a large flash. As the abrupt flash cleared, she saw that Terra was now in a small bedroom, and was a bit taller, too.

"Terra," a voice said. As Terra looked up, Raven saw a small, stout woman at the door. "Why aren't you playing with the others?"

"Because they hate me," Terra replied.

"Oh you can't possibly believe that. They just have some…trouble adjusting to seeing a new face."

"Well _I'm_ not!" said Terra. "I see new faces all the time. I'm always sent from one place to another. Always, always. I'm never at the same place more than a month. Why doesn't anyone want me?" she screamed as she burst into tears.

Another flash. Terra is sitting at a beach, smiling. She must be around 14, Raven thought. As Terra turned, Raven could see a boy was sitting next to her. A green boy. Was it—Beast Boy? He was wearing casual clothes and looked slightly younger than when he and Raven first met.

"Terra," the boy asked. "How come no one else talks to you?"

"Nobody likes me, Garfield," Terra replied.

Garfield. So it _was_ Beast Boy. But this was long before Terra had met the Titans. She and Beast Boy haven't met yet…have they?

Beast Boy scoffed, "How's that possible?"

"Then…be there for me, always. Alright? Whenever I need you, be there for me. Promise?" Terra raised up her pinky and smiled.

Beast Boy chuckled as he crossed his pinky with Terra's, joking, "Do people still do this anymore?"

Raven stared at Beast Boy through Terra's eyes. He seemed so happy, staring at Terra. They'd known each other for so long. He and Terra…so perfect. Raven saw that Beast Boy looked at Terra a certain way, different than the way he looked at herself. Whenever he looked at herself, he looked at her with attentive eyes and a small smile. And that was good enough. Seeing that smile was good enough. But when he looked at Terra…his eyes shone and twinkled, his face radiated, and his smile was…different. It was...happier.

Raven felt a tear breaking through. But not on Terra's face. It was her own.

Raven's thoughts were interrupted by an approaching van. Strange, why would a van drive on a beach? Upon closer inspection, she found that the van was driving very fast. Terra seemed to notice it, too, but Beast Boy didn't. What was going on? Raven saw that the driver seemed very distracted and was constantly looking behind him. What bother Raven was that it seemed to be heading straight for Terra and Beast Boy. Raven then heard police sirens coming from behind the van. Then she realized: the man in the van was running from the police. And he was about to hit—

"Garfield," cried Terra. "Garfield, look out!"

The van was now inches away from the two and Terra jumped out just in time. Beast Boy, however, was hit.

Everything was so sudden. The van tipped and fell on its side and left a bloody and unconscious Beast Boy right next to it. Raven stared in shock.

"Garfield!" Terra cried as she rushed over towards the knocked-out Beast Boy. The driver of the van climbed out, relatively unharmed, and then began sprinting away. As she stood up, Raven could feel anger surge through Terra. She felt Terra clench her fist very tightly. Suddenly, sand around the man flew up and surrounded the man. The man stopped in shock as the sand around him swirled around into a tornado. Raven saw in horror as more and more sand came, until the man—and his cries for help—couldn't even be detected under all the sand. It happened for about a minute, but by the time the police came, Terra was already unconscious from using so much of her power. As for the man, it was hard to say what happened or how it happened. The sand wrapped so tightly around the man that sand particles fused into his skin. Nearly half the beach fused into the man, whose body absorbed so much sand that his entire body become block-like and hard as rock. Though Raven wasn't sure, she felt like the man looked eerily similar to Cinderblock.

So Terra created Cinderblock?

A flash interrupted any further thoughts Raven had.

This time was at a hospital. Beast Boy was lying in a hospital bed with a couple casts. He was alive, but very much broken.

"Will he be ok?" Terra asked.

"Yeah," a doctor replied. "Couple broken bones, but no serious head injury. He does have amnesia, though. It's likely he won't remember anything from the past couple years."

"He'll…forget me?" Terra mumbled.

"Don't worry," the doctor reassured. "Just talk to him and eventually he'll start to regain some of his memories about you."

As the doctor left, Terra sighed. She walked up towards Beast Boy and grasped his hand. "But…it's my fault you're like this." As a tear fell from her cheek, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Garfield.

"Garfield," she whispered. "If we ever meet again, I'll never leave you. I'll never let you get hurt again." As she said these words, she curled her pinky around his. "I promise."

Then Beast Boy, the hospital room, everything disappeared. Raven looked at her hands. She was no longer in Terra's body.

"See how you've taken away the only good thing that's happened to Terra?" she heard.

"His smile…" Raven muttered.

"Ah yes, so you noticed that, too."

"It looked…different."

"It looked happy. And does he ever look at you that way? Does he?"

"…No."

"And maybe… it's better this way. For everyone."

"What?"

"That growing pain you feel? Your blurry vision? The way your head feels light yet heavy at the same time? Your chest hurts and your nose bleeds." Raven felt liquid emerge from her nostrils and was horrified to discover that it was, indeed, blood. "You know very well what that means," the hallucination said, its voice steadily getting louder and louder.

"No…"

"Yes."

"No…"

"Do not deny what you know to be true."

"It can't be!"

"Stay away from Beast Boy!" cried the Other Raven. "Keep your heart's distance from him or it shall happen. PAEN SHALL COME ALIVE!"

"No!"

~Secrets in my Heart~


	10. Let Them Into Your Mind x Raven Part 2

_Dearest Father Don Quixote,_

_It pains me to confirm that Lady Dulcinea has been found—and is no more. I do not know anything for sure, but I believe she had been infected with the Paen, which is why she disappeared so suddenly. Just today, the Teen Titans and I had encountered a powerful sorceress attacking Earth. It wasn't long until I realized the sorceress was none other than Lady Dulcinea, herself. Even worse, she showed the mark of Paen in her eyes. Just as she began her transformation into a beast, I've managed to stab her with a crystal dagger, killing her immediately. Now that her death is confirmed, it will be necessary for Brother Therien to become a Father in order to replace her. Please tell me when the ceremony will be._

_On an unrelated note, please inform Professor Seymour that I will accept his hand in marriage under the condition that he gives the cure to Paen to me and all those infected._

_Thank you, Father._

_With all due respect,_

_Lady Raven_

Raven stood at the edge of the cliff closing her eyes quietly as she felt the soft breeze brush up against her face, tickling her cheeks and blowing on her hair. She opened her eyes very slowly. Her vision, still slightly blurry, was much clearer than before. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she whispered. Control, she thought. Control. As Raven peered into the horizon, she could faintly see the city and, near the coast of the city, Titans Tower.

"My last time seeing this?" she whispered to herself. "Maybe yes, maybe no."

Raven closed her eyes and breathed out slowly. She was ready. She knew she had to. And yet, the thought of leaving everything and everybody, the thought of leaving Beast Boy…

But she had to.

In order to protect them.

In order to…

Raven felt her eyes start to burn and hurriedly stopped thinking.

Control. Control. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

"Raven?"

And the sound of his voice broke her control as she felt tears begin to emerge.

"You wanted to see me, Raven?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yes, Beast Boy," she replied without looking at him.

"Well?" he asked cheerfully.

"It's… I'm… I'm going away. And I'm not coming back. I'm getting away… from you. Forever."

"…What?" asked a shocked Beast Boy. "Raven… Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, ok! Don't you get it! I'm getting away from you!"

"What—What are you saying?" asked the startled Beast Boy.

"I mean… this can't go on," answered a teary-eyed Raven. "I don't want this…anymore."

Beast Boy was in utter shock. He didn't know what to say. "I—Raven, please."

"No, Beast Boy."

"Raven…Don't say it. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to the others. Please!"

"I'm sorry."

The girl slowly but surely turned away and walked towards the forest. Beast Boy was in complete disbelief. What just… happened? It didn't feel… normal. It didn't feel right.

He watched as the girl walked. What was he feeling inside? Was he… sad? Well… no. More like shock. But why should he feel sad? Why shouldn't he? They just broke up… right? The girl walked and walked until…

Beast Boy gasped as she stumbled, then collapsed.

"Raven!" he cried as he ran towards the body. Lifting her head with his hands, he shook her, trying to wake her up. "Raven!" Panicking, he hurriedly clutched her hand. It was still warm, but very still. Quickly he checked her heartbeat, which he could hear but found to be very slow, with almost two seconds between each beat. "Raven!" he cried, shaking her even harder. "Raven!"

He stared in horror as he started to see blood coming from her nose.

"Oh no, no, no. Raven! Wake up!"

"Wake up…"

Wakeup…

wakeup…

…

Raven walked next to Raphael towards the tree. As they stopped, she looked all around her and saw all the little cottages and farms. She had never seen them before. She's never even been to this part of Azarath before.

"So dis is where yoo live?" she asked.

"Yea," Raphael replied. "Sector 12. Pwetty small innit? I mean a lotta smaller than the castle where you're from."

"Yea dis place is tiny! But that twee's so big!" Raven said, pointing at the tall tree.

"Yoo know how to climb trees, Raven?"

"Noo…"

"Here, I'll show ya!"

…

"My mom don't want me to go out here, Raphael."

"Huh? Whaddaya mean?"

"Afta I fell and bwoke my tooth, my mom got mad. I got in twouble."

"Too baaaad!"

…

Raven and Raphael sat on a large branch on their tree.

"You don't come out here so much anymore," Raphael said.

"Cause I can only go when my mom doesn't know, doofus!" Raven replied. Raphael was nearly 11 years old, a year older than her, but he can be a real idiot sometimes.

"Pssh whatever."

"Gosh, you're annoying!"

…

"How come you always come out here, Raven? I mean don't you hang out with anyone in Sector 1?" Raphael asked.

"Nobody likes me," Raven replied, almost teasingly.

"Yeah right. How's _that_ possible?"

Raven smiled at Raphael. He had just turned 15 and was becoming quite handsome. Gone was his crooked smile, his eternally ruffled hair, and slightly chubby belly. He now sported shiny white teeth, along with some impressive muscles and a small moustache. Raven, such great friends with Raphael, now sometimes felt a little shy around him.

"Then… do _you_ like me?" she asked.

Raven chuckled as Raphael looked shocked, then started stammering, obviously caught off guard by the question.

She got this far… might as well go on.

Raven leaned closer to Raphael and whispered to his ear. "I like you."

Slowly, but surely, Raphael leaned closer, little by little, until their lips met.

…

Raven was busy knitting while sitting on the steps leading to the castle. She was all smiles today. And why shouldn't she be. She just had her first kiss yesterday.

Speaking of which, it was about time that she met with him.

As she placed her knitting down and started walking towards the gates of Sector 1, she heard a couple of kids her age talking near her.

"So who are we gonna pick to represent Sector 1 in the Track category of the Azarath Youth Games?"

"I dunno."

"How about Raven? She can run pretty fast."

"Raven? For what? To run to Sector 12? To go look for a boyfriend?"

Raven stopped suddenly as the others laughed. How did they know?

"Please, she'd go to another _planet_ to look for a boyfriend!"

"It's too bad," a boy said. "She's kinda pretty. I'd go out with her. If only she wasn't too busy giving her virginity to stupid farm boys."

Laughter ensued. This finally prompted a response from Raven.

"Shut up, Seymour," she snapped. "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last person on Azarath. I'd rather be kissed by death than by you!"

Seymour snickered and casually replied, "Whatever."

"Raphael's more of a man than you'll ever be!"

A few ooh's emerged from the crowd as Seymour turned around and faced Raven, now clearly insulted. Raven stood her ground; she knew Seymour was all bark and no bite. In reality, he was somewhat fragile.

"Then why don't you run back to your man, then," he said, pushing her a little. "Don't act so high and mighty, Raven. You're not a Sister yet."

Raven clenched her fist. Little did he know she was already a Lady. She could turn this guy into smoke in an instant.

But she knew she couldn't. And she ran away.

…

"Raven," said Raphael. "Why are you here?"

"I… I wanna live here, Raphael. I like it here."

"No. You belong in Sector 1."

"I want to be here."

"…Is this because you don't have friends in Sector 1?"

"…They're all idiots."

"No, Raven. You need to try to accept them. So they'll accept you. I want you to have a lot of friends, Raven. I don't want you to have to come here all the time."

"But I want to come here, Raphael. I don't care about them."

"Yes, you do. Raven, it hurts you, doesn't it? Whenever you see them. You're jealous of them that you can't be there with them. You want them to like you, right?"

"Yeah, but whenever I come here, I feel better."

Raphael sighed. "No, Raven. I want you to feel happy all the time. Not just here."

Both were silent.

"Hey," Raphael said. "Let's make a deal. If you go back to Sector 1 and don't come back here and make a lot of friends there, I'll study twice as hard—three times as hard—and I'll be a Brother. And you'll be a Sister. And I'll be admitted into Sector 1 and I'll meet all your new friends. How about that?"

Raven couldn't help but smile. Raphael was a great person, but he certainly wasn't the smartest. He could lift bags of flour easily but will never be able to tell the difference between a hex and a charm.

"Becoming a Brother's not easy, Raphael."

"But I'll do it. For you. I promise."

…

"But why are you leaving?" he asked, clearly shocked and hurt by the news.

"It's… about my father, Trigon. He's—I… I have demon blood," Raven replied.

"But what does _that_ have to do with anything?"

"…Raphael. Have you ever heard of something called… Paen?"

"No, what's that?"

"Huh, I didn't think so. The government wants to keep it a secret. It's so secretive that only Fathers, Ladies, and the highest professors know. The only reason I know is because… it involves me."

"But why are you leaving?"

"Because… I pose as a threat. Because of the threat Paen will bring."

"But what is "Paen"? And what does it have to do with you?"

Raven paused for a moment, then answered, "Paen is…"

…

Raven was lying on a hospital bed, surrounded by her four friends.

"Will she be ok?" Robin asked.

"We're… not so sure," replied the doctor. "Everything seems fine with her… except her pulse is dangerously slow. It's going as low as 20 beats per minute. It's a wonder how she's alive, really. Now how did this happen?"

Everyone looked at Beast Boy, who quietly answered, "She just fell. I can't explain it."

"Raven," said Starfire. "Please wake up. You are frightening all of us."

"Weird, this happenin' all of a sudden," said Cyborg.

"Hold on, we're scanning her brainwaves now. Holy—!"

The doctor seemed to panic slightly, and the Titans heard a few 'What is _that_'s, the occasional 'That can't be right!', and a 'Try it again, this is impossible!' As the Titans quickly turned towards the monitor, they saw in shock that every single portion of Raven's brain was completely red.

"Now I'm not sure if this is correct," stammered the doctor. "But the scan says that your friend is working every single part of her brain."

"Is that bad?" asked Robin.

"No… not really. I mean, it's just incredibly unusual. And by unusual I mean I've never seen anything like this before. I—I think you four should leave. We have to call in some specialists and run several more tests. Please leave right now. Someone call Dr. Ramoray! And Dr. Gast! I'm sorry, but if I ask you to leave, I mean **leave**."

…

Raven was in a coma for weeks. Every single day, her heart beat was dangerously slow, yet her brain waves were completely active. Every single day, the Titans visited her. Every single day, Beast Boy stared at her and didn't know what to do. She had broken up with him, but what was he to do now? What was he to do? What was he to think? What was he to feel? Her face—it was so still. Her eyes—they were locked away from him. What was he to do now? There is no criminal activity lately. The Titans seemed to be on vacation. Great. Now there wasn't a mission that would take Beast Boy's mind off of Raven. What was he to do now?

Beast Boy looked at her. Talk to her, he told himself. Better now than ever. Tell her anything.

"How come I'm all scared and stuff? The others have been in worse spots before… And all those times, I've never been so worried like this. Boy, have I changed.

"I wonder of the old me would say a stupid joke right about now. Probably.

"I wonder what the others are doing…

"Maybe they're worried, too. Maybe they're laughing at me. Maybe they're wondering what I'm doing talking to you when you're…

"Truth is, Raven. I'm always scared about what others think of me. I hate that side of me. That's way I always joke all the time. Make them think all I was was a stupid little jokester. Just a stupid little kid. It was easier for me when I knew that everyone thought of me that way. I—even came to believe it, too. But then you came, and you spoke to me. And you looked at me with those eyes. And suddenly, I—I lose myself. Or rather, I gain myself. I remember who I really am. But that's our little secret, got it?"

Beast Boy sighed. "What am I doing? It's like… like I'm talking to a wall."

He leaned closer and whispered to her, "Please wake up, Raven. We're all waiting for you. I'll be waiting for you right here. If you come here, you'll find me. I promise."

As he left to the beach, Beast Boy didn't notice the small tear drop that emerged from Raven's eyes and rolled down her cheek.

…

Terra walked down the docks toward the beach. It was a cloudy day today. She thought she might as well go to the beach on her lunch break. After all, since it was cloudy, the beach would be empty and she wouldn't have to deal with other people. As she crept closer towards the ocean, she could feel the hard concrete under her feet slowly turn into soft sand. Terra smiled. One of the happy moments.

Oh great, there's another person here, she noticed. Hmm, he looked strange. Who would want to wear those clothes? And what kind of hair _is_ that? It looked—green. What idiot would dye his hair that color? Heh, the same idiot that would wear those clothes…

Wait… was that?

Terra's heart leapt and tears fell from her eyes as she ran towards the figure on the beach. As she embraced his back, she hugged him tightly and dearly.

"Beast Boy, is that you? Please tell me that's you," she whispered.

"…Terra? Is that really you?" Beast Boy stammered. He looked down and his heart skipped a beat. Her hands. Those were her hands! Those were Terra's hands!

Beast Boy panted and turned around. Terra! Terra! Oh, it was Terra! Oh holy… Oh Heavens! This was… This was… Terra! He embraced her tightly, felt her arms wrapped around his, felt her soft hair… Terra! Terra! Beast Boy was in tears. Terra!

"Are you real?" he asked, fearful for the answer.

"As real as you are," she answered.

Words… could not describe what Beast Boy was feeling.

Tears of joy flooded his eyes. His arms and legs quivered like tiny branches and his lips trembled.

He had to hug her—to make sure she was real.

And she was.

…

Raven walked slowly to the beach, smiling. She had teleported out of the hospital to avoid being harassed by the doctors and security. No—she had to time for them. She needed to see Beast Boy now.

"Your voice," she said to herself, smiling. "It woke me up. I heard your voice in the silence, Beast Boy. And you told me… You promised me that if I come, I'll find you. And you saved me."

As she entered the beach, Raven grinned ear to ear. "This time, no more regrets, no more mistakes. I know for sure. Nothing could ever happen now. I will always be happy. No more regrets!"

And as she saw him, standing on the beach alone, she knew there would be no regrets. "Beast Boy!" Raven whispered.

But then she saw Terra. Terra ran to him. Terra embraced him. He embraced her. They laughed, they smiled, they cried.

Raven's smile faded away. She crept closer to listen. No, she thought. No.

She felt her heart smash against her chest.

"Are you real?" she heard Beast Boy ask.

"As real as you are," Terra replied.

"Beast Boy," Raven heard. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too."

"I've been so lonely… Ever since we last met. I've tried to find you so hard, but I couldn't bring myself to."

"Terra, it's ok. I'm here. I'll always be here for you. I'll always be with you, and I'll always be your friend. Don't you worry."

Raven saw Terra look up at Beast Boy in shock. "Just a friend, Beast Boy?"

Beast Boy seemed to hesitate, then answered, "There is another."

Terra stepped back. "What?"

Raven gasped, "Beast Boy…"

"There is someone else," Beast Boy said quietly.

Beast Boy didn't know what else to say. "There's someone else," he repeated. But was there? He and Raven were… over… right? Then why… He didn't know why he was saying this.

Terra was taken aback by the news. She seemed to hesitate and then looked down sadly at the sand. Without looking at Beast Boy, she extended her pinky towards him.

"You promised… to be there for me, always. Remember, Garfield? Whenever I needed you, you'd be there for me. You remember don't you? What happened to our promise, Garfield? Please tell me you remember!" Tears streamed down Terra's face."

What? What was she saying, Beast Boy thought. What "promise" is she talking about? Why did she call him—

Garfield.

Garfield.

"_Then…be there for me, always. Alright? Whenever I need you, be there for me. Promise?"_

Was that…?

"_Terra, how come no one else talks to you?"_

"_Nobody likes me, Garfield,"_

This seemed so…

"_How's that possible?"_

"_Then…be there for me, always. Alright? Whenever I need you, be there for me. Promise?"_

Familiar…

"_Do people still do this anymore?"_

Was it…

"_Garfield!"_

Terra…

Beast Boy stared at Terra. Terra… He remembered.

"Terra!" he cried as he wrapped his pinky around hers.

"Garfield?"

Raven stared at the two. He remembered… she thought. What was happening now?

Beast Boy grabbed Terra's face and…

And brought her lips to his.

Raven's heart stopped. Her hands tingled. Her mind went blank. Suddenly, Raven felt something surge throughout her body like electricity. But it was painful. Raven suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt her chest burn and her head explode.

_They were meant for each other._

No!

_He loves her._

Stop it!

_You were nothing to him._

Who's there?

_You are nothing to him!_

Who's there? Get out!

_He never loved you. He played with your heart._

Ahh! Ahhh!

_I smell blood._

No—ahhh!

_I smell death._

Get… out—awrgh!

_I live! Paen Lives!_

No, stop it! aawrgahh!

_PaeN iS ALiVE! ALL EXISTENCE DENIED!_

...I'm scared.

…

Beast Boy remembered everything. He remembered everything he had ever felt for Terra. All the memories they shared.

But then he heard… a scream.

What was that?

Beast Boy turned to see a figure in a blue cloak walking away slowly. Raven…?

"Raven!" he yelled, as he left Terra and ran towards the figure.

As he reached her, he noticed that something was very strange. And very wrong. She was moving so… erratically. "Raven?" he said as he reached out to her. But the second he touched her, he felt a powerful surge flow through him, knocking him back.

"Raven!"

Again he tried reaching her. Again he was knocked back by a powerful force. What was going on?

"Raven!"

He followed her with a beating heart until she stopped at the cliff where she and Beast Boy had their first date.

"Raven?" he asked cautiously.

He heard a voice come from Raven, but it was not her own. It seemed like a collection of voices, from the highest soprano to the lowest bass. It seemed like a scream and a whisper at the same time. And it said four words that Beast Boy would never forget, four ancient words that pierced his heart, four apocalyptic words that marked The End.

"FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC"

Then came Raven's voice, distorted and chaotic.

"PAEN IS ALIVE! ALL EXISTENCE DENIED!"

…

"But why are you leaving?"

"Because… I pose as a threat. Because of the threat Paen will bring."

"But what is "Paen"? And what does it have to do with you?"

Raven paused for a moment, then answered, "Paen is an ancient curse. The demons' curse. My curse. When demon becomes human. And all existence is marked for disappearance. Paen is I. I am Paen."

~Secrets in my Heart~


	11. Those Who Fight x Beast Boy

**To be honest, I did _not_ expect this chapter to be so long! Originally, it was very short, but I ended up improvising and adding some things along the way. Might take you a little while to read all of it, but enjoy! This story's almost coming to a close!**

* * *

><p>"<em>Beast Boy, I'm scared."<em>

"Raven!" yelled Beast Boy as he jerked up from his bed.

Where was he? What just happened?

"He's awake," he heard Robin say.

He saw the others gather around him.

"Beast Boy, are you alright? Are you injured?" Starfire said.

"We found you near the beach just lying there," Robin added.

Beast Boy soon recognized he was in the infirmary room in Titans Tower.

"Hmm, everything seems fine," Cyborg said.

"I'm fine, but Raven's in trouble."

"What? She's not in the hospital?" Robin asked.

"No she's—"

"Uhh guys?" Cyborg said, pointing to the TV. "You might wanna check this out."

As the Titans looked at the TV, they saw a news broadcast that showed a massive humanoid creature wearing a cloak walking in the ocean. Sprouting from the creature were black wings and white horns.

They heard the news anchor say, "…has been unresponsive. However, we do know that the Air Force and the Marines are on their way to Jump City right now. Several witnesses claim they saw some sort of black cloud emerge from the beach at around 3:18. The black cloud reportedly became larger and larger and took on the form of some kind of monster. We have tried contacting…"

"What _is_ that thing?" Starfire said.

"Titans," said Robin. "This is gonna be a tough one."

"Well we'd better get a move on," said Cyborg.

"Beast Boy, you stay here. We'll have to worry about Raven later. Alright, Titans GO!"

They left before Beast Boy could say anything.

Beast Boy stared at the TV. That cloak… looked just like Raven's.

That thing… whatever it was…

For some reason.

Somehow.

He knew it was Raven.

He… just knew.

He could feel it.

"Raven… I gotta… do something."

Quickly, he got out of the bed and hurriedly walked out of the infirmary and towards Raven's room. If something's wrong with Raven, he knew that something in her room would help. After all, when Trigon was starting to control her, he and Cyborg found Raven's mirror and ended up helping her defeat Trigon, at least temporarily. Beast Boy knew that there would be something in there that would help, something in there that would tell him what was happening to Raven.

As he entered her room, Beast Boy realized how hard this was going to be. The room was filled with all sorts of magical artifacts and books that he'll never find something useful in time. Beast Boy realized how difficult this was going to be. Well last time, he used the mirror, so maybe this time will work, too. Beast Boy walked towards Raven's desk and picked up her mirror.

"Alright," he said. "Here goes."

But nothing happened.

Weird… Last time, he only needed to touch it and that was good enough. Why didn't it work now? Beast Boy placed the mirror down and started looking around her desk. All he founded were some papers, notes, and books.

As he looked, he found a small note with two words written on it.

"Call Raphael," Beast Boy read out loud. "Huh, who's that?"

He tossed it aside and continued searching.

"Huh? Who are you?" he heard.

Startled, Beast Boy jumped backwards. What was that?

"Who are you? Where's Raven?" he heard again. As he looked back at the desk, he felt the blood drain from his face as he saw a face appear on Raven's vanity mirror.

"I said who are you?"

Beast Boy struggled to find words. "I—I'm Beast Boy. Raven's friend. Who are you?"

"Beast Boy, so you're…" the face said. "I'm Raphael. Raven's friend as well, from Azarath."

Beast Boy looked at the face. He seemed like around Beast Boy's age, maybe a little older.

"Why did you call me?" Raphael asked.

Again, Beast Boy didn't know what to say. It wasn't every day that he communicated with people from another world through a mirror.

"Raven's…" he said. "I don't know what's going on, but I think… Raven's turned into some kind of monster." He realized how stupid he sounded. Luckily, it seemed like Raphael believed him, and seemed to panic a little.

"A—a monster? Are you sure? Did you hear her say anything weird?"

"Uh—yeah," Beast Boy felt his heart pumping. "She, uh, she said something about pain being alive or something?" Beast Boy saw that Raphael immediately panicked upon hearing the word "pain." "Why? What? What's happening?"

"No, no, no, this can't—can't be happening. Raven." Raphael was sincerely worried.

"Why? What's going on?"

"I thought you'd be safe over there. No, it's my fault. I should've told her to—"

"What's wrong with Raven!" Beast Boy yelled. "And what's 'pain?'"

Raphael sighed and tried to explain himself. "Paen—it's… well I can't tell you everything. There's just way too much and I don't know half of it myself. But Raven told me…

"Paen is a curse placed on all demons 1000 years ago. It was to prevent them from becoming too strong and becoming a threat. Like Trigon. But he used Raven as—as a medium for his powers. Trigon managed to use Raven's humanity to avoid Paen and… I'm sorry, I'm making no sense, but I'm panicking… Raven… Ok. What you need to know is that there's something inside Raven called Paen. It works on her emotions. If Raven experiences a complete distress and her mind is completely overcome by—by anger, or sadness, or any kind of strong—very strong negative emotion, it will fuel Paen and make it stronger. Eventually, if Raven is completely overcome by that particular emotion, then Paen will… come alive. And Raven will become Paen. Raven will transform into a monster. And she'll… Well normally Paen would kill her, but since Raven isn't a demon and is instead such a powerful sorceress…"

"What? What happens?"

"Raven will… destroy all existence."

Beast Boy felt the air escape his lungs. Destroy all… all existence?

What to do? He had to stop her. But how?

And could he do it? Against _Raven_?

Against something that could destroy… all existence?

"Tell me what to do," Beast Boy said. "There has to be some way to stop her, right? Without hurting Raven?"

Raphael racked his mind for an answer. "Uh… It's said that the power of… magical crystals from Azarath is the only thing that can destroy Paen. Yes, that's it! The crystals! Every Father and Lady in Azarath has a crystal dagger to kill anyone they find with Paen!"

"Then I'll find Raven's…"

"No," Raphael replied. "A crystal dagger won't be good enough for Raven. I don't have time to explain why, but Raven's a special case. The only thing that can kill the Paen in Raven is the Crystal Sword in Azarath."

"Then how are we going to—?"

"…uh. I'll try to go get it. I'm a Brother so I'm allowed to be in the Temples. I'll try to convince them that Raven has transformed into Paen, and they'll allow me to get the sword. After that, I'll try to find a teleportation spell and I'll give it to you. Yes, I think that'll work!"

But there was one question Beast Boy didn't want to ask. One question he was hoping to avoid. One he didn't want the answer to. "Will… it kill her?"

"…I can't say for sure."

But I can't… Beast Boy thought. I can't kill… Raven.

"Beast Boy, if you don't stop her now, she'll destroy everything, including herself."

But can I? Against Raven?

Beast Boy nodded. "Good luck, Raphael."

The face nodded. "You too. I'm counting on you."

Beast Boy ran out the room. He had to warn the others. Quickly, he ran towards his room and hurriedly opened the window.

Before he jumped out, Beast Boy hesitated. "Warn the others, wait for Raphael to send the sword, kill Paen, and…" He had to. He'll find a way. Somehow he'll save Raven. Somehow.

"Somehow," he told himself as he jumped out the window and changed into a pterodactyl.

He heard Raven's voice say, "Beast Boy! Beast Boy!"

Don't worry, Raven, he thought. I'm coming. I'm coming to save you.

…

Raphael walked down the street towards the castle. Despite being a Brother, he doesn't go to Sector 1 often. As he walks along the road, he reminisces on the first time he snuck in here many years ago. The first time he met Raven. Much has happened since then. He had become a Brother, a nearly impossible feat considering how little he paid attention to his studies before. And now, Raven was a Lady.

And he and Raven have grown much closer. At first, they harbored a crush on each other. But later, as Raven was sent to another world and they communicated only through letters, Raphael and Raven transcended from attraction to sibling love. They no longer saw each other as attractive, but rather as brother and sister. And now his sister was in danger, and he needed to help her. No time for reminiscing; he had to act. Now.

As he entered the castle and began running up the stairs, Raphael desperately searched for a Father or Lady. But no—all he found were professors and a few monks. Where were they, he thought. Come on, anyone. Anyone!

As he rushed up the stairs, Raphael accidentally knocked into a short, stout woman. "Oh I'm terribly sorry," Raphael said. As he helped the woman up, he immediately recognized her. "Auntie!" he exclaimed.

"Raphael!" Seraphina replied. Seraphina was a close friend of Raphael's parents, and often smuggled cookies to him and Raven.

"Auntie, I'd love to talk, but I have urgent news," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Raven… she's become Paen."

"No!" cried Seraphina. "No, it can't be!"

"Auntie, I have to go get the Crystal Sword and send it to her friends on Earth right now. But I need someone to go warn the Fathers and Ladies."

"Oh, you know you can count on me. Don't you worry. Just go get the sword before it's too late." Seraphina said before dashing off.

As Raphael continued up the stairs, he didn't notice a man behind the shadows, a man who had been listening in. As he stepped out of the shadows, his stony face was lit up with a cracked smile.

…

Beast Boy flew towards the sounds of screams. Come on, Raven, he thought. Try to… hold back. Just try.

Within minutes, he was in sight of the monster—of Paen. Now he could clearly see what it looked like. It was wearing Raven's blue cloak, but it was much darker and seemed to be tattered and was blood red near the bottom edges. Two broad white horns sprout from its head with its tips also blood red. Protruding from its back were two very large angelic wings—angelic, but pitch black. The creature seemed to float—no, stand—on the water, and Beast Boy saw Starfire flying around firing starbolts at Paen while Cyborg and Robin were on a speedboat trying to attack it as well. Either way, the monster seemed to be unscathed by the Titans' attacks.

Beast Boy quickly dived down onto the speedboat. Cyborg and Robin begin asking him why did he come and that he should go back, but Beast Boy dismisses these, instead explaining to them what Raphael had told him.

"So what? We just wait for him to send this Crystal Sword thingy?" asked Cyborg.

"Yeah, he said that's the only thing that can stop this "Paen" thing."

"So what should _we_ do?" asked Robin.

Beast Boy shrugged. "'til then, not much. Make sure Raven stays away from the city, I guess."

"Speak o' the devil," Cyborg said as Paen began walking towards the city. It was done with the nuisance the Titans were bringing. It was ready to destroy.

"No! We can't let anybody get hurt!" cried Robin. "We have to go back and make sure everybody's evacuated!"

"Roger that."

"I'll go help Star," Beast Boy said, flying off.

Come on, Raphael, Beast Boy thought. Please hurry.

…

Raphael stood in front of the door to the Crystal Chamber, clutching a large spellbook in his hand. His heart beat furiously as he waited for Seraphina to come with a Father or a Lady to unlock the Crystal Chamber.

"Come on," he muttered. "Lives are at stake and these people can't learn to run?"

Finally, he heard footsteps behind him and was relieved to see Seraphina and Father Don Quixote behind her.

"Greetings, Father," Raphael said. "But hurry, we must be swift."

"Indeed," Father Don Quixote said as he stood towards the door.

The Father closed his eyes, furiously trying to remember the incantation. Finally, with a crisp, clear voice, the Father spoke the most impossible incantation Raphael had ever heard.

"Tibi Semper Audivit Lupus Clamor Ad Hyacintho Frumentum Luna

Aut Interrogavit Ridentem Hyaenae Quare Subridere

Potestis Omnes Voces Montes Laudabunt

Coloribus Pingere Potestis Omni Vento"

Raphael stared in awe as he saw the magnificent doors opened, revealing a shining light emanating from the chamber.

"Brother Raphael," Father Don Quixote said. "It is up to you now. Seraphina and I must go and warn the others. I trust you know the spell?" Raphael nodded. "Good. And may Azar be with us all."

Seraphina and the Father swiftly left.

Raphael turned back towards the chamber and walked in and was engulfed by the light that shone, not hearing the small footsteps behind him.

…

"Are you sure this creature is Raven?" Starfire shouted.

"Yeah, and we have to keep her away from the city for as long as possible!" shouted Beast Boy, who was clinging on to the creature's hood.

"But how?"

"Try to distract her!"

"How, Beast Boy? Distracting a creature as massive as this is like trying to wake a wyrmbil!"

Beast Boy let out a long sigh. He had no idea how to distract Raven, either, let alone wonder what a "wyrmbil" was.

"Oh, oh! Perhaps we shall sing a song of great merriment! That always wakes up wyrmbils! Maybe it will distract Raven!"

"Star, do you think Raven likes songs of merriment? If anything, that'll probably make her even madder."

Beast Boy racked his brain. What to do? What to do? Come on, Raven. Please try to hold back. Suddenly, Beast Boy knew what to do. If songs of merriment don't work, this might. It might work.

Beast Boy leaned his head towards the creature's, close enough so that the creature can hear him. And he sang.

"I know now that you're gone, I'll be alone.

Alone with memories, my very own.

Maybe someday you will return to me, my love.

But through the lonely years,

I'll cry these lover's tears."

Suddenly, the beast stopped moving. It seemed to concentrate on that song, like it was hypnotized. Like it wanted to hear it. It was working! Quickly, Beast Boy continued.

"I think of all the joy I used to know,

But now this happiness we share no more.

I long for your embrace, your tender kiss—a moment of bliss.

But for now I'll have to cry

These lover's tears."

"Raven," Beast Boy said. "I know you're in there!"

"Come back to me once more my love

And please never leave me again.

Until that day, I'll wait for you.

'Til then my love, I know I'll never be the same.

Wherever you may be, please hear this plea,

Come back and end these tears of misery

I long for your embrace, your tender kiss—a moment of bliss,

So through the lonely years

I'll cry these lover's tears."

…

Raphael stepped on hard rock. As he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find that the chamber was fashioned like an ancient cave. It was completely empty, and was somewhat small. In the center of the room lie an altar of sorts, and floating in the air above the altar was a sword. The sword had a golden handle with various runes on it, and its blade was long and completely made of crystal. The light seemed to emit from the blade, itself.

"The Crystal Sword..." said Raphael as he walked towards it. As he reached out and grabbed it, he could feel its power surge through him. As he held it closer to him, the bright light dimmed and his eyes flashed for a second.

"The most powerful sword, created by the most powerful sorcerers."

"If only it were in more… capable hands," said a voice behind him.

Raphael quickly turned around in shock and saw Seymour smirking at him.

"Seymour," Raphael said. "Look, as much as I'd love to stay and "talk" to you, Raven's in danger. She's become Paen."

Seymour frowned. He knew what the word "talk" meant.

"And I'm pretty sure you know what that means, so I have to send her friends the Crystal Sword."

"But why would you do that?" Seymour asked coolly.

"What? Why? Because Paen'll destroy everything if I don't, that's why!"

Seymour smiled. "Exactly."

"Wha—Are you insane? What's wrong with you? You want everything to disappear?"

Seymour smiled and turned around. "What happens after we die, may I ask? What awaits us on the other side?"

Raphael placed the Crystal Sword on the ground and opened his spellbook, searching for the teleportation spell. He had no time for this.

"They say it is Paradise. The Promised Land. The Other Side. A world much greater than ours. And I ask you: who wouldn't want that?"

Raphael whispered some incantations and smiled as a circle of light appeared around him and the sword.

"And so," said Seymour, spinning around and extending his hand. "I shall deliver my people, and everyone in existence!" The sword flew upwards and landed in Seymour's hand. "Using Paen, I shall deliver my people to Paradise!"

"No!" cried Raphael, jumping out of the circle. "Don't be crazy! We have to stop it! We have to stop Paen!"

"Who's the crazy one?" asked Seymour as he lifted the sword in the air. As he slashed the air with the sword, a beam of light shot out of it and landed squarely on Raphael's spellbook, turning it into a pile of ashes and pages on fire.

Raphael gulped and hurriedly jumped out of the way of another beam.

"Stop it, Seymour!"

As Seymour charged at Raphael with the sword, the latter swiftly dodged the weapon. He had to get the sword to Earth. To save his sister.

Come on, Raphael, he thought. Think of something.

As Seymour charged and him once more, Raphael concentrated and shouted with all his might, "Alligamentum!"

Suddenly, Seymour stopped moving and dropped the sword. "It worked?" Raphael asked, surprised.

But he spoke too soon; Seymour immediately broke free of the spell and snickered. "Binding spell, eh? Too elementary. Don't you forget I am a professor! A professor of magic! And do you really expect simple spells such as those to have any effect on me? How dare you!

"Alligamentum!"

Seymour again was frozen, but struggled free in a second.

"Poor you. You'll see Raven again, I promise. When you're both dead."

"ALLIGAMENTUM!" Raphael shouted with all his strength.

Seymour again was bound, but this time, Raphael continued concentrating on the spell. He will not let Seymour go this time. Not yet.

But again, within seconds, Seymour broke free.

"Give up!" the man said. "It's no use! Paen will send us all very, very soon."

"No…" Raphael whispered as he lunged forward and tackled the man. If he couldn't stop him with magic, brute force will have to do.

"No! Let me go!"

"Never…"

Seymour fought back furiously. If they were teenagers again, Seymour wouldn't have been able to put up a fight, but now they were adults in their early twenties. Years of studying magic often required physical work, resulting in Seymour gaining some muscle.

Both men fought with all their strength, but the vigorous tenacity of love, always so much stronger than hate, prevailed. In their struggle, Raphael kicked the sword into the circle and a bright light flashed.

"No!" screamed Seymour.

But Raphael still held on tightly and firmly, but could now rest easy. The power of love, love for his best friend, his sister, just might be enough to save the world.

…

"Come on, Raven," Beast Boy muttered.

While the song slowed Paen down tremendously, it didn't stop it from slowly floating towards the shore. Now it had reached it, and was "waking up" from the hallucination.

Paen, now fully awake, let out a roar and flung Beast Boy off its head. Beast Boy flew in the air, quickly changed into a turtle, and landed safely on the top of a building.

As he morphed back, he saw the Titans begin to bombard the massive creature again.

Lying on the building, Beast Boy thought of what to do.

"Raphael, hurry," he said.

And then…

He thought of her.

He didn't know why, but he just did.

Wondering what she was doing. Wondering if she was alright.

He thought of…

Beast Boy heard a _clang_ next to him and he opened his eyes to see a sword with a gold hilt and a crystal blade next to him. The Crystal Sword! Raphael did it!

Smiling, Beast Boy grabbed the sword and ran towards the edge of the building and started to wave the sword in the air, making sure the other Titans knew he had it. The other Titans saw it, and so did Paen.

Upon seeing its nemesis, the Crystal Sword, Paen seemed to unleash a cry of fear. Slowly, its body slumped backwards and allowed the cloak to fall off. The top half of the dark blue cloak fell and sagged at the waist. Now that the monster only wore the bottom half of the cloak, the cloak resembled a dress. Now that its cloak was off, Beast Boy could see the monster with his own eyes.

Paen looked like a fusion between Raven and a beast, albeit both were humongous. Raven's legs could now be seen under her cloak, and was covered in red markings. Additionally, her feet were very black and were beast-like. Raven is still wearing her skin-tight leotard, but a small strip seemed to be torn off down the middle of her chest from her neck to her waist. Raven's arms were crossed across her chest and also had the red markings visible on her legs. In addition, they did not move and her hands seemed to fuse into her shoulders. Protruding directly above her shoulders were Paen's arms. These arms were large, black, and very muscular, and its hands had claws instead of fingers. However, its face seemed to be the most horrifying. The bottom half of Raven's face was the same, with the exception of her cheeks, which had two red lines that went halfway from her ears to her mouth, and her lips, which were as red as blood. However, the top part of her face was not human, but like a beast. It resembled the top part of a lion's head from its muzzle and was completely black, with the exception of its menacing red eyes. Its mane was pure white and fell to its waist like human hair. Along with its two white horns, it sported three black horns on its head—two sprouting horizontally from its temples and the last directly upwards from the top of its head.

This was Paen in its true form.

Beast Boy knew he had to attack it. Now.

"Guys!" he shouted. "Omega Lift!"

The others understood the signal and went into formation. Starfire grabbed Cyborg and flew upwards near Beast Boy while Robin climbed up Paen's arm towards its shoulder.

As Starfire dropped Cyborg, Beast Boy jumped off the cliff and grabbed the falling Cyborg's hand. Cyborg then, with all his energy, flung Beast Boy upwards towards Paen. As Beast Boy flew up, his hand was grabbed by Starfire, who also flung him higher and even closer. Finally, Robin jumped off Paen's shoulder and grabbed Beast Boy's hand. "Good luck," he said as he flung Beast Boy directly towards Paen's head. As Beast Boy, flew towards the massive creature, he clutched the sword with both hands.

"Raven, I'm coming."

Beast Boy slashed the sword across Paen's face.

And fell into the darkness that spewed forth.

…

_Where… am I?_

_How long have I been down here?_

_Who am I?_

_Why am I here?_

…_?_

_Maybe I should just… stop._

_And… sleep._

_And just… disappear._

And then he thought of her.

Of her face.

He thought of her, but he didn't know why.

Weren't they… over?

But still, he thought of her.

Will he ever see her again?

Wait! What was he doing? He had to save Raven!

His heart said…

But his mind said…

He had to go save her.

Raven!

"Raven!" cried Beast Boy.

Beast Boy gasped. Where was he? He looked around and all he saw was… darkness.

He saw that he was floating in what seemed like nothing, like he was in space.

He twisted and turned trying to find something, anything.

"Am I… dead?"

And then he saw her, floating in the air.

"Raven!" he cried.

But she didn't respond.

Why couldn't she hear him?

Was she… dead?

No!

"No, Raven! Raven! Can you hear me! Raven!" Beast Boy shouted.

"Don't be dead…"

~Secrets in my Heart~


	12. Those Who Fight x Raven

_Raven's Journal – Paen Revealed_

_After days of researching all the books that Professor Carta had sent me, I believe I have fully discovered what Paen is._

_Paen is a curse placed on all demons after the Sorcerer-Demon War in the year 1000 B.C. It was a curse created by the powerful sorcerer Leon in order to prevent the demons from being too powerful and becoming a threat to the worlds once more. Paen was meant to weaken any demon that became too strong. If the demon resisted Paen and posed as a threat, Paen would instantly kill the demon. It was a very powerful curse and kept the demons at bay for over 3000 years._

_Perhaps the curse was too powerful. While I am sure Sorcerer Leon only meant for the curse to be inflicted on demons, humans can be inflicted with the curse as well. Should a human venture into the depths of the Underworld and they are attacked and bitten by a demon, the demon's fangs would inject poison into the human's bloodstream. The poison can be cured easily, but inside the poison is a remnant of the curse. Should a human be bitten by a demon, that human would be infected with Paen. However, only the monks and scholars of Azarath have access to the Underworld._

_Normally, a human inflicted with Paen would just die a painful death. But what if a monk was infected? What if a human with magical capabilities like Brothers or Ladies were to be infected? If that were the case, the Paen would cause insanity and would slowly consume the person in question. If given enough time, Paen would cause the person to slowly transform into a monstrous beast, and then die very painfully._

_Fortunately, Sorcerer Leon had foreseen the possibility of Paen being misused. To prevent the possibility that demons would somehow use Paen to work in their favor, Sorcerer Leon, with the power of several other sorcerers and sorceresses, created a magical sword made of the purest crystal—the Crystal Sword. This sword had power to slay anything in its path, and was created especially for demons. This powerful sword is now being kept in the Crystal Chamber in Azarath Castle and can only be unlocked by a Father or Lady. For the sake of portability, every Father or Lady has in his/her possession a crystal dagger—a smaller facsimile of the Crystal Sword. While weaker, it is still capable of killing anything infected with Paen._

_When a demon—or a person—is killed by the Crystal Sword, they are sent into an Inter-Dimensional Void, where they will eventually fade to nothingness. They will completely disappear. Exactly what else happens I do not know. _

_Trigon was the first demon to cheat Paen. He knew that if he attacked the worlds, he would have surely been killed by Paen. But how did he manage to evade the powerful curse? The answer lies within me. Trigon had used me as the gate for him to escape his inter-dimensional prison. He used me—my humanity—as a shield to protect himself from Paen._

_But now there exists another threat—me. Because demon blood courses through my veins, I, too, have been inflicted with Paen. Unlike other people who have been infected through demon bites, I have inherited it. This means the Paen in me is much, much more powerful than the ones in those infected by demon bite._

_Paen was never meant to be in humans, least of all a powerful sorceress like me. The Paen in me is tenfold what it was meant to be in demons. While it simply weakens demons, it nearly kills me. While it is merely a curse in demons, it is a sentient force in my mind. And if it kills demons as a last resort, what will Paen do to me?_

_Paen's purpose was to keep demons from becoming too powerful. If negative emotions like anger, sadness, or hatred fuel my darker, much more dangerous powers, then surely Paen would be connected in the same way. I have come to the conclusion that whenever I feel strong negative emotions, Paen would instantly react. If a negative emotion is strong enough, Paen will sense that I am a threat and consume me. And turn me into a monstrous creature._

_But what worries me most is what will happen then? If it kills demons as a last resort, what will happen to me? Would Paen just kill me? Would Paen destroy the world? No. Paen will destroy all existence._

Raven opened her eyes. She saw she was in a red-orange abyss. Everywhere around her looked like flames.

"Where… am I?" she wondered aloud.

"YOU'RE IN YOUR MIND," she heard.

"Who's there?" Raven demanded.

"YOU ARE PAEN NOW. WE'VE TAKEN OVER YOUR BODY. WE WILL ELIMINATE THIS THREAT TO THE WORLDS."

Panting in fear, Raven looked all around her. No one was there.

"EXISTENCE WILL CEASE TO EXIST."

Raven turned around to see a figure wearing a blue cloak staring at her. As the figure removed its hood, Raven saw in shock that the figure was her.

"You're… me?" she asked.

The Other Raven smirked. "WE ARE YOU," it confirmed. "REALITY IS HARSH, IS IT NOT?"

The Other Raven extended its hand and, in a flash of light, a crystalline sword appeared in its hand. Unlike the Crystal Sword in Azarath, however, this sword was dark and cracked and emitted darkness.

"No!" Raven cried as she charged at the Other Raven. With ease, a single swipe from the Other Raven's sword sent Raven flying.

As Raven crashed into the ground, she heard sneering and maniacal laughing around her. She got up and looked around to see thousands of demons gathering around her. They all snickered and laughed in glee as they began their chant, "Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec." Once again, the Other Raven struck Raven with the sword, forcing the latter to fall to the ground. "BOW BEFORE US!" it cried.

Raven panted hard with her knees and hands on the ground. The pain surged everywhere throughout her body like she was on fire. As she lifted her head and glared at the figure in front of her, she saw the shadowy sword pointing at her, inches from her face. The Other Raven smirked and said simply, "IT ENDS NOW. THIS WORLD WILL FALL JUST LIKE COUNTLESS OTHERS." Raven grunted as the Other Raven laughed at her face. "WORLDS STAINED WITH DEMON BLOOD ARE DOOMED TO NOTHINGNESS." Raven could hear the demons around her as their chant grew into a shout, "FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC." Over and over again the demons shouted the ancient curse that prefigures death. Raven knew it was all over. She knew her friends could not possibly stop it—could not possibly stop her. Her pain was too much for her to stop the Other Raven, either. She felt a tear on her cheek. Wasn't seeing him smile good enough? "FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC. FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC. FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC."

It was all over.

But then, Raven heard a still, small voice, not from the demons or the Other Raven. The voice felt close, yet far away at the same time.

"I know now that you're gone, I'll be alone.

Alone with memories, my very own.

Maybe someday you will return to me, my love.

But through the lonely years,

I'll cry these lover's tears."

That song… Beast Boy's song!

"I think of all the joy I used to know,

But now this happiness we share no more.

I long for your embrace, your tender kiss—a moment of bliss.

But for now I'll have to cry

These lover's tears."

"Beast Boy…" Raven whispered. He was there. He was fighting for her. She understood now. It didn't matter if they could do it or not. It didn't matter if her friends could stop it. She'll fight to the very end. Beast Boy… he gave her strength. Even if they stop, Raven will never stop fighting.

With all her strength, Raven lunged forward and tackled the Other Raven. As the Other Raven quickly recuperated, Raven shot dark fireballs at her counterpart. As the Other Raven blocked them with its sword, Raven continued bombarding it. The Other Raven jumped out of the way and quickly sprinted towards Raven. The Other Raven swung the sword downwards, but the blade was caught between Raven's two hands.

"FIGHTING US IS FUTILE," said the Other Raven. "WE ARE STRONGER, MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE. WE WILL ELIMINATE THIS THREAT LIKE WE HAVE. WE SHALL VANQUISH THE DEMON BLOOD AND ALL WORLDS! NOW SUBMIT!"

Raven cried out. The Other Raven was too strong and the blade was creeping towards her face. She pushed with all her might, trying to get the sword away from her, but it was all in vain. The Other Raven laughed. Then cackled. Then shrieked. Then screamed. But it was a scream of agony. Raven quickly looked up at the Other Raven and saw light emitting from a single line across its face. The Other Raven quickly placed one hand on its face in pain.

The Crystal Sword, Raven thought. They've done it.

"THE CRYSTAL SWORD! IT CANNOT BE!" the Other Raven cried in agony.

Seeing that the Other Raven was distracted, Raven, still holding onto the blade of the sword, pulled it from the Other Raven's grasp and quickly stabbed the Other Raven's chest. As the Other Raven cried out in pain, Raven grabbed the handle and pushed it further into her counterpart's chest until the blade came out of its back. Screeching in pain, the Other Raven stepped backwards, grabbing both wounds on its face and chest, until it fell forwards and dissipated in smoke.

Raven, relieved and overjoyed that she and the other Titans managed to destroy Paen, suddenly felt very weary. Grabbing her head, Raven suddenly felt like all the energy was drained from her and fell to the ground. Lying face up, Raven felt the ground melt away under her and saw the abyss change from a red-orange to an empty black. She felt the fires around her disappear and were replaced by a strange sense of emptiness.

Raven knew where she was. She was in the Void, the inter-dimensional realm of non-existence. A realm where nothing exists and anything that falls in it will slowly cease to exist as well. Raven remembered her studies. Absolutely nothing can exist in this realm.

The only time someone can survive in here was if two people think of each other. When two people think of their friendship, and the bond that they share. As the two people think of each other, they help each other maintain their existence.

But there was no one here but Raven. In minutes, she'll forget that she existed. Within an hour, she'll cease to exist.

I guess… that's it, she thought. There's nothing else. Nobody can save me now.

At least… I know everyone's alright.

At least I know Beast Boy's safe.

Am I… gonna make it…?

How?

I can't do… anything.

Drifting… endlessly.

I'm helpless.

No…

I'm…

That's it.

I'm gonna…

I don't want to…

…I'm gonna…

…die.

Raven remembered Beast Boy. And thought about him. All the memories they shared together. She thought about him more than anything. She didn't hear him calling out her name behind her.

I'll miss you.

"Raven!"

I'll think of you.

"Raven, it's me!"

…til the end, Beast Boy.

"Oh please don't be dead."

I can almost hear your voice…

"Raven! I'm here!"

You make me… happier than I thought I could be.

"Raven! Please listen to me!"

And I've tried to hide it from you for years now…

"Raven! Please!"

But it's over now.

"Raven!"

Goodbye…

"Raven! No!"

…Beast Boy.

Raven, with these dying words in her mind, let her breath escape her.

…

Beast Boy drifted through towards Raven, still shouting her name. Why didn't she respond? Could she hear him?

Was she… dead?

Finally, he reached her and caught her in his arms.

"Raven," he said. "Raven, wake up. I'm here. Raven!"

He thought of Raven and why didn't she wake up.

"Raven, please!" he shouted.

He didn't have time to notice if she was breathing or not.

He couldn't feel a heartbeat.

In tears, Beast Boy hugged Raven with all his might.

…

Raven was silent.

Utter silence.

Peaceful silence.

…I'm still…alive?

Raven's eyes opened ever so slightly and she saw Beast Boy holding her.

…Beast Boy.

He's… here.

Raven smiled. Beast Boy came to me… He came for me…

Then Raven realized that if Beast Boy was here, then he was thinking about her.

Just as she thought of him as she thought she was dying, Beast Boy must have been thinking of her. That's why she was still alive. They helped each other exist. And now, that the Void can't swallow them into nothingness, they would be transported out. They would escape!

…

Beast Boy then felt a warmth come from Raven.

As he opened his eyes, Beast Boy saw a light emerge from her chest. The light grew brighter and brighter and engulfed them both. As the light faded, Beast Boy and Raven disappeared.

…

I know now, Raven thought.

No matter how difficult it would be, no matter what stands in the way, there will always be a way.

There will be dangers, but she will always take the risk.

As long as she had Beast Boy…

She and Beast Boy had survived all this, somehow.

Paen was gone.

Paen no longer controlled her.

She was free now, because of Beast Boy.

Now they were going home.

As Raven and Beast Boy flew back to Earth in the burst of light, she couldn't help but smile.

In the end, everything was good.

No matter what the dangers, there is always a way.

In the end…

All was good.

~Secrets in my Heart~


	13. Not The End x Beast Boy

**Title of this chapter says it all. The end is very near, but is not yet here.**

* * *

><p>Beast Boy felt like he was dreaming. Where was he? What was happening? All he knew was he was surrounded by light. Warm, everlasting light. With her. Beast Boy smiled and hugged her tightly while stroking her long blonde hair.<p>

As Beast Boy heard the sounds of people talking, he opened his eyes and saw that he was hugging Raven in the middle of the street. He looked up and saw that the other Titans were surrounding him.

"Beast Boy, you have returned!" cried Starfire.

"And thank God Raven's with you. What happened?" asked Robin.

"I—ahh, I'm not so sure myself," Beast Boy admitted.

"Aww who cares?" said Cyborg. "As long as you two are back and ok, who needs to know the details, am I right?"

"Yeah," Beast Boy said, smiling. "But still, it was pretty weird. Where was I?"

It was weird, Beast Boy thought. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop thinking about—

"I can answer that question," said a familiar voice.

The Titans turned around to see a mysterious figure dressed in a maroon military-like uniform. While Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire stared confusingly at the stranger, Beast Boy instantly recognized him as Raphael.

"You guys were in the Inter-dimensional Void. It's almost a miracle that you two came back alive. Hi, you must be the Teen Titans," Raphael asked. "I'm Broth—er, Lieutenant Raphael. I'm Raven's friend from Azarath."

"Lieutenant?" Beast Boy asked, chuckling. "When'd _that_ happen?"

"Ah, after the arrest of Professor Seymour, I was promoted to lieutenant by the High Lady Azar," Raphael replied, smiling proudly. "It's quite an honor, and it suits me more than Brother."

"So you're the one who sent us the Crystal Sword, right?" asked Robin, who was holding the sword. "You have our thanks."

As Robin gave Raphael back the sword, Raphael replied, "No thanks necessary, Robin. I wanted to protect Raven. She's been like a sister to me."

Raphael walked towards Raven's sleeping body and gently stroked her cheek. "As much as I'd like to stay," he sighed. "I have to be at Seymour's trial in a few minutes."

"Oh yeah," Beast Boy said. "What are they gonna do to the creep?"

"Dunno. He probably won't be very lucky, though. Alright I gotta go now. I'll come back as soon as I can, alright?"

As the Titans said their goodbyes, Raphael muttered a couple incantations and disappeared in a flash of light.

As the Titans began talking to each other about how much damage was done to the city, Beast Boy gazed at Raven's still face.

Peaceful silence.

Beast Boy laid her down on the ground and stood up. He told the others to tell Raven to meet him at the cliff. While they said they didn't know where the "cliff" was, he assured them that Raven knew and then he ran off. There was someone he needed to talk to.

Beast Boy ran towards the beach and found the person he was looking for staring at the ocean.

"Terra," he said as he walked towards her.

"Garfield," she replied sullenly.

"We need to talk."

"Why? There's already… "someone else," right?"

"Yeah, but… there's something I need to know. Something that… I couldn't quite understand."

"Yes, Garfield?"

"We promised… on the beach that we'd always stick together. That we'd always be together, right? Then… how come you betrayed us and helped Slade?"

Tears rushed out of Terra's eyes. "No, that… wasn't me. That—I can't explain it. I'm not even sure myself. Slade had… some kind of influence over me. He clouded my mind. He made me forget so much. I tried fighting back, but he forced me, somehow, to forget so much. When I finally had the strength to fight back, when the volcano was about to erupt… you came to me. You told me it was too late. That was when I remembered. That's when I remembered our promise. I wasn't there for you when I betrayed you, so I knew I had to sacrifice myself… to repay my debt. If you didn't remember the promise we made, at least I would. At least I'd be there for you."

"And when you came back to life," Beast Boy said. "I wasn't there for you, was I?"

"It's not your fault," she said. "You tried to be there, but I pushed you away. I wanted to start over. But I realized that I couldn't start over, not when you're still in my heart.

"The truth is, I love you Beast Boy," Terra said. "I love you so much!"

"Terra…" Beast Boy said. "There's something you need to know. Something I don't understand, myself. When I was out there, saving Raven, when I was fighting that giant monster, when I was saving Raven from this Void thing, I kept thinking of someone, and it wasn't who I thought it'd be," Beast Boy whispered.

"It… was you, Terra."

Beast Boy's memories came back to him.

"_Come on, Raven," Beast Boy muttered._

_Lying on the building, Beast Boy thought of what to do._

"_Raphael, hurry," he said._

_And then…_

_He thought of her._

_He didn't know why, but he just did._

_Wondering what she was doing. Wondering if she was alright._

_He thought of…_

_Terra._

_Maybe I should just… stop._

_And… sleep._

_And just… disappear._

_And then he thought of her._

_Of her face._

_He thought of her, but he didn't know why._

_Weren't they… over?_

_But still, he thought of her._

_Will he ever see her again?_

_Wait! What was he doing? He had to save Raven!_

_His heart said…_

_But his mind said…_

_His heart said Terra._

_But his mind said Raven._

_He had to go save her._

_Beast Boy felt like he was dreaming. Where was he? What was happening? All he knew was he was surrounded by light. Warm, everlasting light. With her. Beast Boy smiled and hugged her tightly while stroking her long blonde hair._

_Her long blond hair…_

…

I don't know why, Beast Boy thought. But I kept thinking of Terra.

"I kept thinking of you, Terra," he said. "All those times we were together, all those memories we shared." Terra smiled through her tears.

"But now… there is someone else," he stammered as Terra's smile quickly faded.

"And I don't want to mess up what I have with her. I don't want to lose her. I'm sorry."

Terra shook her head. "It's alright," she said. "I'll never give you up, Garfield. You can be sure of that."

Terra looked up and stared into his eyes. "I'll always be here, waiting for you. I'll always love you. And I'll never give you up."

Beast Boy sighed and hugged her tightly. He tried hard to fight back the tears and he could tell Terra was as well.

"I… will never forget this. The way you're holding me, the way you smell, the way you look at me, I'll remember them. Always."

Beast Boy hugged her tightly and didn't want to let her go.

…

Beast Boy sat on the cliff and stared out to the ocean. Where was she? She should've been awake by now. It's been half an hour. Maybe she wasn't awake yet, Beast Boy decided. He should go back and check on her.

Beast Boy transformed into a hawk and quickly flew back towards the site where the Titans were talking to some reporters. As he landed and reverted, he noticed that Raven was gone. Beast Boy walked up to Robin, who was talking to a reporter.

"Hey Robin, where's Raven?" he asked.

As Robin dismissed the reporters, he replied, "What? She's not with you?"

"No, I've been waiting for her for like half an hour now. Did you give her the message?"

"Yeah, we did. She woke up and left right after you did."

"But she's not there."

"You mean… she's gone?"

As Starfire and Cyborg approached them, Beast Boy said, "Raven's gone."

…

Immediately after shooing away the reporters, the four Titans scoured the city for their lost friend.

Starfire and Beast Boy searched through the skies, Robin through his motorcycle, and Cyborg through his car. After nearly an hour of searching, Beast Boy still couldn't find any sign of Raven.

Eventually, Beast Boy stopped by the pizza parlor to see if Raven was there, but was shocked to instead find Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg sitting, laughing, and eating pizza.

Upon seeing Beast Boy, Cyborg shouted, "There he is!"

"Where have you been, Beast Boy?" Robin asked.

"We have been searching for you!" Starfire followed.

Beast Boy was lost for words. What were they doing!?

"Looking for me? Looking for me!? What are you guys doing here? Are you crazy!?"

"Whoa, whoa, Beast Boy," Cyborg responded casually. "Calm down, we're having veggie pizza. We know you don't like us eating meat."

What? What!? Beast Boy screamed in his mind, dumbstruck.

"What the FREAK are you guys doing!? Why aren't you looking for Raven? You're supposed to be looking for her, all of you! Our best friend is missing and you guys want to eat pizza? What's the matter with you!?" Beast Boy shouted.

"Beast Boy, Beast Boy, hold on," Robin said. "Who's Raven?"

Utter silence.

"Wha—what?" Beast Boy said softly, confused. "Raven? She's our friend. Our best friend! She's a Teen Titan, she's part of us!"

"Beast Boy," Cyborg said. "We don't know any Raven."

"Is this an imaginary friend of yours?" Starfire asked.

"What? No! She's a real person and she's been our friend for years!" Beast Boy said. He spotted a newspaper on another table and snatched it, flipping to the section where the Teen Titans were in. Having found it, he shoved it in Robin's face.

"Read it!" he shouted.

Robin sighed. "A bank heist foiled yet again," he read. "Seven masked villains from the crime group known as the Jade Syndicate attempted to rob a bank last Thursday night, but was caught and captured by the Teen Titans, four young adults with superhuman abilities: Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy."

What? Beast Boy grabbed the paper out of Robin's hands and read the section to himself. And he saw with his own eyes that Robin had read it right. "…captured by the Teen Titans, four young adults with superhuman abilities: Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy." Right under those words was a photo of them posing together, but Raven was missing. No, it can't be. Beast Boy distinctly remembered that Raven had helped stop the heist. He remembered that Raven stood between him and Starfire. But between him and Starfire in the photo was just an empty gap.

What was happening?

Beast Boy dropped the paper onto the table and walked away, ignoring the other Titans' remarks.

He didn't know what was going on. He just knew he had to find Raven.

Beast Boy ran towards places where he thought Raven might be. He searched again at the cliff, then at the beach, but Raven wasn't there. He then decided to look at the club where he and Raven had their first dance.

Beast Boy went to the Jackal and quickly walked in while the guard was distracted. He walked towards the bartender.

"Uh hi," Beast Boy said. "I don't know if you remember me or not. I was here a couple nights ago?"

The bartender snorted and replied, "Oh yeah, I remember _you_. You little weirdo."

Beast Boy was taken slightly aback but quickly ignored the random insult.

"Great, so you remember the girl who came with me? The girl I danced with? Have you seen her?"

"Whoa, wait little fella," the bartender said. "What're you talking about?"

"The… girl I was with. The girl who danced with me. Did she come in here today?" Beast Boy repeated slowly.

Again, the bartender snorted and turned around. "You freak. From beginning to end, you were dancing by yourself."

Beast Boy didn't know what to say. Dancing… by myself? That's impossible, he thought. As he stepped back in confusion, he knocked into girl. Turning around, he quickly apologized to the girl.

"Hey I remember you," she replied. "You're kinda cute. And hey, next time, if you need a partner, just ask me, alright?"

As the girl left, Beast Boy again struggled to gather his thoughts.

No, he thought. What was happening? What was going on?

Quickly, he walked out and ran towards the music store. Maybe Raven was there. Or maybe someone there will say something even weirder.

As Beast Boy walked in the music store, he went straight to the salesclerk.

"Do you remember me?" Beast Boy demanded.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," the salesclerk replied lazily.

"Do you remember the girl who came in here with me? Please tell me you have."

"Uh… Oh yeah I did, yeah."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" Beast Boy sighed in relief. He wasn't going crazy after all.

"Yeah, blonde girl? Blue eyes? Real hottie. She came in after you left and said she was looking for you. Said her name was… Terra, right?"

Beast Boy's heart sank and he left the store. Where was she? Where was Raven? Beast Boy tried looking at Titans Tower. That was the last place in the city he hadn't looked.

…

Beast Boy barged into Raven's room.

But it wasn't Raven's room.

Where Raven's bed used to be, a treadmill now stood. Her desk was replaced with a sound system. The books on her shelves were gone and now had weights.

What's going on? Beast Boy shouted in frustration.

Beast Boy ran throughout the entire tower, with no sign of Raven.

Beast Boy went towards his room, the only room he hadn't checked yet. Holding his breath, he opened the door…

And let out a sigh of disappointment. Raven was nowhere to be found.

Frustrated and tired, Beast Boy collapsed into his chair and rested his head on his desk.

What was going on? Was he dreaming? Why doesn't anyone seem to remember Raven, he wondered as memories flooded his mind.

"_Hey Robin, where's Raven?" he asked._

_As Robin dismissed the reporters, he replied, "What? She's not with you?"_

"_No, I've been waiting for her for like half an hour now. Did you give her the message?"_

"_Yeah, we did. She woke up and left right after you did."_

"_But she's not there."_

"_You mean… she's gone?"_

_Starfire and Beast Boy searched through the skies, Robin through his motorcycle, and Cyborg through his car. After nearly an hour of searching, Beast Boy still couldn't find any sign of Raven._

"_What the FREAK are you guys doing!? Why aren't you looking for Raven? You're supposed to be looking for her, all of you! Our best friend is missing and you guys want to eat pizza? What's the matter with you!?" Beast Boy shouted._

"_Beast Boy, Beast Boy, hold on," Robin said. "Who's Raven?"_

"_Wha—what?" Beast Boy said softly, confused. "Raven? She's our friend. Our best friend! She's a Teen Titan, she's part of us!"_

"_Beast Boy," Cyborg said. "We don't know any Raven."_

"_Seven masked villains from the crime group known as the Jade Syndicate attempted to rob a bank last Thursday night, but was caught and captured by the Teen Titans, four young adults with superhuman abilities: Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy."_

"_Whoa, wait little fella," the bartender said. "What're you talking about?"_

"_The… girl I was with. The girl who danced with me. Did she come in here today?" Beast Boy repeated slowly._

_Again, the bartender snorted and turned around. "You freak. From beginning to end, you were dancing by yourself."_

"_Hey I remember you," she replied. "And hey, next time, if you need a partner, just ask me, alright?"_

_As Beast Boy walked in the music store, he went straight to the salesclerk._

"_Do you remember me?"_

"_Uh, yeah. Sure."_

"_Do you remember the girl who came in here with me? Please tell me you have."_

"_Uh… Oh yeah I did, yeah."_

"_Thank you! Thank you so much!"_

"_Yeah, blonde girl? Blue eyes? Real hottie. She came in after you left and said she was looking for you. Said her name was… Terra, right?"_

Beast Boy struggled to understand what all this meant. He racked his brain for answers. Any answers!

While he was thinking, Beast Boy saw a yellow dot appear on his desk. Beast Boy paid no attention to it, but then was dumbstruck as the dot turned into a line.

Beast Boy stared at the desk like he just saw a ghost. A yellow line had appeared out of nowhere on his desk. Was he… hallucinating? He must have been.

Beast Boy stared in horror as a second line appeared, and another and another, until he realized that those lines were forming writing!

Was this… Raven? No, it couldn't be, he thought, recalling a conversation he had with her on the beach.

"_Well come on, tell me stuff I don't already know! Can you… fight with your eyes closed?"_

"_Actually, yeah. I can use my powers to sense the objects around me. Obviously I won't be as good but I probably could."_

"_Can you… oh! Can you speak different languages? Can you make writing appear out of nowhere?"_

"_Yeah, I can speak every language on Earth. It's part of training as a Lady. And no I can't make writing appear out of nowhere. I mean, if I controlled a pencil or something and used it to write, then yeah, but it's impossible to make writing appear from nowhere."_

"_It'd be great if you could. I mean think of how convenient it would be. We could communicate with the others even if we're far away."_

"_Yeah, it would be."_

No, it wasn't Raven. She wasn't the one doing this… was she? But then… who was? And how?

Beast Boy stared at his desk in shock as more yellow lines appeared and eventually formed a sentence, confirming his fear:

**I am Raven.**

Shaking, Beast Boy quickly grabbed a yellow white-out marker on his desk and wrote with a quivering hand, 'Where are you?'

Beast Boy felt his heart pound against his chest as more writing appeared.

**I**

**love**

**you.**

Beast Boy panted hard and waited for more writing to appear. At last, more came.

**Do**

**you**

**love**

**me**

**?**

Shaking in fear, Beast Boy contemplated the question. Did he… love her? Their relationship was still very new. But did he… truly have feelings for her? Has he loved her all these years and not known it, at least consciously? Shaking, Beast Boy tried writing back again, but realized the ink was out.

No, he thought. Not now. Come on, work. Work! In fury, Beast Boy pounded the desk with the tip of his marker and saw that it left a dot. Beast Boy thought quickly and started banging the desk with his marker, creating dots that eventually formed a heart.

Panting, he waited for an answer.

None came.

Tears fell from his eyes as Beast Boy looked at the cryptic writing scrawled on his desk.

**I am Raven.**

**I love you.**

**Do you love me?**

~Secrets in my Heart~


	14. The End x Raven

_Raven's Journal – A New Life_

_It's been a year since I've met them. A year since the day I came to Earth, a year since I met four people with incredible powers, a year since the Teen Titans were formed. Robin, a boy with years of martial arts training who instantly won my respect. Cyborg, a young man with the body of a machine but the warm heart of a loving human. Starfire, an alien like me, who seems to know nothing but happiness and joy. Beast Boy, a boy with the powers to shape shift into various animals. While I've tried to stay emotionally distant from them, somehow I've learned to trust them. I've grown accustomed to them, so to say. Except the last one. This "Beast Boy" person really gets on my last nerve. He always jokes around, is never serious, and thinks I'm a creep. Somehow though, we've made a good team. But that's all. Just a team._

…

_Raven's Journal – Friends_

_I felt Trigon today. His influence over me has begun. He's planted his seed into my mind, and one day that seed will sprout and blossom into a black flower. And the prophecy will be complete. But something strange happened. Beast Boy and Cyborg went into my room without permission and entered my mind via my mirror. Somehow, they've managed to help me suppress Trigon. They've made me see that I'm not alone. They've made me see that these people I'm with—Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy—they're not just my teammates. They were… my friends. In Azarath, my only friend was Raphael. Now I have four here on Earth. Now, I have to protect them, no matter what._

…

_Raven's Journal – Beast Boy_

_Beast Boy saved my life today. He came in contact with some chemicals, which turned him into a ferocious monster. An enemy of ours suffered the same fate and tried to kill me. I would have been dead—if it weren't for Beast Boy. Somehow, even though he was a monster and didn't know what he was doing, somehow he saved me. After that, we had a moment which, of course, Beast Boy had to ruin. I will truly never understand him. But now I know he's not the idiot he wants everyone to believe. I think he wants everyone to believe he's an idiot. He has some kind of secret underneath, but he covers it up with jokes. Someday, I'd like to discover this secret. I'd like to know the true Beast Boy._

Raven eyes opened like blossoming lilies. She felt something strange, like an aura of happiness surrounding her. This feeling was so new, but it felt good. Raven could be with Beast Boy now, with no fears, no doubts, no troubles. There was nothing in the way now.

"I saw the way you looked at me," she whispered to herself. "And you saw the way I looked at you. I can feel it now—this amazing connection we have. I don't care what happens now. It's us that matters. We'd be amazing together. We are perfect for each other."

Smiling, she got up slowly, still slightly dazed. As the other Titans immediately gathered around her, she reassured them that she was alright.

She couldn't stop smiling as she headed towards the cliff where Robin said Beast Boy would be waiting. She kept thinking of what to say to him. She planned out their entire conversation. Then after that, they'd go to the Jackal again, or maybe back to the music store and listen to that wonderful song. Or maybe they'd go to the beach, or the arcade, or whatever. It didn't matter where they went or what they did. Raven would be with him. Beast Boy would be with her. And it'll be amazing, no matter what.

"I heard your voice," she whispered. "You called out to me, in the deepest darkness. You lit my way back."

What was this sensation she was feeling? She felt so warm, so happy, so… good.

Her heart pounded, but for the first time, it wasn't pounding because she was scared. It wasn't pounded because she was angry, afraid, or sad. For the first time, it was pounding because she was happy.

Beast Boy, she kept thinking. Raven remembered the first time she kissed him, or rather, his illusion. She remembered when she spoke to her vision of him, when he kept asking her why she wasn't ready. But now she was.

This was her story. Her story, her life, her love.

A lot has happened today. But now, it was just a lazy afternoon. The sun was setting, and a new day will dawn. A new day will dawn for her and Beast Boy.

As Raven walked towards the cliff, she sensed Beast Boy. Her heart beating even faster, she realized he was very close. Why not talk to him now, she wondered, as she began walking towards the direction he was in. Raven sensed that he was at the beach, which wasn't far from where she was.

Raven's pace went from a walk to a job to a run as she couldn't wait to leap into his arms. All she wanted to do right now was hug him. To thank him for saving her. And to see that smile again. That's all she wanted.

As she finally made it to the beach, Raven caught a glimpse of Beast Boy…

…And Terra.

Curious, yet a little afraid at the same time, Raven crept closer and hid behind a rock.

Nothing was happening, she reassured herself. He's probably just telling her sorry, he couldn't be with her. It's alright. Everything's alright.

But still, she was scared.

"We need to talk."

"Why? There's already… "someone else," right?"

"Yeah, but… there's something I need to know. Something that… I couldn't quite understand."

"Yes, Garfield?"

"We promised… on the beach that we'd always stick together. That we'd always be together, right? Then… how come you betrayed us and helped Slade?"

"No, that… wasn't me. That—I can't explain it. I'm not even sure myself. Slade had… some kind of influence over me. He clouded my mind. He made me forget so much. I tried fighting back, but he forced me, somehow, to forget so much. When I finally had the strength to fight back, when the volcano was about to erupt… you came to me. You told me it was too late. That was when I remembered. That's when I remembered our promise. I wasn't there for you when I betrayed you, so I knew I had to sacrifice myself… to repay my debt. If you didn't remember the promise we made, at least I would. At least I'd be there for you."

"And when you came back to life, I wasn't there for you, was I?"

"It's not your fault. You tried to be there, but I pushed you away. I wanted to start over. But I realized that I couldn't start over, not when you're still in my heart.

"The truth is, I love you Beast Boy. I love you so much!"

Raven cringed and clenched her fist. No… It's alright. He's going to tell her it's over. Right? Have faith… in him.

"Terra… There's something you need to know. Something I don't understand, myself. When I was out there, saving Raven, when I was fighting that giant monster, when I was saving Raven from this Void thing, I kept thinking of someone, and it wasn't who I thought it'd be."

Raven felt herself hold her breath in fear.

"It… was you, Terra."

"I kept thinking of you, Terra," he said. "All those times we were together, all those memories we shared."

If Raven had heard the rest, maybe things would have ended differently. If Raven had heard the rest, maybe she and Beast Boy would've had time to talk. If Raven had heard the rest, maybe she would've placed her trust in Beast Boy.

But she was already gone.

…

Raven ran away as fast as she could with tears in her eyes. She couldn't think. If she could, she wouldn't have known what to think.

All she knew was run.

Run.

Run.

Pant.

Pant.

Run.

Trip.

Fall.

Raven, lying down on the street, sobbing, thought about Beast Boy. He never loved her, did he? He always loved Terra, didn't he? Even when it mattered most, even when he was saving Raven's life, he couldn't stop thinking about Terra. She should have known. She knew since the very beginning. She shouldn't have trusted him! Did he think about Terra while he was in Azarath? Did he think about Terra while he was in the Jackal when they went on their first date? How long did he think of her?

He ALWAYS thinks of Terra!

"No…" she whispered between her sobs as a truck came towards her.

She shouldn't have trusted him!

"No," she whispered as the truck came closer.

With all her strength, Raven shouted a word that shook the entire world. "NO!"

Raven opened her eyes and saw a truck five feet away from her. Only it wasn't moving. It was perfectly still. Raven looked through her tears at the other cars on the road, which were also still as ice. Raven stood up and looked at the people walking on the road, who were now all frozen in their steps.

She slowly walked up to one of the people, a frozen woman in her mid-twenties carrying a small purse. Still sniffling, Raven extended her arm and gently touched the woman's shoulder. Raven instantly retracted her hand as the woman and the entire world around her began moving again. Only she wasn't moving forward. She was moving backwards.

Raven looked around in confusion as all the people and the cars were moving backwards. They began moving faster backwards, then faster. Faster.

Raven looked up at the bright sun, which slowly rose up from the horizon and moved towards the east. In seconds, the sun, the cars, and the people slowed down, and eventually came to a halt. Once more, they began moving. Only forward this time.

Raven looked around and wondered what just happened. She saw everyone run around screaming. In confusion, Raven accidentally bumped into a man.

"Oh I'm sorry," she said wearily. "What's… going on?"

"You don't know?" the man replied. "There's like a huge monster at the beach or something!"

Before Raven could respond, the man quickly ran away.

Huge monster?

Raven stopped another man and asked him what time it was. "3:20," the man hastily responded as he ran away. 3:20? The sun was setting just a while ago. How was it 3:20 now?

Then Raven understood. She had somehow travelled back in time. In seconds, she had somehow travelled several hours back in time from the evening of today to this time. The huge monster must have been Paen when Raven just transformed into a monster.

But why and how did she travel back in time? She had never done that before. Time Travel was one of the Seven Ancient Spells—ultimate magic created by the most powerful sorcerers in the world after the Sorcerer-Demon War. However, Time Travel is impossible for the people of our time to use as it was too powerful. How, then, did Raven manage to do it? She had once come close by stopping time when Slade was ordered by Trigon to find Raven. But never before had she or anyone else time travelled in 3000 years.

But she didn't have time to think. All she could think about was Beast Boy. She wanted… to talk to him. She needed to talk to him. No matter what. She wanted to see him one last time.

And so, Raven stumbled towards Titans Tower.

…

As Raven finally reached Titans Tower, she felt very weary. But not from the walk. Not even from the Time Travel. She felt like this feeling of tiredness was eating her insides.

But she ignored it.

She had to talk to Beast Boy.

As Raven walked closer and closer, she felt more and more exhausted, as if each step was a mile she just ran. Why did she feel… so…

Raven felt a ringing in her ear. As she clenched her head, the ringing became louder and unbearable, causing her to fall down, sliding down onto the large rocks next to the Tower.

"Ah… what's going… on…?"

Looking up, Raven saw Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg exit the tower. They must be leaving to fight Paen now, she thought. But Beast Boy wasn't with them. Which means Beast Boy was still in the Tower!

Raven struggled to get up. This was the perfect opportunity now. She could talk to him—alone. But as Raven stood up, she immediately fell down and scratched her face on a rock. Why did she feel like this? What was happening?

Raven gazed at her hand and saw in horror as it seemed to fade slightly. Her jaw dropped in fear as she could see right through her hand. Her hand then became real again.

What was happening?

The same then happened to her arm, then her legs. They seemed to fade slightly, become transparent, then stop.

What was happening?

It was almost as if she was…

…Disappearing.

And then she understood.

When she and Beast Boy were in the Void, Raven thought of nothing but Beast Boy, which is why Beast Boy was alive. She assumed he had thought of her as well, thus completing her existence. But now, she realized that Beast Boy was thinking of…

Terra.

He was thinking of Terra, not her.

He was… in love with Terra. Not her.

That was why Raven felt weary.

That was why Raven's disappearing.

Raven knew now.

She was going to die.

No… she had to talk to Beast Boy. She had to see his face just one more time.

She had to see his smile.

Just one more time, before she dies, before she disappears.

Though she struggled, Raven managed to slowly crawl towards the door. As she opened the door and fell inside, she had only one thing on her mind: Beast Boy.

Ignoring the pain and her fading body, Raven slowly traversed throughout the hallways, looking for Beast Boy. Using her powers, Raven sensed that he was in her room, and she, holding the wall for support, slowly walked towards her room.

…

Making her way to her room, Raven opened the door, but was disappointed to find that Beast Boy wasn't there. She now sensed that he was heading towards his own room.

Please Beast Boy, she whispered. Slow down. Wait for me. Please. Ahh!

Clutching her side, Raven felt her stomach begin to fade.

No… she thought. Just a little longer. I can't… die… yet.

Looking up, she saw that her own room was disappearing as well. Raven stared at her bed as it slowly distorted, then faded. Slowly, all of her things disappeared and the room was empty. Within seconds, a treadmill, some weights, and other exercise gear slowly appeared from nowhere.

Raven wondered what was happening, but she knew her time was almost up. She was getting weaker. Soon, she would disappear.

She had to—she HAD to see Beast Boy.

Slowly, she made her way to his room.

Raven kept thinking about Beast Boy. She had to see Beast Boy one more time. Once more, before she died. The thought of seeing him one last time was the only thing that kept her from collapsing right there, the only thing that kept her going, no matter how much her feet and arms and body hurt. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, she reached his room.

Bursting into his room, Raven saw Beast Boy jump out the window.

"No!" she shouted.

Running to the window, Raven saw him transform into a pterodactyl and fly away.

"Beast Boy! Beast Boy!" Raven shouted with the top of her lungs.

"Come back! Come back! Beast Boy, come back!" Tears flooded her eyes and dripped down her cheeks. Though her voice was raspy and hoarse and it now hurt when she talked, Raven continued to scream.

"Come back! Please don't go! Don't go! Beast Boy, come back. Please! You can't go… yet…" She choked on her tears and began sobbing. Why wouldn't he come back? Why… Why…?

"Come back… please," she sobbed.

Raven slid down the wall and collapsed on the floor, sobbing.

"Beast Boy, Beast Boy," she kept whispering.

Beast Boy was… gone. She'll never see him again.

Raven thought about what was going to happen now. She was fading, and she had seen her room disappear and turn into a gym. But why?

Raven concluded that because she was disappearing, reality was being altered as if she had never existed. Because she was disappearing, reality now says that she never existed, that she was never a Titan. This must be how the Void works. It doesn't simply erase one's existence. It erases all memory of that person as well. After all, to be forgotten is a fate worse than death, itself.

But does that mean people will forget her, as well?

Does that mean Beast Boy will forget her?

Beast Boy is going to forget her?

"No," she whispered. "Beast Boy, don't forget me. Please don't. Please! No!"

Raven quietly continued sobbing.

Her entire body quivered as Raven felt her feet slowly fade.

As Raven lay there, she thought about all of her memories, all of the memories and moments of her life. Raven remembered her childhood, how she was always alone and friendless. She remembered meeting Raphael, and how he grew to be her best friend, then her brother. She remembered going to Earth and meeting the Teen Titans, and meeting Beast Boy. She remembered trying to keep from getting close to them, in fear of Paen. She remembered how they, somehow, became her friends. She remembered them saving the world from Trigon. She remembered all of their adventures together. Raven thought about each and every one of them, and gave them a small goodbye.

"Robin," she whispered to herself. "You never knew this, but I've always looked up to you. You were so smart and clever, that I was envious at times. You were so serious and you knew how to get things done. We make a good team. You'll… take good care of Starfire."

"Cyborg, you're like our big brother. Always taking care of us. Always teasing us. Whenever you struggled, I'd always cheer you on. At least, to myself. I never told you that, but I did."

"Starfire, you're my best friend. We're like exact opposites—I'm so dark but you're so happy. Yet somehow you became the best friend I've ever known. We could talk to each other about everything. You've shown me a lot of things I've never known. You're the closest I've had to a sister. Thank you."

"Beast Boy…" she cried. "I—I've… I c—. You make me happier… then I ever thought I could be. You… breathed life into me. You've shown me things I've never known before. You made me look past my secrets—my… unspeakable secrets. You made me see the world a new way. And for that… for that… thank you," Raven sniffled. "But did you… ever… love…"

Raven cried softly. It was too hard. She didn't want any of them to forget her. Why did this have to happen? Why?

As she lay on the ground facing the ceiling, Raven thought of all the moments she shared with Beast Boy. She remembered when she saw him in her Hall of Thoughts and Memories. She remembered when she kissed her vision of him. She remembered him taking her to the music store. She remembered their cliff. She remembered taking him to Azarath. She remembered how he looked in that suit. She remembered dining with him. She remembered him saving her during her wedding with Seymour. She remembered their conversation on the beach. She remembered their date at The Jackal. She remembered dancing with him. She remembered everything.

One particular memory flashed in her mind. She remembered when she was at her table in the banquet in Azarath. She remembered Jane telling her about this wonderful person she had met. "He's so cute and handsome and strong," Raven remembered Jane saying. "I think I'm in love." Raven smiled and whispered to herself, "That's not love." As Raven stared at Beast Boy dining with her, she whispered to herself, "Love is when there is no explanation. You don't know why or how you love them. All you know is it feels right." As Beast Boy smiled at her, Raven smiled back happily. "That's true love."

Now, Raven was lying here, slowly dying, thinking about what whether or not Beast Boy had ever loved her at all.

Raven didn't know how long she laid there. She knew she couldn't move because of the enormous pain in her legs and chest. And besides, she had nowhere else to go. Nothing else to do but slowly… die.

"I… don't want… to… die…" she whispered.

"I want to…"

She didn't know why, but Raven felt like she had to tell him. She had to tell Beast Boy how she felt. Nothing else mattered. With all her strength, Raven tried to get up, but slipped and banged her head on the floor. Slightly dazed, she tried again, but found that she was too weak. Again, again, and again she tried, until finally she managed to sit up. Raven, ignoring the pain in her fading legs, pulled herself up onto Beast Boy's chair with much difficulty. Resting her head on Beast Boy's desk, she cried as she thought of Beast Boy and how she'll never see him again. She regretted not staying back and talking to him at the beach. She regretted not walking faster and catching him before he flew off. She regretted not trusting him and letting Paen take her. She regretted being cynical to him for so long. She regretted not opening up to him. She regretted everything.

Now she was dying, and she could not tell him how she felt. She couldn't tell him her true feelings. But there was only way that she could now.

Still crying, Raven picked up a yellow marker on Beast Boy's desk and began writing on it, knowing that Beast Boy would receive her message in the future.

Fighting back the pain in her fading body, Raven wrote onto the desk with a shaking hand.

**I am Raven.**

Raven lost all feeling on her legs and stomach, but she kept going. Raven tried hard to fight back her tears as she wrote, but they poured out like they never have before. Her eyes burned, her hands shook, and her mouth was dry. Just a little longer…

**I love you.**

Raven felt something clog her throat. She couldn't breathe. Her vision started fading. She was about to die. No, just a little… more. With all her energy, with all her might, Raven wrote down four final words:

**Do you love me**

As Raven saw Beast Boy kissing her one last time, she finished her message.

**?**

Raven's hand was still. The marker she was holding fell through her hands as her hand disappeared, then her arm, then her body. Raven's entire body distorted, faded, and disappeared, along with everyone's memories of her.

Several hours in the future, Beast Boy was jabbing the desk with his marker, drawing a heart, waiting for a reply.

But none came.

All that was left of Raven were those final words written in yellow ink.

**I am Raven.**

**I love you.**

**Do you love me?**

~Secrets in my Heart~


	15. Epilogue x The Years After

**And so concludes this story, which has taken nearly five months to write! Thank you to all of my readers for reading this. It has been an enormous pleasure to write and hopefully a pleasure to read, as well. Thank you especially for the readers who have been reading since the very beginning! Nothing would make me happier than you guys reading my story and enjoying it. Thank you.**

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><p><em>Raven's Journal – His Smile<em>

_Beast Boy and I had a fight today. This time, it was about Terra. And for the first time, I felt Paen. When we were arguing, I saw two red eyes, and I heard a voice speak to me. I knew it was Paen and I instantly fought back. I meditated and eventually controlled it. But there's no doubt it's there. If I let my emotions get out of hand again, I might not be so lucky next time._

_Later, Starfire entered my mind, and I had to go get her out. While we were there, though, we stumbled into my Hall of Thoughts and Memories. There, I saw Beast Boy. Only Beast Boy. Do I really think about him that much? Later, Beast Boy came back and apologized to me. I was tempted to kiss him, but I resisted._

_After he left, I couldn't help but go back into my mind once again. I entered the Hall of Thoughts and Memories once more and saw all those memories of Beast Boy that I had._

_There were so many memories._

_But I must keep this to myself. No one must know how I felt._

_Nobody can know that I was in love with him._

_This will be my unspeakable secret._

_Though I had a chance to kiss him today, I resisted. I couldn't let myself be any more than friends with him. If I grow too attached to him, there's a chance that Paen might come out. I can't risk that happening._

_Although I loved him…_

_Seeing him smile was good enough._

– **5 Months Later –**

Beast Boy walked down the beach. Spring had arrived and the air was very warm. Today was just a lazy afternoon.

He thought he was alone, but then he saw someone out in the ocean. Oh great, he thought. Just when he thought he had the beach all too himself. Weird, she looked familiar. Had he seen her before? Her blonde hair reminded him of… Terra!

"Terra?" Beast Boy whispered as he crept closer.

Yes, it was. But what was she doing? She didn't look like she was swimming. She just kept walking out onto the ocean.

As Terra turned back towards the city, she saw Beast Boy and immediately ran out further into the ocean.

Was she trying to… drown? As Terra's head sank underwater, Beast Boy's eyes widened and he ran out onto the beach. "Terra!"

Picking Terra out of the water, Beast Boy dragged her out onto the sand.

"No!" she shouted. "No! Let me die! Let me die!"

"Terra!" Beast Boy said. "Don't do this!" Both were in tears.

Terra, now standing on the beach, shouted, "Stop it, just stop! I can't live any longer! Just let me go! Let me go! Stop humiliating me like this! Just let me be!"

Terra pushed Beast Boy away furiously. "Get out! Why do you have to do this to me? Go! Get away from me! I never want to see you again! Go! Go!"

Terra kept pushing and punching him, but then she collapsed into his arms.

"Don't go…" she whispered.

– **The Next Day –**

Terra, who was taken into Titans Tower yesterday, was invited to rejoin the Titans. While she was reluctant, the others assured her that they held no grudges against her. Though Terra was hesitant, she agreed to become the fifth Teen Titan.

Upon Terra's initiation, the Teen Titans decided to drop the 'Teen' in the name, since the youngest, Beast Boy, had just turned 18 a week ago. Subsequently, Robin became Nightwing and Beast Boy became Changeling. Thus formed the new Titans: Nightwing, Starfire, Cyborg, Changeling, and Terra.

– **1 Month Later –**

Changeling eventually realizes that he still has feelings for Terra. He eventually realizes that though he did have feelings for Raven, his heart truly lied with Terra. He had never forgotten her. She was the one he truly loved. The two then decided to restart their relationship.

– **5 Years Later –**

Starfire and Nightwing have been dating since their adventure in Tokyo, and while Starfire is eager in their relationship, Nightwing is not, instead focusing on missions and once abandoning Starfire during their date when he finds Slade's whereabouts. Following Slade to the outskirts of Mexico City, the Titans discover Slade had been assembling an army of indestructible robots with super-human intelligence, all under his control. The mission ends in a success, with the facility being destroyed and Slade burning to death in its fires. After Starfire nearly suffers the same fate, Nightwing has an epiphany and proposes to Starfire, who happily agrees. The two marry later that year, and during the reception, Cyborg meets the woman who would later become his love: Sarah Simms.

– **2 Years Later –**

Changeling and Terra, whose relationship has been rocky ever since it started, decide to get married. With four Titans either married or engaged and one Titan still dating, they realize that they no longer have time to save the world, and retire their superhero positions. The new Teen Titans comprise of Red Robin (Jason Todd), Kid Flash, Superboy, Wonder Girl, Solstice, and Skitter.

Nightwing is now Dick Grayson, Captain of the Jump City Police Department. Starfire is now Koriand'r Grayson, a secretary. Dick and Koriand'r Grayson have a child, a girl they named Mar'i Grayson, who would grow up to become a superhero named Nightstar. Cyborg became Victor Stone, a S.H.I.E.L.D. scientist who goes on to create the nanobug, a tiny machine that could be used to spy on enemies. Terra became Tara Markoff-Logan and started out as a singer, but eventually became a fashion designer. Changeling is now Garfield Logan, who started out as a journalist, chronicling the lives and times of the Teen Titans. After a month, he realized that newspapers were for information about now, not the past, so he compiled all his writings and published it into a book, which became a _New York Times_ bestseller.

– **3 Years Later –**

Garfield, though he had tried so very hard not to forget Raven, though he held fast onto his memories of her, even he eventually lost all memories of Raven. And for years, he had never thought about her. Not once. Until one day, ten years after her disappearance, when Garfield heard a knock on his front door in a dark, stormy night.

Garfield opened the door and saw a woman in her late twenties standing there. She was wearing a white robe-like coat and her hood was down.

"Hi," the woman said.

"Hi…" Garfield said. "Umm… Who are you, may I ask?"

"Oh, sorry. You're Garfield Logan, right? About ten years ago, a girl asked me to give this to "Beast Boy" and left before I could ask who that was. After reading your book, I realized that it was you. So here you go."

The woman pulled a small envelope from her coat and handed it to Garfield.

"Uh, thanks," he said.

"Sure. I didn't open it, just so you know," the woman smiled. She gazed at him for a few seconds, then left.

As she looked up at the sky, the woman said, "It sure is rainy." With these words, she pulled up her hood and stepped into the rain.

Garfield walked into his kitchen, sat down, and opened the letter.

"What's that, hon?" Tara asked.

"Oh, just some old mail," he replied.

"Alright, but remember we're meeting the others for dinner in 15 minutes, 'kay?"

"Ok!"

Beast Boy opened the yellowing paper and saw a handwritten message. As he read it, he smiled ever so slightly as his memories of Raven returned to him, just for a second.

The letter read:

_Beast Boy_

_It doesn't matter if you don't love me._

_It doesn't matter if you don't remember me._

_I just want you to know one thing._

_You made me happier than I ever thought I could be._

_Though the secrets in my heart separated us,_

_Though I cried my lover's tears,_

_Seeing you smile was good enough for me._

_And it doesn't matter if you don't love me._

_It doesn't matter if you forget me._

_I just want to tell you a secret._

_I love you._

_Raven_

~Secrets in my Heart~


	16. Secret Ending x Raphael

**What? A possible sequel? Tell me in the reviews what you guys think! Ideas for the sequel are also appreciated!**

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><p>– <strong>The Near Future –<strong>

A cold wind howled in the dark night as rain poured down like teardrops from the sky. A meteor shower appeared in the skies above, but was noticed by no one, for everyone were either in hiding or were dead. Not a single sound of life could be detected in the nearly deserted city of Sector 1 of Azarath except for a lone white stallion racing through the streets towards the castle. Riding the stallion was Captain Lieutenant Raphael, a man whose face was mixed with rain and sweat and whose eyes were fixated with determination. Though he was not an old man yet, the years have not been kind on him, as he sports several gray hairs in his hair and beard along with many wrinkles on his face. His physical strength however, refined from many long, hard years as a farmer, were unrelenting, as shown as he manages to control and steer the stallion with only one hand. His other hand carried something far too valuable to risk losing.

Both horse and man panted with weariness. But they could not stop now. Raphael gracefully navigated through the capital, gliding across streets and racing past deserted buildings and houses. His entire body ached and was weak, but he rustled up all his remaining energy and kept going.

At long last, he reached the castle and barged in through the huge doors. Entering the cold room dimly lit only by a few candles, Raphael nearly fell off the horse, shook off the rain, and ran past the destroyed statues and up the stairs as fast as he could. Though every step made him wearier and wearier, he knew he could not let himself collapse now. Too much was at stake. Finally, he had reached the Master's Room, and ran inside to find four men and two women standing inside.

"The scroll!" Raphael exclaimed through his gasps for breath. "The scroll's here! It's here!"

As one of the women came over to help him sit down on a nearby chair, one of the men walked over and was handed the scroll. "Thank you, Raphael. I was worried you were not going to make it back."

"Thank you, Auntie," Raphael said to the woman. "No need to thank me, Father Sanae. It was not easy, but you know I would have done it no matter what the circumstances. Now open it. Do you think what we want to do is possible?"

"It must be," the Father said as he carefully placed the scroll in the center of a pentacle drawn in the center of the chamber with such precision and with so many details it made Raphael dizzy just looking at it. "Remember what Father Don Quixote said in his dying words? 'You must find the Forbidden Scroll and unlock the Seven Ancient Spells. Only with them shall you be able to find the key to unlock the world.'"

Raphael nodded and whispered under his breath, "Raven."

"Our world is dying," another Father remarked. "As well as all other worlds in due time. This is the only choice we have left to save all existence from complete, utter erasure."

"Indeed," the Father Sanae replied. "Ready yourselves." With these words, the four Fathers and the Lady—the woman that did not help Raphael—walked into their positions on the pentacle and began the spell to unlock the Forbidden Scroll.

"Ad rectum et innumeras iniurias diebus nostris," one Father said. "To right the countless wrongs of our day."

"Haec lux vera redemptio fulgemus," another Father followed. "We shine this light of true redemption."

"Sicut paradisus sit locus iste," came another Father. "That this place may become as paradise."

"Quid mirum si mundum ut," said the Lady. "What a wonderful world such would be."

Father Sanae took a deep breath and finished the spell, "Mundus terminum Apud te."

As his words echoed through the room, it was quickly overtaken by the sound of rushing wind and roaring waves. The pentacle began to illuminate with a golden light as the scribbles and ancient hieroglyphics that were drawn inside the pentacle came to life. The Forbidden Scroll seemed to vibrate as it slowly floated up off the ground. As it flew up slowly, the scroll eventually stopped at the center of the room and abruptly erupted in a massive explosion of light. Raphael gasped in shock as he shielded his eyes from the blinding light. The light then faded, and as he looked back, the color was flushed from his face as Raphael saw golden words seemingly made of light float gently in the air.

"The Seven Ancient Spells," Seraphina whispered in awe next to Raphael. "The most powerful spells ever created by the most powerful sorcerers."

"Capable of bringing endless peace—or destruction," he remarked in reply.

After searching through the seven spells, Father Sanae grabbed one set of words and gently laid them on his fingers. "This is the one we need," he whispered. "The Time Travel Spell."

"Can it be done?" one of the Fathers asked in anticipation. "Are we powerful enough to cast such a spell?"

"We can," Raphael said. "Because we have to."

"Yes, indeed," Seraphina added.

"It won't be easy, even if we can cast it," the Lady remarked. "We must cast the spell with utmost precision. The tiniest bit of deviation from the exact moment in time that we need will result in failure. Are you ready, Raphael?"

"Yes, I am, Lady Arella."

"Our goal is ultimately Raven. We will send you back in time to the exact moment that caused Raven's death many years ago: the time when she was in the Void after Paen was destroyed. Raphael, you must enter the Void back in her time and think of her with all your heart and mind. Only then can she be saved."

"I understand."

"However, I cannot guarantee that you will make it out alive, for there will be no one to think of you. You, yourself, would disappear in Raven's stead. That is a sacrifice we do not wish to make, but we must."

"Father, I would gladly die in Raven's place," Raphael said without faltering. "She is a sister to me. You know as well as I do that I would die for Raven without hesitation."

"You are… truly noble, Raphael," Lady Arella said. "Thank you for saving my daughter."

Raphael bowed his head and slowly entered the pentacle. As the Fathers and Ladies began the incantation, Raphael felt his heart beat furiously and his hand tingle. He tried to calm himself but he knew otherwise. He was going to die now. Within a few moments, he would be transported back in time to the Void. He would be able to save Raven, but no one could save him. But it was alright. It was for the fate of the world—no, the fate of his sister. As his vision began to dim and the voices of the Fathers and Ladies began to echo and die, as he traveled back in time to save Raven, Raphael knew he had no regrets.

…

**– Present, The Void –**

Opening his eyes, he was met with pure darkness. Raphael examined his surroundings and saw that he was floating in a dark, empty realm. "The Void," he said silently. Scanning the horizon, Raphael searched for Raven. In time, he found her and flew over towards her. As he got close to her, she gently floated onto him. Holding her in his arms, Raphael shed a small tear and thought of her with all his might. He thought of their times and memories together. He thought of when they met and when they played. He thought of when she left Azarath.

"Raven! Raven!" he heard a voice cry. Looking away from her, Raphael saw the distant figure of Beast Boy approaching them. Looking back towards Raven, Raphael gave her a small kiss goodbye and gently pushed her away. As the unconscious body of Raven slowly floated through the air towards Beast Boy, as she flew away from him, as he took his last glimpse of her, his sister, Raphael looked on and smiled.

"It's a far greater rest that I go to now than I ever have known," Raphael whispered. "Dying in place of Raven. That's good enough. After all, the world needs her now."

Raphael glanced onto the palm of his right hand, which showed a burning timer with scarlet red numbers on it, ticking down. "We don't have much time left," he said. And he let his breath escape him.

…

Raven was silent.

Utter silence.

Peaceful silence.

…I'm still…alive?

Raven's eyes opened ever so slightly and she saw Beast Boy holding her.

…Beast Boy.

He's… here.

Raven smiled. Beast Boy came to me… He came for me…

Then Raven realized that if Beast Boy was here, then he was thinking about her.

Just as she thought of him as she thought she was dying, Beast Boy must have been thinking of her. That's why she was still alive. They helped each other exist. And now, that the Void can't swallow them into nothingness, they would be transported out. They would escape!

I know now, Raven thought.

No matter how difficult it would be, no matter what stands in the way, there will always be a way.

There will be dangers, but she will always take the risk.

As long as she had Beast Boy…

She and Beast Boy had survived all this, somehow.

Paen was gone.

Paen no longer controlled her.

She was free now, because of Beast Boy.

Now they were going home.

As Raven and Beast Boy flew back to Earth in the burst of light, she couldn't help but smile.

In the end, everything was good.

No matter what the dangers, there is always a way.

In the end…

All was good.

But what Raven didn't know was that it was not the end. It was far from it. As the burning timer on Raphael's hand showed, the End had not yet come but was dangerously close.

~Memories in my Heart~


End file.
